Revisiting my 50X50 list

Revisiting my 50X50 list

For my 45th birthday, I thought it would be good to revisit this bucket list for a couple of reasons. 1 – I’m turning 50 in 5 years. 2 – I haven’t looked at it in a couple of years and it’s WAY outdated…several items are done that aren’t marked off, and others are no longer in my desires.

For this update I am keeping everything marked off that I’ve done…marking off the things I HAVE done that I hadn’t marked off yet, and adding new items to replace those I’m letting go of for now.

Color Code:

Newly Done (past 4 years)
Previously Done
New
Updated

50 X 50

  1. Take a real vacation. (Not to Buffalo, not w/ the kids) (Done 4/23/12)
  2. Take my kids to Disney World. (Done, thanks to Make-A-Wish 10/28/14)
  3. See my name in print (get published, e-zine, paper-zine). (Done 6/24/12 – Sirens Call June 2012 Issue)
  4. Have a novel published. (Done 2/8/13 – Changing Tracks & 17 more times [so far] by 7/18/15)
  5. Get my Dominion Falls books series in front of a producer.
  6. Go Parasailing
  7. Take a photography class (or 2 or 3)
  8. Perform on stage again (done 12/4/15 – Violet Grey in A Charlie Brown Christmas)
  9. See Colorado
  10. Speak on a panel at a conference.
  11. See Yellowstone
  12. Go skydiving.
  13. Go to a blogger’s conference. (done 4/23/12)
  14. Sit at a book signing. (done 3/17/2018)
  15. Get on a regular exercise regime & stay on it for more than 3 months.
  16. Hand craft (knit, sew) 1 item for ME for a change.  (DONE 4/1/12)
  17. Swim with dolphins.
  18. Get some crazy color in my hair (purple, blue, pink highlites/streaks) Done 2/11/12
  19. Finish writing THE novel, my white whale, Into A Mirror Darkly
  20. Sing Karaoke (Done 4/2018)
  21. Go to Key West for vacation.
  22. Move to Florida. (done 5/4/19)
  23. Pay off debt.
  24. Get a car that is less than 2 years old. (done 4/2/18)
  25. Run a 5kDone 9/22/12 
  26. Do something daring (paragliding, zipline, etc.) Done 7/14/12
  27. See the butterflies at the Indy Zoo (Done 3/19/13)
  28. Learn sign language.
  29. Go on a road trip with a girlfriend. (done 2018)
  30. Go on a hot air balloon ride
  31. See Cirque du Soleil (Done 6/27/2012)
  32. Ride a horse – not a trail horse. A real ride on a horse.
  33. Volunteer. (Done – w/ Make-A-Wish 2018)
  34. Stop drinking pop
  35. Visit Disneyland (Done 5/2/17)
  36. Get a tattoo (Done 7/16/11)
  37. Go on a Cruise [preferably Alaskan, but I’m not picky]
  38. Go on a wine tasting (Done 10/16/10)
  39. Get a Henna tattoo
  40. Take my husband to swim with sharks
  41. Fly first class
  42. Learn to paddle board.
  43. Have a real spa day (Done, thanks to Hubs, 7/2014)
  44. Visit a real haunted location (Done 7/16/16)
  45. Sell a photo
  46. Visit Salem, MA
  47. Visit both US based Disney Parks in one year. (done 2017)
  48. See a solar eclipse. (done 8/2/2017)
  49. Own and use a twin-lens reflex camera.
  50. Become a nurse. 

I think that’ll do for now.  I can’t wait to get back to tackling items on the list with intention now that the world is opening again….and in six months I’ll be free of school and making decent money. I’m thinking skydiving will be one of my graduation rewards because…WOOHOO!!!

What’s Next in this Oola Life?

Well, it’s pretty well known that my main goal that went on the Oola bus was to move to Florida.

And, here we are!!

It’s been a crazy two years, since I found Oola, and a crazier year since I got to put my dream on the bus!

At times I never thought I’d make it here.

At others, I remained steadfast and certain it would happen.

Now, as the chaos dies down and we settle into a bit of normality – something has been nudging me.

A new goal.

A somehow much scarier one.

One that I’ve denied for much longer than I care to admit.

A dream that I’ve talked myself out of any, and every time it has popped into my head.

I deemed it a passing fancy.

Something I was never strong enough to do.

I don’t have the constitution for it.

The persistent nudging hasn’t stopped, so I cautiously stepped out and told my husband.

Then my BFF, and my mother.

Yet I kept it close to the vest.

I told myself it was because this one was for me.

But really, in the end, I recognized it for what it was – Fear.

Ooh, that Oola Blocker of blockers.

Fear of what?

Being ridiculed. Failing. Being told I could never do it.

Once I recognized this, I knew it was time to say it.

So here it goes.

My crazy, new goal…

I’m going to school to become a nurse.

It’s in many ways so much scarier than moving across country.

But it feels right.

It’s Hard to Surrender When You’re Holding Your Breath…

I have this friend that every time we talk, something profound comes out of it. Even if I tackle her with an inane conversation, or I just message to give her a boost or vice versa.  Maybe it’s that she’s a shaman, or maybe it’s that sometimes I need to chatter my face off to find a message sometimes, who knows?

Over the course of several months she’d been having a rough time. Between living in the middle of a desert, the government shutdown affecting them, and missing Christmas, she was…stressed.

However, for the same amount of months she’d been talking about the biggest message she’d been receiving in all of her studies, card readings, spirit messages…it was always SURRENDER.

We were discussing the difficulties she was having, the tension she felt, everything all in a nutshell. I was letting her vent, really….when I made the offhand comment:

It’s hard to surrender when you’re holding your breath.

We both kind of stopped right there. It was a big “Whoa” moment for us as we read and re-read the words I’d just typed.

Apparently as much as she needed to hear them, I did as well…because I realized that I’d been doing the same thing, for MONTHS.  With the hope and anticipation and this sense of NEEDING to go home to Florida, I’d built up so many levels of tension in all of it.  Some days I couldn’t breathe for all of it.

BREATHE.

Do you know how important it is to breathe?  Not just for the fact that it keeps you alive…I’m not talking about that breath, really.  I’m talking about holding our soul’s breath.

Waiting…

Anticipation…

Fear…

Doubt…

Excitement…

It holds our souls captive. It locks them in a cage and hides them away from what could well be the next miracle around the corner.

BREATHE.

Right now.

Stop. Whatever it is you’re doing, stop.

Release the tension you’re carrying in your shoulders, your jaw, your neck, your heart.

Breathe out long and slow in release.

Explore what’s causing that tension.

Where are you going? What are you doing? What’s the biggest anxiety in your brain?

Surrender it.

Turn it over to whatever God, Goddess, Nothingness you wish. Give it over to the universe.

Nope. It’s not easy.

It’ll come back to haunt you. To put those knots back in your shoulders.

BREATHE.

To hold your brain hostage.

BREATHE.

To nag at your sense of peace.

BREATHE.

But when it does, you have a weapon.

You let it go.

You breathe.

You release.

You surrender.

Stop holding your breath.

Revisiting the Bucket List – My 50X50

Well, I haven’t taken a hard look at my 50X50 status since 2017…so I knew that it was time to remedy that.  I need to change some things, add in some completed items and well, just tidy that thing all the way up. It’s been neglected far too long.

So join me, won’t you?  Let’s see what awesomeness we have done, or I’m changing, or what is staying the same level of awesomeness.

Color Code:

Newly Done (past 2 years)
Previously Done
New
Updated

***********

50 X 50

  1. Take a real vacation. (Not to Buffalo, not w/ the kids) (Done 4/23/12)
  2. Take my kids to Disney World. (Done, thanks to Make-A-Wish 10/28/14, and again 10/28/15, and again on our own dime 12/22/2017)
  3. See my name in print (get published, e-zine, paper-zine). (Done 6/24/12 – Sirens Call June 2012 Issue)
  4. Have a novel published. (Done 2/8/13 – Changing Tracks & 17 more times [so far] by 7/18/15)
  5. Get my Dominion Falls books series in front of a producer.
  6. Complete every item on my Disney Bucket Lists (there are 3-easy, long-term, difficult).
  7. Take a photography class (or 2 or 3)
  8. Perform on stage again (done 12/4/15 – Violet Grey in A Charlie Brown Christmas)
  9. Learn to snorkel
  10. See Colorado
  11. See Yellowstone
  12. Go skydiving. [Yes, I feel slightly insane here]
  13. Go to a blogger’s conference. (done 4/23/12)
  14. Sit at a book signing. (Done March 2018 at a conference in Nashville!)
  15. Get on a regular exercise regime & stay on it for more than 3 months. (I did this in 2018, then fell off the wagon at peak of fitness. My goal is to achieve again in 2019 and stick with it)
  16. Hand craft (knit, sew) 1 item for ME for a change. (DONE 4/1/12)
  17. Watch the baby turtles hatching
  18. Get some crazy color in my hair (purple, blue, pink highlites/streaks) Done 2/11/12
  19. Read the Harry Potter series aloud to my girls. (2/3 of the way through by 8/4/17)
  20. Sing Karaoke (Done April 2018 – much to my embarrassment.)
  21. Get up close with the wolves & photograph them at Wolf Park. (odds of getting this done before I leave Indiana – now nil. Hoping there’s something similar in FL)
  22. Move to Florida.
  23. Pay off debt. (Making progress on this for the first time ever. Maybe it will get done!)
  24. Get a car that is less than 2 years old (Done March 2018 –  my 2017 Honda Accord Sport)
  25. Run a 5k. Done 9/22/12
  26. Do something daring (paragliding, zipline, etc.) Done 7/14/12
  27. See the butterflies at the Indy Zoo (Done 3/19/13)
  28. Learn sign language.
  29. Go on a road trip with a girlfriend (Done Sept. 2018)
  30. Go on a hot air balloon ride
  31. See Cirque du Soleil (Done 6/27/2012)
  32. Ride a horse – not a trail horse. A real ride on a horse.
  33. Volunteer (Done 12/2017 at Give Kids the World & in 2018 – Became a Make A Wish Volunteer)
  34. Stop drinking pop. (Again – sooo close in 2018. I would still have the occasional, but I was almost there and crashed. Attempting again now)
  35. Visit Disneyland (Done 5/2/17)
  36. Get a tattoo (Done 7/16/11)
  37. Go on a Cruise [preferably Alaskan, but I’m not picky]
  38. Go on a wine tasting (Done 10/16/10)
  39. Get a Henna tattoo
  40. Take my husband to swim with sharks
  41. Fly first class
  42. Read at least 50 of the PBS 100 Great American Reads. (In total I have read 26/50 at this point)
  43. Have a real spa day (Done, thanks to Hubs, 7/2014)
  44. Visit a real haunted location (Done 7/16/16)
  45. Sell a photo
  46. Visit Salem, MA
  47. Visit both US based Disney Parks in one year. (Done in 2017 – Disneyland in May, Disney World in Sept & Dec)
  48. See a solar eclipse. (Done 8/21/2017)
  49. Renew vows with a hand-fasting ceremony on the beach.
  50. Go through a sweat lodge ceremony.
  51. BONUS: Run a full Disney Marathon (I couldn’t find anything to remove, and this is a goal for me for sure)

It’s so much fun to update the list…and to learn that in the past 2 years I have crossed of EIGHT items! That’s craziness in the best of ways!!

As you can see, many of my updates have to do with our upcoming move to Florida, more geared to things I can/will do down there.  I’ve also removed a few items that hadn’t seen progress in a few years, and updated some that needed to be changed (the books site I mentioned previous was different, and the PBS list seemed more attainable).

So what’s on your bucket list?  Do you make an effort to knock out at least one a year? 

I do…and sometimes I don’t even realize I’d done more until I look at my list!

Once you start, it’s hard to stop tackling those dreams!!

Redefining Our Future

Several years ago we decided that we wanted to leave the land of the midwest and journey south to Florida.  Our son moved down two years ago, and his move rather cemented the idea in my head – and with a bit of nudging (or years, you know…potato/potahto), the husband was on board as well.

In 2017 we made actual plans to tackle our debt, get things in order to move in five years. 2022 seemed a good year. The girls would be nearly grown, and we could make our way down much more financially settled .

Eyes on the prize, we dug in. Lapses occurred, things bounced forward thanks to my new job, then went back again. You know, life. We did what we could.

Then, 2018 happened.

2018 brought about trigger points for many changes in our lives – and our future.

We found Oola in late 2017 and used it in 2018 to refocus our goals.

A slimy, underhanded, jerk of a man bought land on our quiet street and plans to build as many rentals as he can.

We were told in no uncertain terms to go for it.

Relationships in our life took turns.

Most of all – we got tired of waiting to chase our goal, and decided to make a mad grab for it.

In June we sat down and had a good long talk and decided we didn’t want to stay here any longer.  We decided we were done waiting for our life to happen. We decided to go for broke and make the leap.

With a target date of mid-2019, we’ve set things in motion to move.  In some ways we still don’t know how. Finding a job in another state, in a low level position is NOT easy. I’ve been at it six months, so I know.  I took the holidays off, but come next week I’ll be back at it hard, with two letters of reference in hand to help boost my resume. I’m going in full bore. The husband is going in full bore.

This is going to happen one way or the other.

2019 is the year of redefining so many things in my life…but the biggest is how we’re going to redefine our future by no longer staying where we’re comfortable. We’re breaking out of our comfort zone.  It’s terrifyingly exciting.

2018 – Finding (and Sometimes Losing) Momentum

Honestly, until last year, I’ve never picked a word for the year before. Not for lack of trying, but being the verbose nut that I am…coming up with just one word for a whole year seemed impossible.

Then, last year at the end of 2017 – a pretty darn good year where I kicked a few bucket list items out of the park, after I’d planned for some big things in 2018…I kept hearing this one word in my head.

MOMENTUM.

I thought that’s just too weird a word for an annual selection.

Still, the word kept coming back to me…and so, I ran with it.

A friend of mine does word art for year words and so I requested she make me some art with this crazy off-the-wall word.

And boy…what a YEAR it has been!  There’s been ups and downs, all with such high intensity.

Books were released and re-released.

Friendships were ended.

Friendships were deepened.

We decided to make a HUGE change in our lives and are now planning to move to Florida to be near our son – and we’re working on it. Hard.

Our washer went out.

Erik had some pretty hefty health concerns.

I took big steps to further my career and learning.

I took a step back from writing.

My momentum crashed somewhere around September…and sort of went in reverse for a while.

I bordered on depression, but didn’t feel tipped over the edge.

I got to see my son 3 times – but didn’t get to see Florida once (~sigh~)

I found a great challenge near the end of the year to help me deepen my faith.

I quit smoking.

I failed to quit pop.

I’ve begun to refocus on my Oola again.

I’ve been up beyond ups….and pretty damn down at some times.  This year passed by like it was on warp factor 9.9 with no time to breathe sometimes.  I overworked myself, and then underworked myself. I struggled to find happy mediums, but happily spent some time in peace and quiet.

It’s been time to pick my word for 2019 again for a little while – and I did so about a month ago.  It’s another weird one…but it has me pretty darn excited for what’s going to come in the new year.

 

You’ll see…pretty soon. 😉