18 years

Fracture
*This site is monetized. Any links in this post are likely to be affiliates.
grampa

I posted this last year and the year before at this time. I’m re-posting it. I will always repost it every year at this time…   I know what today is. I know what it means to our country. I remember every detail of 2001 in vivid detail…but since before 2001, this date has been difficult for me, for my family…in 1996 my family’s core was lost, the heart of us…my grandfather…so my post on 9/11 is for him. Oh, and at surface glance I hate this picture of me, but then I see the pure joy on my face dancing with my grandfather and aesthetics be damned, it’s my favorite picture.  It was his birthday. I was about four years old, and a very short kid…and he was TALL. I remember standing by as he put our coats in the closet. I leaned my head way back to stare up, up, up at him and asked, “How tall are you?” With his sparkling eyes and laugh he informed me that he was over 6′. My eyes grew wide, and all I could say was, “But you’re so close to the ceiling! If you have ANY more birthdays you’ll go right through!” His chair sat by the front door and the minute he sat the race was on – who would get the privilege of sitting on his lap, carrying on as deep a conversation as a child was capable of? Who would get to play with his round pot belly, and listen to his laughter? He worked for GM and he was proud of it, and so were we. When I close my eyes I can still smell his pipe and see the pipe carousel on his dresser. I can smell the cigarettes that he and grandma smoked. I remember that after he retired he would watch soap operas during lunch. And I remember the weddings – when my cousin and I would trade off and share him for the dance. “Grampa” by the Judds. I remember his smile. I remember his belly. I remember the strength that he always carried in his soul and body. I remember the pain that shot through my heart at the word…”cancer”. Once it was uttered it was less than a year. 10 months. I remember the first time I saw him in the hospital-and how I had to run from the room because it made me physically ill to see my big strong grandfather lying in a bed weak and hooked up to tubes. I remember his fight. I remember when it was acknowledged in our hearts that the time to fight was over. I remember how he held on – hours past when we thought we would lose him – because he would not let go until he’d gotten to hear the good-bye of all of his grandchildren, and my brother had been in surgery for a shattered wrist around the world in Japan. Half an hour after the final phone call, Grampa was gone. I remember the sound of the tennis balls scattering across the hallway when my professor’s assistant walked up asking if she knew where I was…and all I could do was run to my car to get home as soon as I could. From there it’s a blur…a long car ride from NC to NY. The arrangements. The funeral home. The droves of people I didn’t know, but who all knew him, overflowing the room. The pain has lessened, resorted to a memory. For the most part I remember the love, the good things, the joy. But on this day every year the pain comes back to the forefront. The pain seems so much stronger now that Grandma has gone to join him. Refreshed and renewed now, they are together forever, but they will always be here in our hearts. We love you still, and will always love you, Grampa. Read more »


by Sarah Cass

Multi-published author. Mom of 3 special needs kids. Wife to 1 good man.
Redefining Perfect every day.


Top Ten Tuesday – Haunted Locations I Want To Visit

Fracture
*This site is monetized. Any links in this post are likely to be affiliates.
Top 10 Haunted Locations

I’m a total ghost geek. I admit it. Have been for…wow, at least since middle school. I believe in ghosts, I believe I’ve seen several. Also, I DREAM of being able to go to a haunted location. Even my hubby, who doesn’t believe in ghosts, has talked of taking me to one just because I want to go SO.BAD. So this top ten list – wasn’t easy. Narrowing it down to only 10 locations, but I did. There is no particular order in place here, because there isn’t one I’d want to go to more than another. I want to see them all-fully equipped with cameras, evp recorders, and video. Yeah, totally obsessed. 10. The Bird Cage Theater – Tombstone, Arizona. So much life, and death, passed through here and the tales of hauntings are pretty long standing. 9. The Stanley Hotel – Estes Park, CO. I wouldn’t be a ghost geek if I didn’t want to go to this one. 8. Myrtles Plantation – Francisville, LA. A ghost that shows up in lots of pictures?  Uh, yes please. 7. Whaley House – San Diego, CA. Rumors of a man (Yankee Jim), a woman, a small child, and even a small dog have been reported haunting this home for years. It was declared the most haunted house in the US by the Travel Channel. 6. Eastern State Penitentiary – Philadelphia, PA. Gives me the shivers just thinking about going…but that wouldn’t stop me. 5. Villisca Ax Murder House – Villisca, IA. Hundreds of years later the mystery of this house remains. It would be interesting to see what you could find there. 4. Lincoln Square Theater – Decature, IL. Evidence abounds out of this theater. I’d love to add to the stockpile. 3. Winchester Mystery House – San Jose, CA. Another one where I wouldn’t be a ghost geek if I didn’t want to go. 2. Lemp Mansion – St. Louis, MO. I was right near this one a couple of years back. Unfortunately, I was there on a mostly planned weekend and didn’t have time to get to the Lemp Mansion, but next time I go to St. Louis, I AM going to Lemp. 1. Waverly Hills Sanitorium – Louisville, KY. ‘Nuff said. ~The two most likely to happen are the Lemp Mansion and Waverly Hills, because those are within close driving distance. We’ve also talked about doing Waverly Hills since they have a way to sign up and do it.  It might yet happen… ~One house is notably absent, and I have many many reasons for it. That’s the Lizzie Borden House. I couldn’t add it to the list for personal reasons. ~Also not on the list are any places from Salem, MA or Gettysburg because…well, there isn’t any ONE place in those towns I could choose over another. I would want to go an experience the whole towns…so it didn’t feel right to add whole towns to the list. And that’s my list and caveats. What about you? Are you a ghost geek?  Tell me I’m not alone!!   Read more »


by Sarah Cass

Multi-published author. Mom of 3 special needs kids. Wife to 1 good man.
Redefining Perfect every day.


Growth

Fracture
*This site is monetized. Any links in this post are likely to be affiliates.
_MG_2326

I suck at resolutions. I really do. I’ve tried making them publicly, here on this blog, to have accountability and a place for public shaming if I fail. Doesn’t matter. I always drop them fast. Supah fast. So now when a new year comes along I don’t make big resolutions. This year, though, as I’m laid up after foot surgery, I’ve had time to reflect. 2013 saw a great many humongous highs. It also saw some dark and despairing lows. It turned into an unexpected year of flux. The last half of the year, especially, was a struggle in many ways. Now there’s a new year to face. I’m thinking the idea of picking a word for the year is appropriate. I’m going to call my word for this year at Growth. In every aspect I hope to grow. Personal. Blog-wise. Professionally with my writing. So here’s to growth. With as few growing “pains” as possible. Read more »


by Sarah Cass

Multi-published author. Mom of 3 special needs kids. Wife to 1 good man.
Redefining Perfect every day.