One foot in Front of the Other

Fracture
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zest

The past two weeks have been overwhelming. It’s been one thing after another. Denver got sick. My dad’s Parkinson’s has reared its ugly head something fierce. Denver’s teenage life blew up into all sorts of drama. Husband had some big decisions to make at work, and the end result was the exact opposite that we’d been hoping for over the past few years. I think my head might have exploded at one point. I’ve been short tempered. I’ve slept too much to cope. I haven’t eaten enough. I’ve only eaten crap. I haven’t written a word. But I’m still here. I’m hoping this is the other side of hell week(s). I’m putting one foot in front of the other. Trying not to make a sound. Trying to remember that positive side of me and find that silver lining. Trying to not reawaken the dragon. Because life doesn’t wait for you to cross the tight rope. It keeps going on. And so will I.   Read more »


by Sarah Cass

Multi-published author. Mom of 3 special needs kids. Wife to 1 good man.
Redefining Perfect every day.


Overwhelmed

Fracture
*This site is monetized. Any links in this post are likely to be affiliates.
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There are minutes. Hours. Days. When it’s all too much. When everything hits at once and I just want to collapse. Cry. Crawl in a hole. Run. One child with autism – now on ADHD meds. Two with CF. One of those that’s currently ill – and facing possible hospitalization for the second time in a year. One of those that also has behavioral issues that make me wonder just how to handle it all with her. A dad with Parkinson’s…which is rapidly growing worse. A mom I want to help, but am clueless as to how. A brother I haven’t spoken to in 2 years, with whom I’m now making baby steps to repair that relationship. Finances. A new job I never wanted, but needed to get. A surgery to “Fix” a problem…that didn’t work at all, and might have made it worse. The list goes on. And on. And I forget how to breathe. I forget which way is up. But I move on. I continue on every day as I have every day. Eventually I remember how to breathe. My brain remembers how to process. I find solid ground again. Today I’m upside down. Tonight sleep won’t be easy. But maybe tomorrow… Tomorrow will be better. Read more »


by Sarah Cass

Multi-published author. Mom of 3 special needs kids. Wife to 1 good man.
Redefining Perfect every day.


Every Day I Wake Up Afraid – Pour Your Heart Out

Fracture
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Name Here

Every day I wake up, and my first thought is of my kids. My first emotion is fear. Will today be the day Kennedy gets sick? Maybe sick enough for the hospital? Will today be the day Molly has a breakdown? Will I need to go to school because she isn’t manageable? Will today be the day Denver ends up in the hospital…again? Every parent has fears and worries, and mine aren’t “worse” – they’re just different. But they’re real. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t suffer through the torments of worry. Whether through  a passing thought, or an entire run through of possible calamity. Whether for one child, or another, or even all. Whether triggered by a cough, or a teacher email, or just my overall sense of awareness. It’s always there, lurking, leering, waiting to pounce. Every day I wake up afraid. Every day I shove the fear aside and face the day. I don’t have a choice, and I don’t want one.  So long as I can push the fear aside I will.  It’s a defense mechanism. Preparing me for the worst, so the every day can feel better for me. So I can see the bright side when things look horrifically dark.  So when the worst does happen, I am prepared. I am ready for the hospital check in. I am ready for the teacher meeting. I am ready for the specialist appointment. I’ll embrace the daily fear, as long as I can continue to see the daily joy. *~* Written for Things I can’t Say’s Pour Your Heart Out Read more »


by Sarah Cass

Multi-published author. Mom of 3 special needs kids. Wife to 1 good man.
Redefining Perfect every day.