We got one of the two SSI decisions in today’s mail. The government has decided that my daughter is disabled…but not enough to receive assistance. She sees 5 specialists, can’t eat properly, and receives regular speech, physical, and occcupational therapy…but she isn’t disabled enough for us to get assistance for her. I was blown away. I am also broken hearted. I swore that if they turned her down, I would fight it, appeal it…but we can’t afford to wait. It took them five months to come to THIS conclusion. We have gone through every last penny of savings…we do not have the money to go through a lengthy appeals process. They won. I feel completely defeated. I have to go get a job…so that we can pay our bills.

I expect Molly’s decision any day now…and my optimism is gone. The eternal optimist is no longer.

I never thought I would feel this defeated this early on.