For the past ten years we have perpetuated the myth of the man.  We have struggled and scrimped and saved to continue the tale of a jolly elf.  We have gone without gifts to ensure that Brandon had lots of gifts from us and Santa.  Last year our budget for all three kids was $500…I won’t say how overbudget we went…but our tree was overflowing.  We had disasterous pictures with the man in red.  We had a blowout of Christmases like we’d never had before. 

For the past two years I’ve doubted that Brandon still believed…but the Christmases got bigger as if to reassure him that it was.  I’ve continued to push and perpetuate the myth. 

I spoke a few weeks ago about our plan to simplify Christmas this year.  That we decided that just because we COULD have a big Christmas didn’t mean that we should.  I was nervous about confronting this fact with Brandon.  How would he react, and what would he say? 

Over the weekend at our family dinner we discussed the matter.  Brandon took it with ease.  He admitted that it had been “a while” since he really believed in Santa.  He has started thinking of appropriate charities to choose for his donation.

And now as I sit here watching the toddlers race around the room I’ve realized something.  This year we will see the the death of Santa…the commercialized version.  Our girls won’t learn of Santa in the way Brandon did.  When we teach them about Santa – they’ll learn of thim being the essence of the holiday spirit.  The spirit of giving, not the spirit of hoarding and gathering.  Here, in this house, his image will represent something different than he ever has before. 

Christmas will be about me fililng the house with the smell of hundreds (yes, I do mean that-last year I made 50+ dozen…and we ate them all) of fresh baked cookies.  Of preparing a care package for a soldier (our family charitable effort).  Of making homemade gifts for family and each other, and spending very little on ourselves.  Of donating to a worthy cause as individuals and a family.*

So this year the man in red will be put to rest as he’s been known.  And I’m okay with that.  I hope that the commercial santa rests in peace.  Around here I think our softer version of Santa is a far sight nicer.