Last year I was afraid to try again.
Five months ago I took the leap.
Four months ago I was afraid to hope, but felt it creeping in.
Today was the big day. Technically it was the FIRST of TWO big days. We met with the Developmental Pediatrician. It was a scant hope, but it was my last ditch effort. The final specialist in a long line of specialists and the last thread of hope in a dim and dismal heart.
I got up and the crack-of-dawn o’clock and hopped in the shower. I got the girls dressed (In-Laws were sick so the 1 child at a time ruling had to be abandoned), fed and in the car. Along the way I stopped and used my gift card from the Moms Marbles twitter party last month (thanks, ladies I loved my mocha!!) at Starbucks and we headed up to the North Side of the city. We arrived perfectly on time and headed back for Riley’s appointment at the exact time we were supposed to be in.
And we waited. and waited. and waited. 30 minutes later the nurse popped in to tell us the doctor had gone to the wrong office. So we waited another 30 minutes and the doctor showed up.
It was worth the wait. It was worth the 4 months it took to get into her office to even see her. It was worth the hour wait. Why?
For an hour and a half – a FULL 90 minutes – she sat in that room. She never left. She sat there. She listened. She talked. She HEARD me. After years of frustration and fears…to be HEARD…that is the most joyous part of it.
She looked over Riley – took a full history asked many many questions – questions not even I could remember the answers to.
We have confirmations, we have suggestions…we are feeling hope.
I go back on Monday with Angel. At that point the doctor will give me a list of items from today’s visit where she’ll write down EVERYTHING we discussed today. Suggestions for therapies, help for insurance/assistance, suggestions and numbers for groups not just to support Riley (and Angel when it’s her turn) – but to help US cope. The adults.
Do we now have all the answers? Heavens, no. But this doctor is helping us define a path. For each girl, individually. She is listening to us.
And that…that is the most wonderful thing in the world.
I’m so glad that it went so well! It’s wonderful to find a specialist who actually sits and listens to you, who is on your side.