Last week I had another first.

I entered Changing Tracks into its first contest.

After I hit send I wandered around the website for the contest.  Then I panicked.  I had known from the start that this particular contest gives ms feedback to all of its entries.  At least, I had read it.  It didn’t really hit me until after.

I think it was seeing the form that they use for feedback that did it.  Looking at all the areas the scant 35 pages they are seeing will be judged.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve known all along that the ms would be judged.  Not just in this contest, but by every single agent that receives a partial.

There is something about having every little detail laid out in front of you in black and white that makes you start to panic.  Seriously. Palms sweating, mind racing, ‘what did I just do’ panic.

I calmed down. I moved on.  I’ve continued editing and fine tuning.  I’ve completely changed my query (this time getting NO feedback on it and ending up w/ a partial request.).  I’ve kept querying.  I’ve made plans to enter it in another contest.  In fact, that one does not give feedback to every entry, but it takes the full manuscript.

In two months time I’ll know one way or another, because both contests have said that they’ll notify finalists by September.

I’ve got nothing to lose by entering. If I’m not a finalist nothing is lost.  If I am, a ton is gained.

Once I have them sent off, though…I have the same issue I do with all of this querying.

Putting it from my mind.

I’m SO bad at that.