I’ve never done well with change.

I like to know what’s going on, and unknowns really get under my skin.

But life is about change. Growing. Accepting. Living.

All of my kids are in school now.  Only half day for one, but she’s my baby and by this time next year it will be full days of quiet.

The quiet time is nice. I get more done.  Not all day every day. But more.

This week has been a week of sticking my neck out.

I put in a job application.  It’s for a job I really, really want.  It’s so close to home I could walk to work (nice weather permitting). The hours are excellent. It’s in a library. And me and books?  Well, we get along so well. Thing is, I haven’t had a job in about five years.  Part of me doesn’t want to go back to work.  Another part of me is excited at the thought. A bigger part of me knows that me NOT working is no longer an option. I have to.

I submitted some writing to several places. Hoping it gets accepted and printed. It’s not a lot, but I’m trying to get myself to where I write more than long novels and try to get my name out there.

My oldest is a teen. He’s asking for facebook. Looking at girls. He’s already had his first heartbreak.

The girls are getting bigger. Expanding their circle of knowledge and friends. It’s led to some difficult situations, some behavioral problems. But they are changing every day.

I’ve started going to PTO meetings. Me? I’m not a PTO mom.  I never have been. I just think that I need to be now.

In this fall season it feels like things are in a state of flux.  Changing and shifting before I’ve given them permission. Our days are full and it’s so difficult to sit down and absorb anything.

Just for a little while I’d like to sit back and watch the colors change.