My relationship with my family has had its ups and downs. In the most recent years its been strained, to say the least.
Two years ago(ish), I cut off all contact with my brother.
All of it.
No holidays. No visits. No phone calls.
I was done.
No nephew time (and I adore my nephews).
No sis-in-law time.
Because I was hurt. The hurt was inflicted during a time I was very scared, and so it was magnified into a great pain.
One I haven’t fully recovered from, mostly because it has not been dealt with. I haven’t told my brother why.
But several weeks ago a crisis arose.
My dad’s Parkinson’s took a left turn and the world sort of turned on its head for all of us.
It brought us all together again. My brother, my parents and I all sat under the same roof to deal with the situation and where to go next.
Sometimes it takes a crisis to get over your own stubbornness, your own pride, your own pain. In those moments, all of that is forgotten in the adrenaline rush, the fear, and the chaos. Those are the rough moments, but they’re also the moments of clarity. The moments when what’s really important comes out.
Suddenly we are talking. Phone calls are being made. Family outings are being planned.
We’re taking baby steps, and I still have to sit down with my brother and explain how the rift started, how I was hurt. Our lives have been too chaotic for a good heart-to-heart.
But we’re making pathways.
Moving forward.
I feel a long-taut string loosening. One I hadn’t realized was stretched so thin.
Maybe someday soon the family will be whole again.
*~*
Written for Things I can’t Say’s Pour Your Heart Out
Sorry for what your family is going through. Good for you for making strides to heal the relationship with your brother. I hope it works!
I have a similar situation with my family. And it scares me to think that it will be something tragic that brings us back together. I hope this time holds healing for you and your brother.
Oh I can relate! It’s encouraging to hear that your family is trying to move forward and come together in crisis. My family is broken. I have had no contact with a couple siblings and no contact with either of my parents in over a year. I never thought I’d be this person. One who cuts ties with family. It’s hard.
Family hurts are the hardest. My dad and I didn’t talk for about 3 years. My son was born in that time and it hurt me so much. Things are MUCH better now. I wish you all the best.