I have about 5 posts sitting as drafts in my wordpress from the past two weeks. They are reflections on the depression I’ve been in. The despair I’ve felt as crap-storm after crap-storm hit us from all directions.

Leaking drains.

Lying doctors.

Stupid cars.

The brutality of the flu.

One thing after another.

After another.

After another.

Much of my facebook feed has been filled with the same.

I do not often fall into the pit of depression, but I sure did this time.

It’s been tough, and painful, and I am still not all the way out of it.

And I know it is nowhere near what others go through every single day of their lives (those like my husband), but that makes it no less valid.

However, little changes are happening, and big changes, too.

In the depths of this all I went out without knowing where I was going.

A little voice in the back of my mind was telling me to hop a plane anywhere.

Another little voice pointed out a less expensive option, and the tattoo parlor in my path. And thus, I got my feather. A symbol of a lot – of freedom, strength, dreams of flying away, and perhaps even a nod to my upcoming book series.

A couple of days later I got a surprise package in the mail filled with my favorite candies from Canada (thank goodness my childhood friend found me on facebook a few years back. 🙂 ).

There are still struggles abounding. Still construction that needs to be done.

But I am trying to claw my way back out.

I cleave to the moments of good.

The tokens of happy.

I’m trying to find the upside of down.

*Random Note – after I wrote down the title of this post it hit me…I once did a musical by that name. In musical I think. Can’t find any evidence of it on google…but damn, isn’t weird how those things hit you at weird times!