I have always hated change.

Changes, much like social situations, make me nervous.

Looking back, it seems weird to be so uncomfortable with change, considering how much I faced it in my youth.  We moved many times in my life.  When I was 8, 13 (halfway across country), at 20 I moved halfway across the country again for school, then had a baby and moved to another state again, and six months later we moved again, then two years later we moved again.  (Hey, have I  mentioned my dad is a nomad? Yeah…)

Somehow as an adult with three kids, a husband, a cat and a dog, I’ve turned into a hermit that fears change.

I’m kind of sick of it.  I’m sick of accepting toxicity because my social anxiety keeps me hidden. I’m tired of accepting a job I hate and shoddy treatment because where else will I go? I’m sick of being afraid.

You might have seen me mention a few times around here (or if you’re new, here’s your intro), but 2016 SUCKED. HARD. It was an awful year full of bad things, bad vibes, and a drop (for me) into depression I couldn’t shake for the first time in my life.

By accepting where I was, and making active moves toward changes, 2017 has turned into the year I begin reaching for change.

And I don’t just mean my bucket list (which we will visit soon enough)…I mean change.

I quit my job. Without a backup. It’s led to some hard financial times…but now has blossomed into better things. First, I am not completely miserable. Second, I am starting a new job on Monday that is WAY outside of my banking comfort zone. I was sick of banking, sick of my lazy boss that blamed me for his ignorance. I’m going into a completely new field (on Monday!), and to be honest, it’s a lot-bit scary…but in the best way. I’m going to be learning things I’ve never thought I would, doing things I never thought I would.  It’s going to be an intense, high-pressure job, and it’s only going to be 2-3 days/week.

I’m finding [easyazon_link identifier=”075731984X” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Oola[/easyazon_link].  Oola, in case you didn’t know, is a method of finding balance in the key 7 areas of your life to create the sense of happiness…the “oolala” sort of life. I got a copy of it free via netgalley (the Oola for Women book)…and have since bought a print copy for myself, and a print copy of the original [easyazon_link identifier=”0757319971″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Oola[/easyazon_link] book for my hubby.  We are examining our wheels, and making plans for changes. Big changes.

I brought my youngest home to “homeschool” (online school). That was a huge step for me, because I treasure my alone time during the day.  We’re several months in and we’re still adjusting. Some days she insists she wants to go back to brick and mortar. Some days I want nothing more than to ship her back to brick and mortar.  Other days, it’s pretty darn awesome.  We’re finding a groove, and making it. We’ll revisit where we’re at once summer comes, but we’re in it to win it right now.

Nowadays I’m looking forward to the changes coming. 2017 saw me taking charge to come out of my depression and face life again. If I were the type that chose words to represent a year, this year would be growth. 2018’s, I expect, will be change. I’ve got a lot of plans for writing, a lot of plans for changing the way our family lives, a lot of plans to head toward our biggest goal/change of all…our big move to Florida.

It’s a huge mind-set change to me, a big challenge…but I’m going for it. I’m going to welcome change, and embrace it like a new friend. It’s high time I remember how exciting it can be.