We all know the phrase. We use it all the time when we have little ones, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

I think it goes farther than that – It takes a village…period.

We ALL need a village…or a tribe…we need people.

We need each other.

So why do we resist our village when they rise to help us?

I have a friend, a good friend, who has come to mean a lot to me in the past couple of years. Six months ago they moved many miles so her husband could take a very exciting job that suited him perfectly.  After years of being self-employed, they would have regular checks coming in…and he would be doing a job that was pretty darn amazing.

He is now one of the hundreds of thousands of workers furloughed because of the shutdown over the asinine wall.

We’ve had a lot of talks over the past month as she’s grappled with the existence.  I made a comment to her that she should put it out there to ask for help from those she’s helped and taught. She’s resisted, and resisted, stating they’re okay right now.

When I went to send her money for an item I’d purchased, I sent her extra.

“What did you do?” Was her response, “You’re saving for Florida!”  I reassured her we’d talked about it and were fine with our decision…and she relented and we continued our discussion…and it struck me hard.

It’s long been proven in so many studies and just general truth…we are STRONGER in a community. When we rely on each other.

So why do resist?

We often are afraid to ask, or we feel like a failure or inadequate, so we are too embarrassed to ask.

It also doesn’t help that in today’s society we are full of Judgy McJudgersons ready to tell us how we should have been prepared, we should have done this, or done that…who are super eager to sit behind the anonymity of their computer screens and tell us why you should do it YOURSELF…

But you can’t. Not always.

Friendship is about love and caring and support.

The next time you see someone you know struggling…

Be their village. Not their judge and jury.

Be their village.

They’re going to resist. So stick with something small. A silly card, something you know they’ve wanted off the wall, or just sitting with them and letting them vent without commisserating (i.e. telling them your story of woe to match).

Remember, in a village, it’s not always about YOU. Sometimes it’s about them.

Be their village.

Because one day, you’re gonna need them to be yours.