Raising kids today is hard.

Not saying that raising us was any easier. Every generation had their own woes, I suppose…but I am digressing.

Raising kids today is hard.

They have so much to deal with that we didn’t. I mean, sure they’ve got opportunities and things that we never did, but they have a lot to deal with…including a big scary world that isn’t as understanding of all of the changes in the world and people around us.

You see it everywhere these days.  Not to get political, but the climate is HOSTILE. I can get panic attacks just going on Facebook some days.

My biggest thing in raising my kids is I want to be their safe place to land.

I want them to be happy.

If they want to tell me they decided they don’t want to go to college, okay fine.  Or they do want to go to college. Great.

My big thing has always been – I want them happy. They can chase that dream wherever they want to let it take them.

I’ve expressed this to them over and over.

But as they get older the situations get more complex.

More grown up.

Less, “Okay, if you don’t like Clawdeen any longer, that’s fine. She’s still my favorite character.”

More, “I don’t care what your sexual orientation or gender, I will love and support you.”

It’s been a weird switch for me, as my ‘talk’ was a very uncomfortable and embarrassing affair. I don’t want to repeat that with my kids.

So, when one of them came to me and said, “Hey mom, Kendra* said she’s pansexual. She’s kind of afraid to tell her parents.” I didn’t even have to school my reaction, but I did have to ask, “Do you know what that means?”

Which led to a big discussion over Pan/Trans/Bi/etc. A discussion that I didn’t mind having, and had actually very recently had at work because we had a non-binary patient and the nurse “didn’t get it.”

My girls and I had a long talk that day, very casual and comfortable about all of the terms, what they meant, what they comfortably understood. I had to tell my girls that I totally understood why Kendra didn’t want to tell her parents yet – I knew them and I knew it would be a struggle for them to understand and accept. That she could let her know she was always welcome at our home, and that I knew who in her family would also be accepting in the worst case scenario.

Out of all of it I hope that they understood that I truly only want them to be happy, comfortable, and safe.

I hope that they know I will always be a safe place to land. That I never want them to have to feel the need to keep anything like that from me.

We’re working on having an open, comfortable communication on the subject. They’re still teenagers, they still have their pushback…but in the end, as long as they know we’re good no matter what the challenge, then I feel better.

Raising kids is hard.

Raising smart, intelligent, kind adults is the right thing to do. That’s my goal here. To see them happy, and comfortable in this ever changing world.

*Name changed to protect the child, who has still not come out to her parents. It’s a big step and I wish her the best.