This is just a portion of THE PILE.
Books that I’m reading. Are in line to be read. Or I just finished reading.
I’ve set a goal this year to read more.
I made the same goal last year, and did very well for the first couple of months.
And then I gave up. I focused on my writing – and writing I did. For months I wrote so much my husband missed me. My bed missed me. I’m pretty sure my kids missed me. Hundreds of thousands of words.
It frustrated me that I gave up reading. I mean, how often are you told that if you want to write, you have to READ. That you can’t improve your craft if you aren’t reading what you can to build on your skills and see what others have done. Learn new techniques. See what you like, what you don’t like. Learn to incorporate it into your craft.
Now I’m reading again. Knee deep in about 4 books. I’ve finished one. I’m getting through what I can in my *ahem* “spare time” (who has THAT?). I’m trying to schedule reading time into every day I can. Instead of playing Soduko on my Nook when I take a bath – I’m actually using it to read. (I am NOT fighing w/ my husband over it yet…as when he uses it I can get an actual paper book, and vice versa. We’re behaving for the moment)
Now I’m starting to remember why I quit.
The deep frustration that seeps into the pleasure I’m supposed to take in reading.
The deep, abiding love that I always had for reading starts to seem like a memory.
Because I can’t turn off my inner editor.
Although, that little monster of a creature is child’s play compared to the other, larger monster that really threatens my love of reading. My pure enjoyment and escape.
The inner editor is a tiny little mosquito just buzzing gently in my ear as I get through the book.
The real monster? The Godzilla that could stomp out the mosquito, but instead feeds it until it gets bigger.
I guess you could call him jealousy.
I read these books.
My inner editor buzzes.
And Godzilla feeds him, helping him grow HUGE.
Pointing out that the little error he’s about to ignore is the reason an editor turned down my own book. Or that this it’s a primary “RULE” out there that no writer should EVER break – but it’s in this novel…and this novel is published. And selling.
It makes me frustrated. Over things that I KNOW I shouldn’t be letting myself get in a snit over.
It makes me want to just stop before I get REALLY upset and just get back to writing 2,000-7,000 words a day.
Because it’s SO much easier than “Trying to learn” from people that have made it through the hell of getting a book published…only to find errors that you’ve been told at every turn is WRONG WRONG WRONG.
It’s also very difficult to just enjoy a book this way.
Which is something I miss.
A lot.
I agree, it can be very tough. Since I review books, it’s even harder to turn off that internal editor.
You’ve got a lot written, which is more than others have done, so be proud of that accomplishment. I can’t say I’m a very jealous writer, so I don’t have much advice for you in that regard, but again, you’ve been submitting to places, and though rejections have come out that, you’re doing more than many others in your place have done. Some people write for a long time, but fear of rejection keeps them from taking the next step. That’s not true for you.
You know what might be a good idea is not to keep writing more. Focus on blogging a bit, and then read up about marketing and get more savvy in this area. It will certainly be helpful when pitching to an editor if you have a rough marketing plan put together.
Keep your chin up!
Cheryl
@Cheryl Malandrinos,
Thanks, Cheryl 🙂
I have gotten a lot written. In the past couple of years, I’ve really got into it more and more.
I don’t think I could ever stop, though. The past four months, while they were a much needed break, were still difficult for me. While I have so much going on in my life that I have little time for writing these days, it still excites me and stirs me and drives me.
I’ve been focusing on blogging – just not here *lol* My primary blog gets much of my love and attention. I’m working on this place, but I’m going slow (obviously)
Right now most of the writing I do isn’t publishable stuff, it’s fluff to get me back into the groove. I’ve made myself a commitment to complete the series that I spent several months last year pitching. I never finished the third book before my ‘vacation’.
After that, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I have thoughts of improving the first book, and tightening it and fixing it before I venture out into the other tons of agents and publishers I can pitch to. I really barely scratched the surface.
Or, I may start looking at one of my other ideas. It’s a ways off. I’m still getting back into my writing groove…and still desperately searching for more hours in the day in which to fit it into.
Oh, I’ve been there with the editor. Usually when I’m editing my own work or somebody else’s is when I stop reading for pleasure temporarily. Luckily, I always seem to be able to come back to it. You’re right, it is a pleasure and an escape, but maddening as hell when you can’t get either of those things out of it.
Good luck.
-V