by Sarah | Nov 16, 2011 | All About Me, Crap, Random, WTF?
[flickr id=”6030468849″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]A few weeks ago I posted about the debate we were going through. Should I work? Or not?
We weighed all the options. Debated what we would gain, what we would lose. There were negatives, for sure. There were fears about me actually getting back to work – and the possibility of hospital visits happening with the kids.
We thought of everything. We were certain of that.
So when I saw the position at the library I leaped at it. I WANTED it. I took it without thinking about hours. There was panic about being able to find childcare to cover my hours. There’s been a lot of me missing just being home for and with my family.
In the end, though…I’ve loved the job. There are SLOW days for sure…and days so busy my mind is just spinning with everything that needs to be done. While I’ve missed home, missed my family – I liked being out in public again. Having a reason to get dressed and put on makeup. Contributing to my family’s budget (not that I’ve seen a paycheck yet).
So yesterday as I was filling out paperwork for our all important magical insurance (that covers all things CF – especially the things that our stupid regular insurance does not – like $2500 meds) the realization hit me.
We didn’t think of everything.
I was forced into the realization that less than 2 full weeks into my job – I have to quit.
In the end my ‘extra’ income will hurt us far more than it will help us.
I spent yesterday a wreck. I had minor panic attacks all day.
My wonderful Archie when I was sobbing about how I liked the thought of contributing to the house, and that I felt good to be helping him with the “breadwinner” stress…told me that I contributed to the house by BEING here and making neat and calm and comfortable for his OCD-rattled brain after work. He soothed my stresses about our current financial status and how this was supposed to help.
In my panic and sadness over leaving a job I love he was my rock.
So thank you, Archie.
Even if I know you only love me for regularly clean sheets and floors (over the sporadic cleaning since I started work) 😉
by Sarah | Nov 15, 2011 | All About Home, Crap, Random
[flickr id=”6348904912″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]On my fridge I have a list. It has 9 cleaning products on it and how I make them. I plan on adding more as I find them.
I’d like to say I do this for a noble cause.
Because it’s better for the earth. Safer for my kids. They clean better.
All of those reasons ARE true.
But the main reason I started was money.
These suckers are a lot cheaper in the long run.
The last item I’ve added to my revenue was laundry detergent.
My husband was skeptical all along. On some days he still is. In the end? I keep doing it because they work. Because I’m not spending scads of dollars every week buying MORE cleaning supplies that are harsh on my nose and eyes and hands.
Now if only I could find a great toilet cleaner I’d be a very happy woman.
***
In a couple of days I’ll go into more detail about a few of them. Mainly the laundry detergent (the saver of my HE washer) and my all purpose cleaners.
by Sarah | Nov 14, 2011 | Photography
I LOVED my prompt this week. I love it every time I get this prompt anywhere.
Just call me Beavis…
“hehehehehehe…FIRE! Hehehe…FIRE!FIRE!FIRE!”
.
[flickr id=”6346615078″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”center”]
Like I said…I love this prompt. Here’s a few others from my photo stream that are fitting…
[flickr id=”6345865037″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”6345864951″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”6248354478″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”6247831533″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]
For this week, Chris Hughes challenged me with “Fire” and I challenged Maren with “Humor.”
by Sarah | Nov 13, 2011 | All About Me, Crap, Random
[flickr id=”6271416484″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]When it is cold and dark outside.
You seek the warmth.
When things seem the darkest.
You look for the light.
Some days the struggle blinds you to the light.
Right now I am stressed.
The new job cuts into my week. I have things to learn and my mind is racing while I’m there with making sure I get things done right. There wasn’t a learning curve so much as sink or swim. I had basic training and was out there. It’s how I like to learn, but it can be overwhelming.
I’m getting over a cold while Angel is getting one (always a panic button issue).
We are still without an official permanent sitter for the kids with my new job. While we’re managing to wiggle through now w/ hubby taking a late lunch daily to watch the kids until Brandon comes home, my in-laws are watching on Fridays until they go down South and my Dad has offered to watch after that for ‘a while’…we need something permanent and set. If Middle School didn’t run a full hour later than elementary (or it was the other way around) we’d be fine. No such luck, though.
We had meetings with Riley’s school several times the past few weeks. Things were not good. We were not happy. Steps have been taken to make things better, but I’m still not completely happy. We’ll see how the next months go along.
Christmas is coming and we are not ready for it. Finances are tight. The new job has started, but we’ve yet to see the fruit of my labor there. We feel like we’re gasping for air, and floundering.
I am always the one that sees the silver lining, but I feel like I haven’t had time lately. For once I’ve been the negative Nellie, tense and short tempered. I know it’s still adjusting to the new job. To the shift in my schedule and my families.
I just want to feel like me again.
by Sarah | Nov 13, 2011 | Challenge, Escaping Humanity, Writing
The Saga Continues. Since we alternate every week, you start at Mary’s site with Chapter 5 of “Escaping Humanity” – then come back here and read Chapter 6!!!
For those that have missed this from the beginning, you can find the complete story description and chapter listing HERE.
*~*~*~*
James led Annie down the hall quick as he could. The sooner he could pass her off, the sooner he could go let off some steam. Something about being near this woman was making his already taut nerves shatter.
For her part, Annie was still laughing under her breath. Apparently tension made her giddy. Either that or she was cracking under the pressure. Around here it wasn’t an uncommon event.
“Here we are,” he pushed open Warren’s office door. The brief relief he’d felt flew away at the empty space inside. “Dammit.”
“What?” Annie followed him in, a soft gasp interrupting the smile she’d still been sporting. “Oh my.”
James left the door open while she scanned the wall of monitors in Warren’s office. Just as he was about to grab his cell to text him, it buzzed with an incoming text.
Something came up. Be there soon as we can.
“Damn.” He shoved the phone back in his pocket, “Cyber’s been delayed. Have a seat. We’ll wait here.”
She took a seat, then looked up at him, “Are we going to sit in sullen silence? Or do you want to tell me about this telethon?”
“You don’t remember that either?”
“I told you. I don’t remember anything before the battle.”
James sighed, “Fine. The telethon. It was supposed to be to raise money and awareness as to what mutants really were. To help those hurt by the military, and their families. It was all my Mom’s idea.”
*~*
Five Years Earlier (2018)
“No. I don’t want this to be a parade or a freak show for the viewing public’s fun and pleasure.” Talisa slammed down her clipboard, “We aren’t a circus side show. This is serious. Any day now they could launch an all out attack.”
Roark walked up behind her and rubbed her shoulders, “I agree, Li – but we also have to make some bit of a show. There has to be at least a few mutants that have physical abnormalities. Everyone that we use has volunteered for it. They know what they’re getting into.”
James’ hands clenched together and his low growl rumbled through the room, “This whole thing is a freak show! Why don’t we just fight already? I’m sick of the subterfuge. You’ve got Cyber running so many pathways for this thing the entire country is wired for battle! I’m sick of hiding!”
“James,” Talisa’s voice switched in a flash. The frustration melting into concern and warmth he knew she reserved for all of her kids. Her hand smoothed along his head before rubbing his back, “If we go to an all out war, the destruction could be extreme. Right now our best defense is counteracting the propaganda. This telethon will take a large leap in that direction.”
“We’re taking every precaution to make sure that everything about this telethon is safe.” Roark didn’t approach, but his concern was laced into the warmth of his voice. Underneath it he was as tense as James, and James knew it. “Cyber is running all the interference necessary, making everything unhackable by even the best military minds. There are p.o. boxes all over the country in the offices where our best mutants are working. If this fails, you may just get your wish.”
“It’s not a wish,” Talisa snapped. “We don’t want a war. It would be too vast, too huge. So many innocent lives, both human and mutant, would be lost. I like a good fight as much as either of you, but I don’t want an all out war.”
“No one does,” Roark sighed.
“It’s going to happen.” James shrugged off Talisa’s hand and stood up. “Don’t delude yourselves into thinking this freak show is going to do anything but make them angrier. Make them hunt us down even harder. I’m supposed to be protecting our people!”
“And you do protect them.” Talisa frowned, “But we have to do whatever we can. Make people know what we are. How we were created.”
“Look at everyone here, James.” Roark pointed outside the windows of the office they were in. The crew was setting up for the first hour of the telethon. Both humans and mutants greeted each other like old friends. Some were starting to take their seats behind the phones. Others were showing off their mutations to each other. “They all have hope for something better. We need to foster the hope, not the fear.”
“You’ve turned into such a weak old man,” James snarled. “I remember when you both used to fight first and bother with science later.”
The sharp sting at the back of his head was the only warning before Talisa had him pinned on the floor. Her own snarl was deep and harsh. Pressure drove into his trachea, cutting off his air supply, “We lost a lot of good people that way. I almost didn’t live the last time we tried it that way. If the day comes that we need to fight you know we will be there on the front lines. Right now we are doing whatever we can to keep you and your brothers and sisters alive for as long as we possibly can! You need to stop being such an angry little brat and start using the brain I created you with!”
“Li,” Roark pulled her back against him. “Let him breathe.”
James coughed once the air started returning to his lungs. “Dammit, Ma!”
Roark growled low, “Remember son. We’ve been fighting since before you were created. You have the need for battle in you, but you haven’t had to live with nearly half the consequences we have. I hope you never have to.”
“I hope I never get as weak as you two have.” James spun on his heel and slammed the door behind him.
*~*
Back to 2023
James jaw clenched, staring at his clenched fists in his lap. The consequences he’d ended up facing were far worse than he’d ever expected. Worse than his parents had ever expected. “I was right. Everything escalated after the telethon. Within a year all out war had started. Small skirmishes grew into larger battles. Then a year ago the militaries sent out the mass destruction efforts.”
“And your mom was right about the innocent lives,” Annie’s voice was soft.
“To say the least.” James straightened up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. After he sent off a quick text he hopped to his feet. “Gotta go. Cyber will be here soon.”
“Wait. What?” Her face fell and she rose to her feet, “I’m just supposed to sit and wait?”
“Something like that. I don’t care. Just know that every move you make will be watched.” James walked to the door and closed it behind him. The memory had shaken him too much; he couldn’t be around anyone like her while he dealt with it. She was a stranger. An unknown. It had to stay that way.
“That was rude, big brother.” Charlotte touched his arm. The concern in her eyes let him know how much she’d overheard, “Go on. Lynx is waiting for you in the training room. I think after that you need it. I’ll wait with Anna.”
“Annie. She wants to be called Annie.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
