Autism
They were all
Paper
Folded precise
They freed him
From the prison of his mind.
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*Apparently I’m feeling creative today. I wrote both my photo-poetry piece and my 100 words or less piece. Since this challenge is a 1-day and I have until Saturday to post my 100 words, I’m posting this now 🙂
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Please head on over HERE and check out the rest of the entries. I’m certain they’re all fun and unique!!!
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She’s cute.
She knows it.
You can be downright furious with her, and she’ll turn her head, widen those huge eyes and give you a smile that almost forces you to melt into a puddle on the spot.
It’s dangerous.
It’s adorable.
It’s nearly impossible to stay mad, to keep your face even when it’s punishment time. Countless times we’ve sent her to her room for the sole purpose of laughing our asses off once she was out of sight.
From the time she was very tiny she had it. A smile that could knock your socks off. Goofy, bright, toothless.
Even now with a scary overbite (STOP.SUCKING.YOUR.THUMB!!)…
It didn’t matter the struggles she had.
The torticollis, hypotonia, a wrenched up little body…no. None of it mattered.
The kid had big ears and a virtual multitude of ridiculous expressions at her disposal.
She danced to her own music (and still does…only now she makes up words to go with that music too).
Nothing has ever stood in her way. Not
Not even her own self.
Her anger.
Her extreme, ear-splitting, gut-wrenching screams that came from a fresh hell we’d never heard before.
Her tendency to self-injure. Banging her head into hard wood floors, the corner of door frames. Ripping open the skin of her nose.
These moments scared us, and still do even as they’ve subsided into different behaviors. The self-injuries are fewer, and our fears are slightly lessened.
But it’s always been those eyes.
The big, brown doe-eyes like none you’ve ever seen. So ‘abnormally’ large that the optometrist feared she had glaucoma (she didn’t).
Once you mix in those with the smile you forget about the fits of anger.
As she’s gotten older she’s learned how to use them. Widening them, moving the eyes in just the right way. A skill that rivals those on America’s Next Top Model. Let me tell you, Angel’s got “Smize” (You ANTM fans know what I’m talking about 😉 ).
But beyond all of this. All of the surface of my little Angel…
There is strength.
Attitude.
And strength.
With that attitude and strength she has pushed past every hurdle life has thrown at her.
When life gave her torticollis, she forced herself to sit – gaining enough strength to overcome it.
When that turned into being stuck in the ‘airplane’ reflex, she rolled over and started to crawl. Forcing her way through that.
When she was given a left side weaker than the right, and we feared/assumed she wouldn’t walk, or would walk late…she shocked us all (including her PT) by walking on time. It was always shaky, bow-legged, but it was walking.
When life gave her dysphagia, making all forms of eating difficult – she never complained. She never cried out it. She swallowed her food whole. No, not good for her in any way, but she persevered.
With a smile and a scream.
When life gave her tibial torsion on top of her hypotonia, it still didn’t stop her. She kept walking, is still walking. Pigeon-toed and as klutzy as they come (is klutziness genetic?)…but now she runs, jumps and plays like the rest of them. The orthopaedists all say it’s self-repairing, ignoring the fact that her muscles arent strong enough to fix it – but she never lets anything like physical limitations stop her.
Diagnosed with CF.
It was more of a blow to us than it was to her.
She’s been blessed to be (mostly) healthy in the 3 years since her diagnosis. She takes her medicine with a smile, a laugh. She turns it into a game, giggling and laughing, reading and sitting quietly.
One day it will come, when the struggle will be tougher for her, for us all. When she is less “mostly healthy”. When we become familiar with the pulmonary unit at the hospital.
When it does I don’t worry for her spirit.
It’s indomitable.
Angel has had, and will have, her blue days.
But she will always find a smile in it.
As she always had, she will push past this struggle.
If anyone can survive something, surpass expectations, it’s her.
No matter what life throws at her, she will persevere.
I know this, because I know her.
Strong. Creative. Spirited. Curious. Big-hearted. Friendly. Happy. Stubborn. Bright. And always just a little bit (no…a LOT) goofy.
This kid will surpass us all.
Of that I have NO doubt.
I love you Angel…even when you’re on my last nerve.
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*I have been blogging a LOT lately about Riley. Our struggles with school, her behavior from being in school, everything in between. To remind you (and us) that we have 2 other kids, I’ve decided to do a small series over the next few weeks highlighting each of the kids…starting with Angel. I apologize now for putting that song in your head – it’s in mine too 😉
For a theme this week I chose Reflections. But I didn’t want the typical mirror reflection….
With my new obsession
*It is intentionally the knife in focus…I was after my reflection, after all…not the delectable sweet goodness that is Nutella.
In the kitchen tile
With the kids
**** Head on over to check out who else is flipping out:
He was the first to ask US on a date. He included my beautiful three year old on our first date. He thought of us before he thought of me. He took us to an appropriate kid-friendly place. He talked to Brandon, he made Brandon laugh. And when dinner was over, Brandon looked at Archie and said, “Are you coming home to see Mimi and Papa?” The deal was sealed…he was special.
I held back, afraid to give up my heart. I couldn’t tell him I loved him…I was terrified of my past repeating itself. But once I was able to make that step, everything fell into place. Engaged and a wedding date planned before we’d hit the six month point. A fall wedding, as I’d dreamed.
There wasn’t a doubt…WE would be married. Not just Archie, and I…but Brandon, too. He asked Brandon permission to marry me, and he had Brandon give me the ring – sending my mother into a fit of tears. The ceremony would involve Brandon, and we’d be announced as a family.
And so we were. Our small family embarking on new territory. Making a path none of us was too sure how to follow. But we trudged ahead and forged it together.
The first year was tough as I pursued roles in Community Theater as well as marriage and mommy-hood. But from there, community theater was put on hold to focus on family.
We’ve had our struggles…financially, and emotionally. But we’re now at six years and stronger than ever.
He’s the one that’s supported me, no matter what my dream or desire. He believes in me when I’m not so sure I believe in myself. He tells me daily that I’m beautiful, or a good wife, or both. He is proud of me as his wife, and as a mother.
So Archie, thank you for eight years of wedded bliss (and miss)…our struggles made us stronger…and your love makes me better.
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*My anniversary is actually tomorrow, but as that’s the day for the Flip Side post, I’m posting this a day early. It’s mostly a re-post of one I made 2 years ago…but it’s still posted with the same heart.
Yes, this is my second WW’s post this week. These are my son’s photos. Mine can be found HERE. I know it’s double the work, but please check us both out 😀
All taken w/ Kodak EasyShare C190. For week 10/3-10/9/10
These are Brandon’s photo’s from the photo hike we went on yesterday. He got some amazing photos and all of these are SOOC!
Super Flare
End of flowering
Reflections
Spotlight
Standout
Brandon really kicks butt and takes names when it comes to taking photos. Please leave him some comments to let him know I’m not the only one that thinks so!!!.
That’s all for this week. Head on over to Lotus‘ digs to see more!!