by Sarah | Jan 1, 2020 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Redefining Perfect
I only started choosing a word for the year in 2018. “Momentum” followed by “Redefining”. They both really impacted my year.
2019 was amazing…and terrible…all at once and separately. So much happened that was so very good, but much happened that beat me up a little, or a lot.
My faith got bruised.
I got a little beat up (figuratively).
I’ve been on shaky ground and feeling very un-oola.
This new year will have me facing new challenges, just as hard or harder than the last.
I’m starting nursing school.
I’m desperately seeking a new job to replace the one that’s mistreated me so badly.
For the past month I’ve been struggling to find a word to take me through 2020, the start of a new decade and a new life.
I went through several, feeling them out for what might work. “Home”, or “Reconnect”, or even “Persevere”. Nothing felt right. I settled on Reconnect as ‘good enough’, but it felt off.
Then…
This appeared in my feed—>
TRUST.
As soon as I saw it it resonated deep inside.
I’ve lost my trust that everything would work out.
I’ve lost my trust in people.
I’ve lost my trust in myself.
It’s time to find it again.
To LIVE it again.
To quote that famous musical…”It’s time to trust my instincts, and leap.”
So hello, 2020.
Hello, trust.
by Sarah | Oct 20, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Photography, Redefining Perfect, Weekly Winners
Over the past few years, I’ve found myself apart from my camera more than with. I missed the old days of the Weekly Winners with Lotus. I recently tweeted this fact, and she brought it back, twitter style…so I’m hoping that gets me back friendly with my good old Canon. For now I’ve committed myself to once a month, but hope that one day it will become far more frequent.
This week, I’m taking you to Epcot.
But I’m not talking rides and countries and the big ball…I wanted to get into the details of Epcot. I wanted to get beyond the tourist and into the awesomeness that is Disney in the details. All of these were taken with my Samsung Galaxy S8.
And just because…one obligatory “see the ball from across the pond” picture. It was a nice day, sometimes you have to do it anyway. 😉
by Sarah | Oct 8, 2019 | All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Blogging Life, Pour Your Heart Out, Redefining Perfect
Raising kids today is hard.
Not saying that raising us was any easier. Every generation had their own woes, I suppose…but I am digressing.
Raising kids today is hard.
They have so much to deal with that we didn’t. I mean, sure they’ve got opportunities and things that we never did, but they have a lot to deal with…including a big scary world that isn’t as understanding of all of the changes in the world and people around us.
You see it everywhere these days. Not to get political, but the climate is HOSTILE. I can get panic attacks just going on Facebook some days.
My biggest thing in raising my kids is I want to be their safe place to land.
I want them to be happy.
If they want to tell me they decided they don’t want to go to college, okay fine. Or they do want to go to college. Great.
My big thing has always been – I want them happy. They can chase that dream wherever they want to let it take them.
I’ve expressed this to them over and over.
But as they get older the situations get more complex.
More grown up.
Less, “Okay, if you don’t like Clawdeen any longer, that’s fine. She’s still my favorite character.”
More, “I don’t care what your sexual orientation or gender, I will love and support you.”
It’s been a weird switch for me, as my ‘talk’ was a very uncomfortable and embarrassing affair. I don’t want to repeat that with my kids.
So, when one of them came to me and said, “Hey mom, Kendra* said she’s pansexual. She’s kind of afraid to tell her parents.” I didn’t even have to school my reaction, but I did have to ask, “Do you know what that means?”
Which led to a big discussion over Pan/Trans/Bi/etc. A discussion that I didn’t mind having, and had actually very recently had at work because we had a non-binary patient and the nurse “didn’t get it.”
My girls and I had a long talk that day, very casual and comfortable about all of the terms, what they meant, what they comfortably understood. I had to tell my girls that I totally understood why Kendra didn’t want to tell her parents yet – I knew them and I knew it would be a struggle for them to understand and accept. That she could let her know she was always welcome at our home, and that I knew who in her family would also be accepting in the worst case scenario.
Out of all of it I hope that they understood that I truly only want them to be happy, comfortable, and safe.
I hope that they know I will always be a safe place to land. That I never want them to have to feel the need to keep anything like that from me.
We’re working on having an open, comfortable communication on the subject. They’re still teenagers, they still have their pushback…but in the end, as long as they know we’re good no matter what the challenge, then I feel better.
Raising kids is hard.
Raising smart, intelligent, kind adults is the right thing to do. That’s my goal here. To see them happy, and comfortable in this ever changing world.
*Name changed to protect the child, who has still not come out to her parents. It’s a big step and I wish her the best.
by Sarah | Oct 7, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Pagan Me Happy, Personal, Redefining Perfect
Once a month I’ll be posting a new Spirit Animal*. This is both for me to study and learn, but also to help inspire each month.
This month the animal made itself known to me within moments of moving into our new home, because they are everywhere around it.
The Woodpecker.
The first visit was a folly, one in my backyard on a tree. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a woodpecker, we had them in Indiana. However, this guy was persistent. For three days he returned. Then, there were two of them hopping along a branch in the next yard. I told them I got it, you’re here for me. I will learn as I can. I haven’t seen them since, but I haven’t forgotten they showed up for me. So, I return to blogging, and my monthly totem with their powerful message(s) to me.
Opportunity knocks, so answer when it does.
I have been bucking a BIG transition at work. Fighting against it tooth and nail, railing and snapping, furious and angry-crying (I hate being an angry crier, I really do). I’ve been an outright bitch about it because I.Do.Not.Want.It.
It did not see it as an opportunity. I did not see it as a chance to grab something new. I saw it as an interruption to a carefully laid plan. I saw it as an INSULT. A way to demean what it is I actually do. It’s been miserable, and so have I.
The Woodpecker is there to remind me that success is there, knocking. This is actually a very good opportunity for me and my future goals. If I’m just willing to go through with it and use it to my advantage. I could even use it for a different job, and to insist on a raise in my current income. There’s opportunity there. I just need to open that damn door.
Activate your creative vision.
Woodpeckers see value in everything, including dead trees. They tell you now is the time to get back to that project you ditched. Breathe new life into your creative self.
I’d been so lost in the anger and depression over the job front I was letting it steal joy from everything. I stopped writing, I stopped blogging, I stopped everything.
Listening to the woodpecker (and my bestie pecking at me like a woodpecker at a tree), I’ve returned to writing and the two of us are almost done with the book we have been co-writing (the second in our series). I’ve also resumed many other creative tasks – creating new things for my Etsy shop (see link on the right and in the header), fancying up my altar for samhain, yarn-work of the crochet and knit variety, and now I’m resuming blogging.
Being creative helps my brain work better. It helps my mood. It’s worth it to not forget that.
Be determined, focused, and see it through to the end.
This is going to be a very important message for me for the next two years plus. I’m about to dive into nursing school in January. It’s not going to be easy. I’m going to be exhausted, busy, and really have no free time and very little of that weird thing some people call sleep…but I am determined to see it through. I’ve had some amazing inspiration from some pretty damn amazing nurses in my life, and I’m excited for this next chapter.
And just like that woodpecker, I need to see it through until I get that nugget.
So, really, the woodpecker has so many messages for me this month, and I swear I am still uncovering more as I go along. I may have to revisit him, as I believe the woodpecker will be staying with me for a long time.
What animal is speaking to you this month? Do they have lessons for you?
*Disclaimer: I use the term Spirit Animal with deepest respect to the Indigenous people. I have been studying under an amazing, powerful indigenous woman and I respect their beliefs in the highest. I use the term with much honor, and not as a joke or meme. I truly believe these animals come as messengers for me, and try to learn under them. Miigwetch.
by Sarah | Jul 28, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Photography, Redefining Perfect, Weekly Winners
Over the past few years, I’ve found myself apart from my camera more than with. I missed the old days of the Weekly Winners with Lotus. I recently tweeted this fact, and she brought it back, twitter style…so I’m hoping that gets me back friendly with my good old Canon. For now I’ve committed myself to once a month, but hope that one day it will become far more frequent.
This week, I’m taking you to the Circle B Bar Reserve near Lakeland, FL. My eldest and I went on a little hike there shortly after I moved down. Unfortunately, we had to share the zoom lens, and all of my actually good photos came when I had it on…so I don’t have as many as if I’d had my lens all along.
Anyway, enough of my jabbering. Onto the photos…
I only started choosing a word for the year in 2018. “Momentum” followed by “Redefining”. They both really impacted my year.
This appeared in my feed—>
