He just turned 15.
Now he’s Life.
After only being in Scouts for a few years, Denver has managed to scramble up the ranks to make Life.
For those not in the know? That’s 1 away from Eagle Scout – the highest rank. It’s a huge honor.
His goal is 1 year to Eagle, 1.5 at most.
We have no doubt he can do it.
As a teenager, Denver refuses to get his picture taken…So this post is a nearly identical repeat of last year and chock full of embarrassing baby photos in hopes he’ll let me get some NEW pictures to use. Happy birthday, brat. 😉
Time sometimes flies like a bird, sometimes crawls like a snail; but man is happiest when he does not even notice whether it passes swiftly or slowly.
~Ivan Turgeney
Fifteen years ago this minute, as I was in labor, I still thought he was a girl. Â The ultrasound said girl. Everyone said girl.
My dreams said boy.
Mymorning walk to induce labor I stopped not at the girls clothes rack, but at the tiny little suits, ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the teensy little ties.
After three false labors I was forced to sit in the hotel room my Mom had reserved until I “Finally” stopped screwing around and gave birth already. (For the record, Denver was only 1.5 hours “early” for his due date.) Â When my contractions were finally 3 minutes apart, my mom called my OB, who then demanded to know why we waited. She, in her dry and sarcastic glory informed him that she wasn’t about to take me in if I wasn’t going to actually have the baby.
And so Denver made me a parent. With his perfectly round head and surprise appendage that made him decidedly NOT a girl, & made me wonder how in hell I was going to raise a boy.
But he was perfect.
The gorgeous blue of his eyes made me fall in love in an instant.
Everything on time. Every milestone reached at JUST the right moment. Â Every clothing size changing right at it’s declared time (0-3 months? Gone at three months. 3-6? Gone at six…it was eerie).
He was happy. Â Smart. Playful. Loving.
He was my world.
He was my mom and dad’s world.
The first born grandchild. The first born great-grandchild.
The star.
Our family grew. It changed.
Not always in the best, most fair ways for him. Â In truth, sometimes he was forgotten, because he was so ‘perfect’. So easy in comparison. Â (I hate myself for it, but it is true).
It never made him less loved.
In many ways, being the parent of a teen is infinitely harder than raising the young ones. Â He isn’t satisfied with easy answers. Â He sees the world around him in such a different light. Â He sees things that a younger child wouldn’t. Â He understands and absorbs everything. Â Things that I sometimes haven’t the slightest idea how to explain to him, to clarify.
Right now he is struggling, battling against an internal battle I can’t resolve for him. Fighting against the common, and always unique and personal pain of being a teenager.
But in his heart – he is a good kid. Â He is smart. Â He is still loving.
He is annoyed with his parents. Â Embarrassed that his mother has a tattoo and plans more. Â He hates failure. Â He strives to do his best and no one is harder on him when he fails than himself. Â Interested in photography. Science. Math. Writing. Cross Country.
He dreams big dreams. Of being a doctor at Riley so he can help other kids like him.
He achieves big things. Advancements in Boy Scouts, Junior Honor Society.
He struggles to fit in.
He is 15.
In so many ways.
He is my baby.
In so many ways – he always will be.
Happy birthday to my oldest, my first born.
15 is a big number. Â But you’re just getting started.
[flickr id=”5748019048″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”center”] [flickr id=”5888954984″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”center”] [flickr id=”6087274981″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”center”]
It seems like just yesterday I was nervously trying to nibble on my lunch while figuring out a way to tell my Dad I was expecting. I remember that lunch so clearly. It had to have been yesterday.
But no, it was much longer ago. Because in two weeks time Denver turns 15.
Fifteen.
He’s on the downhill slope of his Freshman year. That means in just 2 years he’ll be seriously looking at colleges. Our conversations turn to college at least once a week already.
And I am so ill prepared. It’s pretty sad.
I knew way back in First Grade when Denver first said he wanted to be in NASA that we had college ahead of us. Â Math, science, history – everything but reading that kid loved and excelled at. Â Then when reading took hold?
The kid has been unSTOPable.
Seriously.
His dreams of NASA have turned to dreams of being a Doctor.
As much as I annoy him going all New-Yorker and talking about how my son “wants to be a Doc-tah” Â – I’m seriously, sickeningly, insanely proud of this lofty goal.
And then I think about college.
How right now our only ‘plan’ to pay for it is an Indiana’s great “21st Century Scholars” program & hopes of him reaching Eagle Scouts which could = scholarships. Which is great – if he keeps his grades up and at least for under-grad.
But medical school means many years, many dollars, and my head starts spinning.
So deep in the recesses of my mind where I keep my panic and fear deeply hidden (oh, stop laughing – I do keep it hidden, most of the time) – that large red panic button has been hit. Sirens are blaring, and I’m hearing the robot from Lost in Space “Danger, Will Robinson!”
Three years is not a lot of time to suddenly come up with a plan, and I have a ton of questions.
Wells Fargo has provided a great place for me to get some of those questions answered. Their community forums have both new parents, panicky parents like me, students – and the bonus – specialists.  I’ve been dipping my toes in the waters there and am happy to often find a topic very close to what I already have on my mind.
It’s helped ease some of the panic and the blaring siren sounds are subsiding a little.
But that darn Lost in Space robot is still swinging his arms around in circles…
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Wells Fargo Community
What is it?
The Wells Fargo Community is an online forum where you can ask questions and share knowledge about financial topics. It’s a place to get help and help others in a convenient and safe environment.
The current focus of the community is education planning. We expect to add additional topics over time.
Who can use it?
The community is free and you don’t need to be a Wells Fargo customer to participate. In fact, you don’t even need to be a member to browse and learn from discussions. But, if you want to post your own questions or answers, we’ll ask you to sign up.
Why should you join?
The Wells Fargo Community is a great place to have conversations about your financial challenges and goals because:
How do you get started?
Just go to WellsFargoCommunity.com. Then you can browse and search discussions to find what interests you. Your question may already be answered!
Join the community to ask your own question or reply to someone else. It only takes a few minutes to sign up and it’s free.
It’s easy to stay up-to-date with what’s important to you. If you post anything in the community, you’ll be notified when other community members reply.
Education Planning & Student Loans
Education planning has become increasingly important both due to its impact on lifetime earnings and its rising costs. Many people find the planning process confusing and the amount of information overwhelming. We want to make things simpler.
The Wells Fargo Community is dedicated to helping you understand your education planning options by:
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For more information about the Wells Fargo Community, please visit Wells Fargo Community’s site. I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own. #WFCommunity #spon
I’m not going to lie and come in here with rainbows & sunshine and say 2012 was the BEST YEAR EVER!!!
Because it wasn’t.
We had struggles. Â Financially, physically, mentally, we struggled. Kids went in the hospital, husband had medical issues of many kinds, I sprained my ankle, husband sprained an ankle, Kennedy came within inches of a feeding tube.
There have been lows. Some of them mind-numbingly bad.
But we are still here. Â Our whole family.
And beyond those lows – there were highs. Â Highs like we’ve never seen – and experiences that were beyond amazing.
For me, 2012 will be a year to be immortalized in my mental record books.
It was the year I dyed my hair purple.
It was the year I got published.
It was the year I swung through the trees.
It was the year I signed my first book contract.
It was the year I climbed mountains.
It was the year I signed 2 more publishing contracts – bringing my years total to 3.
It was the year Erik and I finally got a vacation.
It was the year I got to see Cirque (Creepy & cool).
It was the year I turned 36 – & finally felt like I’d come into my own.
It was the year I ran my first 5k.
I made friends out in that big world, my blog grew, my experiences grew, I grew. Â Sometimes out of struggle, but I still grew.
2013 has so much promise to it. Â Two of my books and a short story are all due to be published. Â I have more experiences waiting for me on the other side of January 1st. Â I know we’ll have struggles, I know we aren’t done fighting many of the battles we’re still waging today, and I know that there will be days I’ll want to give up.
But I also know – that I will emerge from each of those struggles. Â Maybe scarred, but always stronger.
So bring it, 2013. Â The Promises, and the Struggles. Â I’m ready for you.
[flickr id=”8285672590″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]We’ve had a rough year.
Ups and downs so often it felt like a roller coaster gone bad. But even in the rockiest times, when I feel at my lowest, I’ve got three stars shining bright to bring me back home. Â Three stars that overcome challenges big and small and shine in ways I never could have imagined.
Denver, the cross country star that laughs in the face of Cystic Fibrosis by his endurance and speed. That is aiming for the best grades he can (and almost always succeeding) so that he can become a doctor. Â Not just a doctor, but a pediatric pulmonologist so that he can help other kids like him and his sister.
Molly, the brilliant little mind trapped behind the limitations of her expressive communication. Every day she’s learning more how to step forward. Â She’s making real friends, and living the heck out of life in her own quirky way.
Kennedy, so many little things that could hold her back, but to her they don’t even exist. Â She’s my temperamental firecracker, but also the sweetest angel you ever could meet. Â Those big eyes and warm snuggles ease away every worry.
They bring hope and light back into my life every moment. Â I’m so proud of each of them. Every day.
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Macy’s Heart of Haiti  is a shining example of people filled with hope even in the greatest difficulties.  Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and even after the earthquake you won’t find a country more filled with hope and joy.
Macy’s believes in “Trade not Aid” as a means of helping the country of Haiti create sustainable work and provide much needed financial opportunities. Â By purchasing one of the more than 40 items available in Macy’s Heart of Haiti line you make a contribution to the Haitian Community.
With everything from quilts, to bowls, to picture frames – all  made from recycled and sustainable items – you can find some amazingly beautiful items to give as gifts, or to decorate your home.  With one click, you get to beautify your life, and strengthen a country stricken by poverty.  It’s a win-win.
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own. #CleverHaiti
In recent months there’s been some trouble in the Cass house.
A horrible little fiend named Insomnia.
Whether stress induced, medication induced, or just popping up to say hello – Insomnia has taken all of us into it’s hold.
For days on end poor Erik suffered from this for several nights in a row. Â I kept trying to convince him to let me make him a hot angel.
He kept insisting that he couldn’t stand warm milk.
One night I insisted, making him one and handing to him insisting he drink.
Since then it’s become an almost nightly ritual.
So good, and so simple to make – and it knocks you out without using drugs. Â I love it, and have since I had my first one at Barnes & Noble’s. Â Of course than I had a steamer and vanilla flavor syrup.
It’s a simple solution, – the next time you have a rough night, you should totally make it.
8 – 12 oz milk (depending on your mug size)
1-2 tsp vanilla (1 or 2 cap-fuls)
2-3 Tbs sugar (or more)
Warm over the stove on med to med-low heat. Â Don’t let boil, just warm to whatever temperature works for you (I usually go to where I can still stick my finger into it without burning myself – Yeah, real accurate, isn’t it?).
Honestly, do the vanilla and sugar to taste, hubby likes less vanilla, I like more. Â I never measure accurately. Just put stuff in until it feels right.
Your other option is to buy the flavoring syrup they have for coffee at the grocery store and use that (like we did at Barnes & Noble). Â I am planning to buy the Caramel syrup next shopping trip and try that for something different!
[flickr id=”8285672590″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]We’ve had a rough year.