Be on the lookout for a wicked evil bathroom stall door.
Color – gray.
Height – about 5’6″
Distinguishing features – a metal locking closure, and nasty auto-swinging hinges that rush it back in your face.
The crime – disrupting the simple doe-eyed beauty of my youngest’s face.
Poor Kennedy.
The only thing she did wrong was be born a Mini-me…right down to the klutzy instincts.
When I was 5 and living in Buffalo one of the best treats was when mom took us to Hills department store. That place had slushies and hot dogs in the front, and sometimes we got a treat after shopping. I loved going to Hills.
Then one day I wanted gum. I REALLY wanted gum while we were standing in line to leave. Mom told me no. I didn’t like that. I don’t remember swiping the gum, but I remember getting caught. Standing next to the car, Mom scolding me and then marching me right back into the store and admitting to the manager what I’d done.
I.Was.Terrified.
It stuck with me.
So when we had some incidents in November with K first lying and then stealing and lying about it, my first instinct was something similar.
The next morning I marched her into school and made her first tell the principal (lovely woman, BTW) and then her teacher (another great person) – and apologize for what she’d done. For the next few weeks until break K had to meet with the guidance counselor weekly. She lost some recess time and at home she was left to sit in the corner while her sister got to play and watch one of her favorite movies.
We thought – maybe it was attention seeking. Life was chaotic. Denver had just spent a week in the hospital and then another week getting PICC treatments. Maybe it was just attention.
But now…the behavior is escalating.
I’m worried. As worried as I always was when she was self-injuring. Because it’s a new type of self-injury.
The most difficult part about it is that she is GOOD. She lies without a blink. She swipes toys and books from her teacher, her classroom, and brings them home to claim them without a second thought.
I’m at a loss. I’m worried. She clearly remembers every time she’s been caught and gotten in trouble (and really, how many times have we missed?). I don’t feel like I can trust my own lovely, kind-hearted, snuggly girl…because she can lie so blatantly and fearlessly right to my face.
I can’t even begin to know how to deal with this. Or why she’s doing it.
Where do I even begin?
I’m not going to lie and come in here with rainbows & sunshine and say 2012 was the BEST YEAR EVER!!!
Because it wasn’t.
We had struggles. Financially, physically, mentally, we struggled. Kids went in the hospital, husband had medical issues of many kinds, I sprained my ankle, husband sprained an ankle, Kennedy came within inches of a feeding tube.
There have been lows. Some of them mind-numbingly bad.
But we are still here. Our whole family.
And beyond those lows – there were highs. Highs like we’ve never seen – and experiences that were beyond amazing.
For me, 2012 will be a year to be immortalized in my mental record books.
It was the year I dyed my hair purple.
It was the year I got published.
It was the year I swung through the trees.
It was the year I signed my first book contract.
It was the year I climbed mountains.
It was the year I signed 2 more publishing contracts – bringing my years total to 3.
It was the year Erik and I finally got a vacation.
It was the year I got to see Cirque (Creepy & cool).
It was the year I turned 36 – & finally felt like I’d come into my own.
It was the year I ran my first 5k.
I made friends out in that big world, my blog grew, my experiences grew, I grew. Sometimes out of struggle, but I still grew.
2013 has so much promise to it. Two of my books and a short story are all due to be published. I have more experiences waiting for me on the other side of January 1st. I know we’ll have struggles, I know we aren’t done fighting many of the battles we’re still waging today, and I know that there will be days I’ll want to give up.
But I also know – that I will emerge from each of those struggles. Maybe scarred, but always stronger.
So bring it, 2013. The Promises, and the Struggles. I’m ready for you.
[flickr id=”8285672590″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]We’ve had a rough year.
Ups and downs so often it felt like a roller coaster gone bad. But even in the rockiest times, when I feel at my lowest, I’ve got three stars shining bright to bring me back home. Three stars that overcome challenges big and small and shine in ways I never could have imagined.
Denver, the cross country star that laughs in the face of Cystic Fibrosis by his endurance and speed. That is aiming for the best grades he can (and almost always succeeding) so that he can become a doctor. Not just a doctor, but a pediatric pulmonologist so that he can help other kids like him and his sister.
Molly, the brilliant little mind trapped behind the limitations of her expressive communication. Every day she’s learning more how to step forward. She’s making real friends, and living the heck out of life in her own quirky way.
Kennedy, so many little things that could hold her back, but to her they don’t even exist. She’s my temperamental firecracker, but also the sweetest angel you ever could meet. Those big eyes and warm snuggles ease away every worry.
They bring hope and light back into my life every moment. I’m so proud of each of them. Every day.
*~*~*
Macy’s Heart of Haiti is a shining example of people filled with hope even in the greatest difficulties. Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and even after the earthquake you won’t find a country more filled with hope and joy.
Macy’s believes in “Trade not Aid” as a means of helping the country of Haiti create sustainable work and provide much needed financial opportunities. By purchasing one of the more than 40 items available in Macy’s Heart of Haiti line you make a contribution to the Haitian Community.
With everything from quilts, to bowls, to picture frames – all made from recycled and sustainable items – you can find some amazingly beautiful items to give as gifts, or to decorate your home. With one click, you get to beautify your life, and strengthen a country stricken by poverty. It’s a win-win.
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own. #CleverHaiti
[flickr id=”8265585712″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]I remember writing many letters to Santa. Asking for Cabbage Patch Dolls, Ballerina Barbies, and Star Wars figurines (Princess Leia, please…and ewoks).
Santa ended up on the receiving end of so many of my wishes and hopes. Many unmet, and many that were.
Not once did I ever ask Santa for something for my brother.
Ever.
And yet…today as I read these words from my middle child, “Can you get my sister a barbie for her”.
My heart is just filled with pride. Joy. Love.
The past couple of months have been difficult.
Behaviorally.
Emotionally.
The end of the year naturally causes chaos, but outside forces have added so much more to our lives that some days I fear one, or all, of us might just break.
And then I see the kindness hidden under layers of quirks. The love expressed – perhaps with the help of her aide, perhaps all on her own – toward a sister I often have to keep her from abusing.
And for a little while.
Just a few minutes.
There is peace.
[flickr id=”8263289615″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Oh, this box has garnered a lot of excitement in my house this week. It came from BabbaCo, and was so chock-full of good stuff we’re saving half of it until Christmas break when we can take our time and enjoy it.
I couldn’t keep the girls out of it for long, though. We eagerly dove in and took out the Constellation Frame.
[flickr id=”8263288763″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”right”]With 2 sheets of sun-sensitive paper and enough star stickers to overflow the papers, I had to exert some limits on how many stickers to use. Still, the girls had so much fun plotting out where to put them, and insisted on sharing the paper. All the time they were filled with questions and asking about the moon and the constellations – thanks to the coloring pages also provided.
Unfortunately winter hit just before we did this – and gray skies don’t help the paper turn dark so we’re still waiting on our finished product 🙁 To ease the girls disappointment, pulled out the crayons and colored the pages provided.
[flickr id=”8264354868″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]I’ve never seen my girls so focused and quiet for any amount of time before. They wanted their pictures to be perfect. Tongues were bitten in concentration to stay in the lines and make things pretty. Molly decided to make the moon picture she was drawing red like sand, so I suggested that maybe she was coloring it as Mars instead of the moon – setting off a whole new slew of questions.
I used to think about home-schooling, but always worried I’d have no clue where to begin. I wish I’d known about the BabbaBox then. A monthly delivery, always with a theme and relevant projects? With help like this, I might have had more courage to try.
[flickr id=”8263286307″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”8264356200″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”8263290907″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”8264357138″ thumbnail=”smalll” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]
BabbaBox is a theme-based box delivered to your door that allows you to enjoy a little convenience and inspiration! As any parent can attest, the most important thing you can give to your child is quality time. BabbaBox makes this possible by helping you to save time, money, & mindspace.
Just think! Fantastic monthly activities with ALL the materials for kids ages 3-6. Included in the box are 3 projects + 1 bestselling book + digital download + parent surprise gift!
The best part? Babbabox makes a GREAT unique gift during the holiday season.
Act now! Get 50% off your first month when you sign up for a monthly membership using the code, SWAY100. Offer expires December 31, 2012.
**This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of BabbaBox. The opinions and text are all mine.**
[flickr id=”8285672590″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]We’ve had a rough year.