by Sarah | Oct 26, 2011 | All About Learning, All About Molly, Autism, Crap, IEP, WTF?
[flickr id=”5885702438″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]School started two months ago. After the gains made last year, and the IEP already in place, we started this year with more hope than last year.
At meet-the-teacher night Archie and I both started to get uneasy.
When we waited after the session to speak to the teacher. We asked about her behavior, to which she replied that it was still too early in the year to say anything. That she doesn’t really pay heaps of attention to behavior – in her class it’s about learning.
That was the first red flag.
Then I mentioned the IEP and her teacher last year, and the response was…
“Well, I don’t look at the past. What happened last year is last year. I give the children a clean slate.”
Alarm bells sounded, dinging loud in our ears. The IEP HAS to be looked at. It’s there for a reason!!!
Still, we sat back. We gave it a chance. We had our IEP meeting for the new year. We thought everything was established and set in it. Everything was put into place. In black and white. The plan was set.
And then it came time for Parent-Teacher conferences.
During the meeting first of the year test scores were discussed. How low Riley’s results were and what they meant. And then it happened. The teacher said:
“It may have had something to do with how she handles tests. But tests are a part of life, we can’t change that and we can’t change how they are given. She just has to learn how to adjust.”
Both Archie & I were stunned into almost total silence. We wrapped up the meeting and got in the car and both said, “What the hell was THAT?”
We have an IEP that states tests are to be given in accordance with her needs. Tests CAN and WILL be changed.
We have decided to switch teachers. There are more reasons than just those two statements, but those alone are enough.
A teacher that doesn’t refer to or care about IEP’s are not what is needed. At all.
by Sarah | Aug 19, 2011 | All About Kennedy, All About Learning, All About Molly
[flickr id=”6060662240″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]It has begun. The 6AM mornings. The scrambling for the bus. The wondering if we put on warm enough clothes.
School.
It’s heaven.
Except for the 6AM mornings.
Wonderful.
Except that KG is only half day (not long enough).
Great.
Except the girls are strung up tight and killing each other and us.
But we’ll adjust.
by Sarah | Aug 15, 2011 | All About Kennedy, All About Learning, Crap
[flickr id=”6047528569″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Tonight was meet the Kindergarten teacher night. I was really excited. Tomorrow I’ll have all kids in school. This was supposed to be a night of relief and excitement for us all.
It became a night of frustration and tears.
First, the school was ill-prepared for teachers (as I learned on Friday) and ended up having to hire two more…ON.FRIDAY. School starts….tomorrow. Soooo, we got Angel’s teachers name when we walked up to her door tonight.
THEN, thanks to poor communication both AM & PM kindergarten parents showed up to what was supposed to be just the AM KG meeting…leaving the room insanely over crowded and confusing.
After the teacher’s (exceptionally short) schpeal about the day’s schedule…I had to wait over 30 minutes to meet her face to face…
And when I told her about Angel’s #CF…I got “Did you talk to the nurse…because she gives me a list of all the kids w/ special medical needs and Angel wasn’t on it.”
I literally had to stop myself and tell the teacher I couldn’t say anything else without getting nasty.
I called in APRIL.
THREE departments to ask what I had to do.
All I got was “nothing. Nothing. No, there’s nothing you need to do.”
And now this?
Once again I’m underwhelmed.
Annoyed.
by Sarah | Jul 26, 2011 | All About Denver, All About Kennedy, All About Learning, All About Me, All About Molly
[flickr id=”5980079990″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]
Four weeks from today it starts.
All three kids in school.
All three.
For about 3 hours a day I will have quiet.
It will be time to clean.
Time to shop.
Time to myself.
I am definitely looking forward to this…
by Sarah | Dec 2, 2010 | All About Learning, All About Molly, Autism
Back in November we had our long awaited IEP meeting.
They’ve confirmed and called it Autism Spectrum Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified. In other words, they aren’t specifically labeling yet. They need more time to decide if it’s PDD-NOS or Aspergers (both of which she has indicators for).
Therapies are in place to help her.
Her testing has been altered to accommodate her needs.
Goals are set.
***
According to her teacher, outside of the initial very rough period of adjustment after her switch to full-day kindergarten she’s made leaps and bounds in her progress. Her fits are fewer, she’s more willing to sit for projects.
She still doesn’t play with the other kids, and they don’t play with her. She shadow-plays their play…and occasionally attempts interactions – but she is ‘different’ enough in how she tries to play that the other kids don’t really respond to it. That worries me.
But she LOVES school. LOVES learning. Is so excited to go every day. Counts down the days until she can go back when it’s the weekend.
All along I’ve been convinced that school was wrong for her.
Some days I still believe that.
But I can’t deny her excitement to learn, to be at school.
But then I see the signs that everything isn’t hunky dory.
Beyond behavioral issues – the inability for her to settle down when she gets home. The increased fighting w/ her siblings.
There’s the sudden aversion to eating. She’s so skinny, she can’t afford to not eat. She’s turning vegetarian, refusing any and all meat – which would be fine if I had the slightest clue how to feed a vegetarian (we are a MEAT loving family here). Beyond that, her lack of eating is resulting in thinning hair again. I rarely try to give her ‘pretty hair’ any longer because her hair is so thin, I just can’t style it.
And the bed wetting. I don’t blame her or yell at her. She apologizes every time. She just doesn’t know. She crashes SO hard after big overstimulating days that she sleeps right through her need to go. It’s not her fault, but I have enough laundry without this kind of event happening nightly.
***
I’m still worried.
My heart is torn.
There is no right.
Keep her in, how many more behaviors will emerge?
Take her out, break her heart and cause another meltdown triggered by a major change.
There is no right.
I’m incapable of helping her.
Of handling my own conflicted thoughts and heart and mind.
Lost.
So afraid of making another wrong turn.
Afraid that we’ve already screwed her over.
Afraid that we won’t be able to correct this.
Afraid that she’ll never ‘fit in’ and always feel that pain the way her daddy does.
by Sarah | Oct 6, 2010 | All About Learning, All About Molly, Autism
Over the past few (difficult) days, my mind has been lingering in the past. Not the long ago past, but just a few months ago. Before the sometimes-daily struggle for calm that exists now.
Back when there was a balance and a quiet routine to the day.
Not structured…by any means (something I need to start soon)…but routine.
Sibling rivalry existed, but not in the extreme sense we have now.
Fits were had, pouting and hiding in our room fits, but not so often.
Craziness occurred, but in fits and spurts not constant.
Nothing was ‘perfect’, but we were content in our days, in our everyday world. The group of kids in our neighborhood, while older, were known to the girls, and so Riley felt comfortable playing, laughing, cheering and screaming with them. She felt safe. We felt safe.
Now in the world of unknowns, constant change, and fighting to keep our heads above water I linger in the past. If only to get me through the current haze of extreme behaviors erupting. New and sometimes unnerving behaviors. We’ll deal with them all as they come…but sometimes it’s easier to disappear into the ‘then’ than it is to live in the ‘now’.
***
Update: In the efforts being made to move Riley to all-day Kindergarten the Special Services director said the word we’ve been needing (and dreading) to hear: Autism. In order to facilitate her move they are taking many steps, including consulting the ‘Autism Specialist’. We haven’t had our IEP meeting, but this confirms that they are heading in the direction we’d expected, and down the line steps will be made. It’s both good and bad…Good because having a psych say it will help us get the state assistance we need…bad because even though we’ve “known” for a long time…confirmation is always hard.
In the week since we’ve made the decision and tried to start prepping Riley for the change to all-day kindergarten we’ve been dealing with some extra chaos and thus this post. The switch, no matter how fast we rip off that bandaid, is not promising to be smooth.
