by Sarah | Feb 18, 2019 | All About Erik, All About Family, All About Marriage, All About Me, All of Us, Redefining Perfect
Made lovingly.
Crafted thoughtfully.
Colors and design chosen to suit how we planned to decorate.
Hummingbirds embroidered to honor my wedding, and my grandfather.
The state stitched in.
Given as a wedding gift with the words…
“Do not hang or display this. I made it to be used.”
Over sixteen years later we have done as it was wished by my mother when she gave this to us for our wedding.
It has been used well.
Sat on, snuggled under, covered the back of the couch, used to cover the floor for sleepover movie nights, to build forts during sleepovers, laid on the end of our bed, slept on…
Used and loved.
It shows the wear of the years.
The handling.
The care.
Fabric has torn.
Batting lost.
Holes.
Tears.
Patches where no fabric remains.
A hummingbird flapping loose as if to fly away.
Today we removed it from where it’s sat most recently, on my husband’s recliner.
So that we might continue to hold onto this piece that has been part of the fabric of our lives for 16+ years.
Before it falls to shambles.
Because though we have done as asked, and used it well…I want to honor the gift for what it was and is…and the memories it symbolizes.
I’m sure it will still see use, but it will be with care to keep it alive for as long as we can.
by Sarah | Dec 31, 2015 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Home, All About Indiana, All About Kennedy, All About Marriage, All About Me, All About Molly, All About Ripley, All of Us, Blogging Life, Disney, Make-A-Wish, Redefining Perfect
Tonight is a night of reflection. When we all look back on the year that’s past and examine it, and then look forward to the coming year and anticipate what’s coming.
A breath of hope.
Of change.
Of life.
To look back on my 2015 I can sum it all up with one simple word.
More so in the last 1/3 of the year, but definitely, all around, chaos.
There was much good to be had – Disney (again), getting my son back from the land of emo teenager, book releases, returning to the community theater stage (w/ my whole family, no less) good moments with friends and family.
There were also rough times – my dad’s downward spiral into some pretty bad Parkinson’s symptoms, working triple time at the day job, my publisher closing, and some pretty hurt feelings on my part (sorry, vagueposting that).
The last third of the year it felt like I couldn’t even take a breath we were so insanely busy. Between the play, Disney, work life and home life, I got hardly any writing done, hardly any breathing done.
Now it’s time to step back and take a breath. To look to the upcoming year with hope and excitement.
I see more chaos in the coming year for certain. I see myself setting more lofty goals for myself. I see big changes for my family’s dynamic as one bird flies from the nest. I see growth for my book sales, and moving closer to my dream of being able to stay at home again. I see excitement as more of my Buffalo family moves to Indiana.
So I welcome 2016 with a certain level of anticipation and calm acceptance.
I look forward to whatever it brings me.
by Sarah | Apr 9, 2013 | A to Z Challenge, All About Erik, All About Marriage, All About Me, All of Us, Story of Me
This hummingbird glass sculpture was purchased to be my cake-topper at my wedding to match the light hints of hummingbird throughout my wedding (like the hummingbirds mom embroidered on my dress). Less than a year after the wedding my cat skidded across my dresser, knocked it to the ground and shattered it. I refuse to throw it away. It sits there, sealed in a plastic bag, for eternity. The symbol of the hummingbird means too much to give up. I dream of finding someone to fix this cake-topper, even though I know it’s not possible.
*~*
My grandparents used to take an annual trip to see my Grampa’s brother. They’d go out to Massachusetts and spend time with family, and then return home to Buffalo.
One of their favorite parts of the trip was sitting outside and watching the hummingbirds buzz around.
Then, my great-uncle passed away, and my grandparents went out for the funeral. On their last night there, in the cool evening air they spoke of my uncle. As he sat there talking, a hummingbird flew up near my Grampa’s shoulder and hovered. It lingered near his face for several minutes, flitting back and forth before flying off.
They all decided that had been my great-uncle stopping by for one last visit.
Almost seventeen years ago, after a year’s fight against cancer, my Grampa passed away.
It was September in Buffalo. Cold air had begun to move in. All summer things were fading. I returned to New York with the funeral, and then went right back to NC to return to school.
Three weeks later the family grapevine lit up with the story.
At the end of September, Gramma was out on her porch to bring in all the chairs, etc. for winter. It was a yearly ritual when it just became too cold to sit on the porch. Since it was sunny, she decided to sit outside for one last afternoon. Wrapped in her sweater she sat, watching the cars go by as she always did.
There.
In the cold end of September.
Hovering near a hanging plant.
Buzzed a hummingbird.
It flew under the porch roof.
Hovered near Grandma.
And then took off.
*
Every September for the past sixteen years.
Even if I have not seen one all year.
A hummingbird shows up.
Every year.
*~*
I won’t let go of the cake topper.
The hummingbird is still in one piece.
And Grampa still visits.
*~*~*
The A-Z Challenge has over 1900 participants, all blogging from A to Z this month. Check them out and see if you can’t find a few new favorites!!
by Sarah | Dec 27, 2012 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Marriage, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us
I’m not going to lie and come in here with rainbows & sunshine and say 2012 was the BEST YEAR EVER!!!
Because it wasn’t.
We had struggles. Financially, physically, mentally, we struggled. Kids went in the hospital, husband had medical issues of many kinds, I sprained my ankle, husband sprained an ankle, Kennedy came within inches of a feeding tube.
There have been lows. Some of them mind-numbingly bad.
But we are still here. Our whole family.
And beyond those lows – there were highs. Highs like we’ve never seen – and experiences that were beyond amazing.
For me, 2012 will be a year to be immortalized in my mental record books.
It was the year I dyed my hair purple.
It was the year I got published.
It was the year I swung through the trees.
It was the year I signed my first book contract.
It was the year I climbed mountains.
It was the year I signed 2 more publishing contracts – bringing my years total to 3.
It was the year Erik and I finally got a vacation.
It was the year I got to see Cirque (Creepy & cool).
It was the year I turned 36 – & finally felt like I’d come into my own.
It was the year I ran my first 5k.
I made friends out in that big world, my blog grew, my experiences grew, I grew. Sometimes out of struggle, but I still grew.
2013 has so much promise to it. Two of my books and a short story are all due to be published. I have more experiences waiting for me on the other side of January 1st. I know we’ll have struggles, I know we aren’t done fighting many of the battles we’re still waging today, and I know that there will be days I’ll want to give up.
But I also know – that I will emerge from each of those struggles. Maybe scarred, but always stronger.
So bring it, 2013. The Promises, and the Struggles. I’m ready for you.
by Sarah | Oct 12, 2012 | All About Erik, All About Marriage, All About Me
He was the first to ask US on a date. He included my beautiful three year old on our first date. He thought of us before he thought of me. He took us to an appropriate kid-friendly place. He talked to Denver, he madeDenver laugh. And when dinner was over, Denver looked at Erik and said, “Are you coming home to see Mimi and Papa?” The deal was sealed…he was special.
I held back, afraid to give up my heart. I couldn’t tell him I loved him…I was terrified of my past repeating itself. But once I was able to make that step, everything fell into place. Engaged and a wedding date planned before we’d hit the six month point. A fall wedding, as I’d dreamed.
There wasn’t a doubt…WE would be married. Not just Erik, and I…but Denver, too. He asked Denver permission to marry me, and he had Denver give me the ring – sending my mother into a fit of tears. The ceremony would involve Denver, and we’d be announced as a family.
And so we were. Our small family embarking on new territory. Making a path none of us was too sure how to follow. But we trudged ahead and forged it together.
The first year was tough as I pursued roles in Community Theater as well as marriage and mommy-hood. But from there, community theater was put on hold to focus on family.
We’ve had our struggles…financially, and emotionally. But we’re now at ten years and stronger than ever.
He’s the one that’s supported me, no matter what my dream or desire. He believes in me when I’m not so sure I believe in myself. He tells me daily that I’m beautiful, or a good wife, or both. He is proud of me as his wife, and as a mother.
So Erik, thank you for nine years of wedded bliss (and miss)…our struggles made us stronger…and your love makes me better.
by Sarah | Jun 18, 2012 | 45 before 45, All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Marriage, All About Me, All of Us, Bucket List, Random
*Please excuse the crappy quality of this picture. I assure you the original is AWESOME…my phone just took a really crappy photo of the photo…
Two months ago Erik & I went to St. Louis. It was a “knock some sh*t off Sarah’s bucket list while getting the heck out of dodge & being child-free” weekend. We had a great time. The highlight of the trip (especially for Erik) was the Anheuser Busch Beermaster Tour.
Running in a close second was the Star Trek Exhibit at the science center. Depressingly, pictures were not allowed in any capacity – except for those that they themselves took & you had to pay for (mind you, it was an expense I didn’t hesitate to pay…but I digress).
Erik & I spent over an hour looking at everything on display. Pointing out errors in the placards (seriously? You’re going to allow blatant errors in a ST exhibit? Shame…). Soaking in the dozens of costumes on display. Erik took this killer picture in the original series captain’s chair (depressingly not set in an actual set – but against a green screen). Toward the end I about passed out as I beheld the TNG bridge set. In geek heaven I wandered around, had my picture taken in the captain’s chair, kept wandering. I sat in Data’s chair, people…DATA’s CHAIR.
Geek heaven.
In the past few weeks there’s been an emergence of an up and coming geek.
The teen has been watching anything & everything Trek (or Trek-approximate) in our house. Considering Erik has ALL the movies (some in double w/ Blu-Ray and Standard) – and Netflix carries all the series – this is a lot of Trek. He also has a Play Station Star Trek game that I don’t remember us having…but he’s been playing pretty non-stop
First it was the movies. All of them. From The Motion Picture to the new Star Trek.
Then he tried the series. Much like me, the Original Series didn’t float his boat much – and he stopped watching it within about 3 or 4 episodes. In the past two days he has watched the entire first season of The Next Generation. I know he’s chomping at the bit to get to Deep Space Nine, but seems dedicated to watching them in order. The proper order.
The kid is my kind of geek.
Wish I could take full credit – but I’m pretty sure most of it goes to my movie-obsessed husband whose fail-safe “I don’t know what to watch” movies are the Star Trek movies.
Either way – the new generation has started it’s Trekkie-love. And I couldn’t be more proud. After all, this is something we can share as a family. Most of the time, we don’t agree on much (that is difficult to do with a teen).
Made lovingly.
It shows the wear of the years.
Holes.
