by Sarah | Feb 14, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Oola, Personal, Redefining Perfect
I am the queen of holding grudges.
No, really. It’s kind of sad, actually.
I still hold a grudge toward a former best friend from middle school that pretty much destroyed every hope I had of having friends by spreading a ridiculous rumor to make herself more popular. It worked, and I definitely still get a visceral reaction to the memory of her. I know this because the other day we had a patient with the same name (clearly wasn’t her because she’s from Buffalo, I haven’t lived there in almost 30 years now).
There are a couple other grudges that I’ve held onto for a long time…but I won’t go into details.
We’ll just say…
QUEEN OF GRUDGES.
My faith, unlike some others, doesn’t have a specific “rule” about forgiveness. It’s not a commandment or anything.
However, if you look at the Wiccan Rede (An’ it harm none, do what thou will), or the Rule of Three (Whatever energy you put out comes back to you; threefold)…those grudges can affect both principles. Holding grudges might not harm them, but it harms me. It’s only causing myself pain. Holding grudges, gives that negativity, that harshness, its own room, its own space to grow and build and turn back onto myself.
I think my biggest issue is that most of my grudges aren’t so much out of anger, but out of deep-seated pains.
If I take a hard look at what I’m holding onto and letting block me from others…
It’s because of the pain I was caused. How deeply I was hurt.
Instead of healing that pain, I’m holding onto the grudges, letting myself separate from the pain by declaring anger and using that grudge like a shield.
It’s not the way I want to live my life any longer. I want to find the joy. I want to live an Oola life. And while cutting out toxicity is necessary to attain some level of Oola…
Sometimes I think I’m doing that wrong.
I’m letting go with pain, sorrow, loss, and sometimes anger.
I’m not forgiving the actions or the people as I release them.
I’m hacking with an ax instead of releasing them with the lightness of a balloon.
I don’t want to make room for pain any longer.
I want to make room for joy.
I need to find the space to forgive.
I need to gather all of my grudges and fill them with helium…
And release them with love.
by Sarah | Feb 13, 2019 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Me, All of Us, Redefining Perfect
Everyone warns you how tough the teen years are.
They were. They are. They sucked. They are just starting in the girls.
No one warned me about this nonsense.
I mean – they’re grown up, legal, and all of that…
But sooo not grown up.
Smart as can be.
Naïve about how the world works.
You can counsel, but you can’t discipline (not that they listen either way).
They still think they’re invincible.
But they have to call for help on some of the most basic tasks.
They still avoid talking about certain aspects of their life.
Then bombard you with inappropriate adult humor that you’re not prepared to hear from their mouths.
They impress us with his financial acuity and maturity.
Then they’re utterly careless with the maintenance and care of the vehicle still in our name – including it being impounded.
You still stress and worry over them daily.
They get so annoyed with your concern and see it as you not believing they’ll succeed.
You’re walking a fine line because technically they’re adults…
But they’re BABY adults…with their own minds and own passions and own beliefs….but still so oblivious to so many things.
No one warned me about this shit.
All I ever heard about was the terrible twos.
Terrible teens.
How much I’d miss them when I was gone.
To appreciate the now.
No one warned me that it would be a really weird place to be when they got into that ‘adult’ stage.
Some days I think it’s worse than those painfully awful teen years.
Some days, though…
No, most days…
Most days it’s infinitely more awesome.
by Sarah | Feb 12, 2019 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Blogging Life, Redefining Perfect, Top Ten Tuesday
Continuing our weekly countdown of my top ten dream family vacations, we come to #8…
St. Louis, MO.
Unfortunately, to be honest, my kids beat me to this before I could even get back into blogging and complete this top 10 that I started ages ago (seriously, I started these probably a year ago originally, so plenty has happened)…this past fall, the near-adult took the teens on a road trip, and they started in St. Louis.
I’d like to make the trek again…this time with all of us together.
Erik and I went to St. Louis several years ago. We had a lot of fun when I wasn’t at my blogging conference, and there’s plenty of sights we didn’t get to see, and there’s sights my kids didn’t get to see last year.
There is so much to do in St. Louis beyond the arch. There’s so much FREE stuff to do in St. Louis…and not free stuff. We could really go for a week and not have time to see it all. From the Lemp Mansion for my ghost-hunting self, to the City Museum for the kids to have fun, to back to the brewery tour for my husband to have fun (again) and the girls to see the Clydesdales.
We live so close, relatively speaking, it’s a shame we haven’t day-tripped it once or twice. Maybe we can get a run in before we move.
Have you been to St. Louis? What was your favorite part? Better yet, do you live there? What’s an insider tip we have to know?
by Sarah | Feb 10, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Gratitude, Redefining Perfect
As part of my Oola journey, I’m making an effort to be more grateful. My daily planner has a place specifically labeled for Gratitude. I’d like to spread some of that love here, too.
I am grateful for –
5 years with our beloved rescue dog, Ripley.
Good days that remind me what Oola feels like.
Beautiful pictures of Florida that remind me daily of my goals.
Yoga with Adriene.
Knitting.
Coworkers that have my back.
Hope.
Sunshine and random warm days in the midst of ick.
Finding my voice.
Confronting a lingering pain.
That my son finally has a job again.
Making progress on projects again.
A good night’s sleep.
Good memories.
by Sarah | Feb 6, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Book Reviews, I'm A Reader, Redefining Perfect
I didn’t read as much as I’d expected this month, but I did get some finished and some new books started.
Some may interest you, some may not. I hope it gives you at least a few ideas!!
Onto the post:
What I Read
[easyazon_link identifier=”0778324338″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Poison Study[/easyazon_link]
This was a re-read for me. I initially read it in 2012, and have seen the entire series come up in my feed a fair number of times during the past year, so I thought I’d give it a re-read to see if I wanted to dive into the rest of the series (finally).
My biggest concern is that I’d remember what happened and drop the book as quick as I’d started. Lucky for me, the 7 year span apparently did wonders for me forgetting what happened…and I was able to enjoy the book as if it was the first time all over again…although I’m not sure I enjoyed it AS much this time…my first review was sickeningly glowing.
I do enjoy the depth of the characters and the surprises the author managed to throw in along the way. I do plan to read the rest of the series, if I can find the time.
Llewellyn’s Netgalley Reads
*I received a copies of these books via netgalley. All opinions are my own*
Llewellyn is a publisher I request probably 95% of their books and so far have always been approved. I’ve got quite a few on my Kindle that I’ve neglected so I went on a mad dash to read through as many as I could in recent weeks. Some of them were, unfortunately, unreadable beyond standard acceptable ARC issues ~womp-womp~ I have contacted them to let them know, but I did manage to find 3 that I could read.
[easyazon_link identifier=”073875997X” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Llewellyn’s Little Book of Tarot[/easyazon_link] continues their ‘little book’ theme…although “little” could be subjective. According to Goodreads the hardcover of this book spans 248 pages…sooo…anyhoo. I liked this take on tarot for the most part. Each card had an image of the tarot card – and there was a wide variety of tarot decks represented so you could get a feel for many different decks and maybe even find one that spoke to you. The “quick read” description was a handy tool. For me, I wish it had been set up differently, with the journal challenges and such separate from each card, but overall it was a good tool.
[easyazon_link identifier=”B07HKZWF54″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Your Tarot Court[/easyazon_link] by Ethony Dawn is for people like me who struggle with the meaning of the court cards. Packed with information that can be, at times, overwhelming, this is a book I’m going to have to read a few times to get the full depth of. However, Ethony’s voice is easy to read and I did learn a lot just on my first read through. The individual tasks set to help you learn really are handy and if you learn better by doing, are a godsend.
[easyazon_link identifier=”0738757896″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]The Hearth Witch’s Kitchen Herbal[/easyazon_link]is one of those that I’ve been holding onto for a while and now I wish I hadn’t. This would be a lovely reference piece to keep in the kitchen. I really like that it focuses on common herbs that we are likely to already have on hand or gather easily and inexpensively. Where I live there aren’t a lot of exotic spice stores on hand to gather unusual ingredients. I feel like this book gave me easy to follow recipes using every day ingredients. I felt like the history of the herbs was a little drawn out for my taste, but I understand why it’s all in there. I just wish that part had been separated from the recipes instead of having it all combined.
[easyazon_link identifier=”B07M5PZJF4″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Bleed Like Me[/easyazon_link]
I got this via netgalley, all opinions are, as always, my own.
Eh. I felt like this came from a super-emo middle school me.
Oddly enough, I didn’t connect with it at all.
The concept intrigued me enough that I eagerly grabbed for it. I like a dark story, a dark poem, a dark anything…I’m pretty dark and twisty when I want to be myself…but this was just…like I said. It came off more emo than dark and twisty. Like they were throwing in blood and dark themes gratuitously. No real emotions were brought up for me reading it. Disappointed.
*~*
Honestly, there were a couple more I read from Netgalley and other sources, but I don’t feel they warrant mention. Okay but not great.
*~*
What I’m Reading Now
[easyazon_link identifier=”052561849X” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]The Wedding Guest[/easyazon_link]
It has been a LONG time since I’ve read an Alex Delaware Novel, honestly. My husband and I used to read these a lot, and they were always super easy reads, but then we got off of the kick or moved on or got in non-reading modes and forgot about them.
When I saw this on Netgalley, even though I haven’t read one of these in ages I thought “Why not? They were always quick reads.”
Well, we’ll see if that still holds true.
We’ll also see if I missed anything by not reading the last 10-20 of them….
The Wendy
I never really saw myself as a Peter Pan story reader…but I have two of these on my list as next to read, and I read one back in 2017 that I really enjoyed.
This one looks interesting enough with Wendy in the lead role and a bit of a kick ass character if the cover holds true.
Here’s hoping. 😉
[easyazon_link identifier=”1250005914″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Second Grave on the Left[/easyazon_link]
Yuppers. I enjoyed book 1 so much, I’m ready to dive into book 2. I can’t wait to see what sort of trouble Charley gets herself into this time.
Also, more Reyes?
Um…YES.
Oh, to have more time to read all the time.
(Yup, still on here. I’m actually 90 pages in…but not done so it doesn’t go on the finished side yet, unfortunately)
[easyazon_link identifier=”B07C96XW1D” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Smoke & Summons[/easyazon_link]
You know those “must read” authors you find? The ones that…you don’t even read the blurb…you see the book and buy it?
Well, that’s Charlie Holmberg for me. Her Paper Magician series captivated me, so when this came up as a January Kindle First Read, I grabbed it without another thought.
So it’s a new add…but one I must read for sure.
Along with the rest of her books that I’ve stashed away to read.
(Yup, still on here. Haven’t even cracked it open yet…soon. Soon.)
Second Star
Another Peter Pan retelling.
Once again focusing on Wendy.
This time literally set in the stars.
We’ll see if Spaceship Peter Pan is worth the read!
*~*
I’m so glad I’m on a reading kick again. I have a LOT to catch up on. So stick around…more updates coming soon!
by Sarah | Feb 4, 2019 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Home, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All About Ripley, All of Us, Blogging Life, Disney, Disney Mom, Florida Dreaming, Oola, Redefining Perfect, Universal, Universal Studios Mom
*disclaimer* I am writing this over a week before publication. All information is subject to change. I’ll try to update if that happens, but I’m working a LOT, so it’s not 100%
We decided on this move in June of last year.
For over six months I have been applying at hospitals all over the area we’re looking at moving to (central Florida – i.e. Orlando area where our son lives).
I have managed to garner an interview and a half in probably 50-100 applications over the past six+ months. It’s been rough with all of the no’s stacking up, knowing a good deal of them likely come because I am here in Indiana.
It’s not easy being entry level and trying to move. They keep touting they want “a quick turnaround” and none of my assurances that I can be down in two weeks, three tops seems to make a difference in their eyes. Although what company doesn’t want you to be conscientious and put in a two week notice?
Frustration is lacing into every second of this for me. It’s tarnishing the excitement and making me doubt it happening.
Then, after six+ months of doing nothing on his job hunt…
My husband finally jumps into the fray. He works in a pretty specific industry with 20 years experience there, but again…pretty darn specific.
He has sent out THREE resumes. Three. About two weeks ago.
In less than a week, he got a call on a potential job.
Four days later, a phone interview.
The job? Not ideal…but if they match his current income…we are GONE.
So fingers crossed.
We could make this a reality.
Our target date: July 2019
Current status: One positive interview for husband, still plugging away for me. Savings is on target. Would feel more confident if I knew tax refunds were coming.
We’re heading toward our dream #Oolalife…we are getting there. Every day another inch closer.
*~*
Edited for update: I have also had a promising pre-interview this past week. No set date for a real interview yet, but hoping to have one soon.
I am the queen of holding grudges.
