by Sarah | Jan 5, 2012 | All About Me
[flickr id=”6637796263″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]I suck at Resolutions. New Years I try to ignore. It’s just another day – another year. Life doesn’t change just because I have to change the date I write on my checks (yes, I still do write checks – about 3/mo).
Plus if something is a “resolution” I’m almost guaranteed to crap out on it. I have a problem with ‘stick-to-it-iveness’. It’s a long standing problem that I don’t see getting resolved (Pardon the pun).
So when I saw over at The Band that instead of making unattainable resolutions, they were bringing it with the statement “I will…” and naming attainable goals through ideas, thoughts, and attitudes; I was ready to participate in that.
This is what I WILL do…
I WILL respect myself. Always my own worst critic, I forget this key point too often.
I WILL practice patience. Instead of getting annoyed at every little interruption I will stop, breathe, and actually listen.
I WILL stop carrying the world on my shoulders. In this past year I’ve become surly and grumpy, and I blame myself for carrying everything on my shoulders. It’s not on purpose, and Archie tries to get me to stop stressing – but my brain doesn’t work like that. It has to dissect every problem right then and there.
I WILL remember how to find the silver lining again. Tied to the previous statement, it seems like in the past few months my capability to find that silver lining has waned.
I WILL take better care of myself. This goes beyond a weight loss, getting fit, dieting type of deal. No. This is about taking better care of me – head to toe & brain to body. It’s not a goal weight, it’s a goal state of mind. Being a SAHM is wonderful, I love it – but I let myself go. The size of pants I have to buy now makes me cry & I hate pictures of myself because I don’t like what I’ve become. Slothful, and careless, eating nothing but crap, crap, and more crap. I’m better than that.
I WILL get out more. Going to see the Geek Girls, taking the kids to the zoo (hello membership) or just OUT in the warmer months. Everywhere I go I will take my camera, and I will enjoy what life Indiana has to offer (it does have something to offer, right?)
I WILL be disciplined in my efforts. I don’t need a minute by minute schedule – but I need some organization. For cleaning the house, for working on my writing, for just spending time with my family. Chaos hasn’t worked well in previous years. This year I need to try being organized for a change.
I WILL be brave & daring. I will step outside my comfort zone. Try something new, leave behind things that hold me back. This applies to writing, photography, and just life. Having social anxieties, this won’t be so easy…heck going to the gym on a regular basis is daring for me…and I’m doing that. I can do more.
by Sarah | Jan 2, 2012 | All About Erik, All About Family, All About Marriage, All About Me
[flickr id=”5255380571″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]The New Years superstition says that whatever you do on the first day of the year you do all year.
For the first day of my year I was on a (no cost) date with my husband. We used an old Eversave purchase to go to the movies and a gift card to go to my husband’s favorite restaurant (Outback). We did lay down some cash for a tip, but after smuggling in snacks & water for the movie our day was pretty cheap.
If that’s how I’m going to spend my year I say…Bring It 2012!!!
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We saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. It was pretty good. Not so sure it was as good as the first but it’s been a long time since I saw the first one. There were several open ends leaving room for another movie and unanswered questions. For a more in depth review it would be better to ask Archie for a full review…he does a pretty mean movie review when you ask him too.
*~*~*
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season filled with joy and family! Here’s to a great, prosperous and happy New Year!!
by Sarah | Dec 1, 2011 | All About Me, All of Us
[flickr id=”6317132650″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”] What is one word to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year?
I sat and pondered on this for over 24 hours. When all was said and done, I could only come up with one word consistently to describe 2011 for me.
Chaotic.
It started with CF testing for Brandon and the lingering effects of Angels Christmas-time hospital stay. PICC lines and genetic tests.
From there it was the up and down of whether or not Brandon did have CF. A positive test followed by a negative test. A negative test changed to a positive.
There were school events, track meets, cross country, Riley’s ups & downs in school, Angel’s entrance to school. Visits from dear friends when our house was filled to overflowing with people and love. Several times we dog sat for my parents. Many family members visited from out of town. I had a brief bout of working outside the home again. I’ve written 260k words, 4 books, sent out queries and manuscripts. I had a post featured on Band Back Together. I celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary.
It feels like I barely had time to breathe this year. There was always something going on and it passed faster than I ever could have imagined.
It was totally chaotic.
It was bad, it was good, it was all over the map.
I’m still trying to figure out how it’s almost over.
by Sarah | Nov 30, 2011 | All About Me
Last year I participated in #Reverb10, and even though I didn’t finish I loved the concept of it and was looking forward to doing it this year. But, the hosts of the event decided not to carry on this year, but encouraged participants to start their own. Through an easy quick search on twitter for the hashtag and found this website that is doing a new version of it called #resound11.
The prompts and theme of it is a wonderful way to end the year. I’m excited to start tomorrow and hope that you sign up too!
Just head on over to Jaemie’s site and sign up!
by Sarah | Nov 20, 2011 | All About Me, Crap, Random, WTF?
[flickr id=”6202967832″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]I’m not liking myself much right now.
I’m attributing it to stress of the past month and of the upcoming holidays.
But I’m ugly. Inside.
Short tempered.
Nasty.
Angry.
Impatient.
I don’t like it and I want it to stop.
I’m hoping that now that I am returning to my normal routine I will get back my usual state of mind and heart. Now that I don’t have the added stress of fitting things around work that I will actually feel like I’m accomplishing something.
I don’t want to be miserable. I don’t want to be putting myself in time out like I did tonight.
The holidays are coming and I need to be happy. After all I have cookies to bake and treats to make and Christmas morning photos to take.
by Sarah | Nov 16, 2011 | All About Me, Crap, Random, WTF?
[flickr id=”6030468849″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]A few weeks ago I posted about the debate we were going through. Should I work? Or not?
We weighed all the options. Debated what we would gain, what we would lose. There were negatives, for sure. There were fears about me actually getting back to work – and the possibility of hospital visits happening with the kids.
We thought of everything. We were certain of that.
So when I saw the position at the library I leaped at it. I WANTED it. I took it without thinking about hours. There was panic about being able to find childcare to cover my hours. There’s been a lot of me missing just being home for and with my family.
In the end, though…I’ve loved the job. There are SLOW days for sure…and days so busy my mind is just spinning with everything that needs to be done. While I’ve missed home, missed my family – I liked being out in public again. Having a reason to get dressed and put on makeup. Contributing to my family’s budget (not that I’ve seen a paycheck yet).
So yesterday as I was filling out paperwork for our all important magical insurance (that covers all things CF – especially the things that our stupid regular insurance does not – like $2500 meds) the realization hit me.
We didn’t think of everything.
I was forced into the realization that less than 2 full weeks into my job – I have to quit.
In the end my ‘extra’ income will hurt us far more than it will help us.
I spent yesterday a wreck. I had minor panic attacks all day.
My wonderful Archie when I was sobbing about how I liked the thought of contributing to the house, and that I felt good to be helping him with the “breadwinner” stress…told me that I contributed to the house by BEING here and making neat and calm and comfortable for his OCD-rattled brain after work. He soothed my stresses about our current financial status and how this was supposed to help.
In my panic and sadness over leaving a job I love he was my rock.
So thank you, Archie.
Even if I know you only love me for regularly clean sheets and floors (over the sporadic cleaning since I started work) 😉
