by Sarah | Nov 13, 2011 | All About Me, Crap, Random
[flickr id=”6271416484″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]When it is cold and dark outside.
You seek the warmth.
When things seem the darkest.
You look for the light.
Some days the struggle blinds you to the light.
Right now I am stressed.
The new job cuts into my week. I have things to learn and my mind is racing while I’m there with making sure I get things done right. There wasn’t a learning curve so much as sink or swim. I had basic training and was out there. It’s how I like to learn, but it can be overwhelming.
I’m getting over a cold while Angel is getting one (always a panic button issue).
We are still without an official permanent sitter for the kids with my new job. While we’re managing to wiggle through now w/ hubby taking a late lunch daily to watch the kids until Brandon comes home, my in-laws are watching on Fridays until they go down South and my Dad has offered to watch after that for ‘a while’…we need something permanent and set. If Middle School didn’t run a full hour later than elementary (or it was the other way around) we’d be fine. No such luck, though.
We had meetings with Riley’s school several times the past few weeks. Things were not good. We were not happy. Steps have been taken to make things better, but I’m still not completely happy. We’ll see how the next months go along.
Christmas is coming and we are not ready for it. Finances are tight. The new job has started, but we’ve yet to see the fruit of my labor there. We feel like we’re gasping for air, and floundering.
I am always the one that sees the silver lining, but I feel like I haven’t had time lately. For once I’ve been the negative Nellie, tense and short tempered. I know it’s still adjusting to the new job. To the shift in my schedule and my families.
I just want to feel like me again.
by Sarah | Nov 12, 2011 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Random
Since I failed to take out my camera this week, I won’t be doing a Weekly Winners or Scavenger Hunt Sunday post this week. Instead I went into the October Prompts from the NaBloPoMo site to find a prompt to inspire me today. I found this one:
If your life flashed before your eyes, what are 5 moments you know would be included?
My immediate response was the births of my three kids and my wedding, taking me up to four moments in the matter of a heartbeat. What else would there be? What one moment stuck out to me in the realm of the birth of my children and the marriage to my wonderhubs?
Would it be the last dance I shared with my Grampa? The one at my brother’s wedding? Would it be the last heart to heart talk I had with my grandma on her front porch the year before she passed away? What about our family trips to Disney World? Our weekends at the campground? The summer that it rained every day the entire summer? Of course I could remember the days spent at the hunting lodge with my dad, uncle and cousins.
Or would it be a place that we all gathered? Where so many of my family could be found?
A 4th of July celebration at our cottage in Ontario. Where all of the family (both sides) had gathered to join the bonfire. Watch the fireworks.
I think that is the last memory that would flash for me.
Every one of the moments would be deep, profound and special. Surrounded by family. Love. Excitement and wonder.
by Sarah | Nov 10, 2011 | All About Me, All of Us, Crap, Random
[flickr id=”6070441022″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]The other day it was my Mom’s birthday. I took 2/3 of the kids over for cake & ice cream (1/3 was in trouble). While there it was the usual sort of gaiety and confusion that occurs when so many grandchildren are in one place.
The night was winding to a close when I commented about next year being a big birthday for my mom. She looked at me in confusion and asked what I meant.
“Well, you’ll be turning sixty.”
“No.”
“Mom. You were born in ’52. Next year is 2012. You’ll be sixty.”
“Oh. I thought this was my 58th birthday. I’m 59?”
I laughed and said, “Yeah. Happy birthday I just stole a year from you.”
Ooops.
Quite possibly the crappiest gift I’ve ever given.
by Sarah | Nov 3, 2011 | All About Me
[flickr id=”6248354420″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’…
into the future…
~Steve Miller Band
A week ago time was flying by. Christmas was getting close far too fast. The weeks passed by with a rapidity that baffled me. Where did 2011 go?
Now?
Well, hell…now I’ve added a few hours a day at a job to my list of craziness and tasks to get done. I signed up for NaBloPoMo without thinking too hard about it. Between the family, my job, trying to get my photography prompts handled, and my writing I’m expecting myself to fit in blogging too. Wouldn’t be a problem if I had 30 days of topics in my head.
Still I’m going to try. To pull myself away from the craziness and pressures I’ve put on myself and have as a normal course to come here and relax. Blogging shouldn’t be a pressure. So I won’t look at NaBlo as pressure – but as my daily escape from insanity.
by Sarah | Oct 28, 2011 | All About Me, Random
[flickr id=”5420056414″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Five years ago I had a 6 month old and an 18 month old at home. I was working part time as a waitress at Bob Evans. Riley’s autism was making itself more clearly known. Both girls were in Early Intervention therapies.
Life was hectic crazy.
So when I ended up needing an emergency hysterectomy and I was off work for a couple of weeks I decided to stay off work permanently.
Today I rejoined the work force.
In a sort of ‘dream’ job for the avid reader and aspiring writer – I’ll be working in a one of our local libraries. I had my interview today and got the call just a few hours later.
Right now I’m nervous about finding a babysitter for the very short time I’ll need one…and about whether I will earn enough to make it work. I believe and hope that it will work itself out.
I’m excited. I’m trepidatious.
I know it’s the right time. Part of me hoped I’d never have to go back, but I know I need to.
Wednesday I start.
The next chapter.
by Sarah | Oct 12, 2011 | All About Erik, All About Marriage, All About Me
He was the first to ask US on a date. He included my beautiful three year old on our first date. He thought of us before he thought of me. He took us to an appropriate kid-friendly place. He talked to Brandon, he made Brandon laugh. And when dinner was over, Brandon looked at Archie and said, “Are you coming home to see Mimi and Papa?” The deal was sealed…he was special.
I held back, afraid to give up my heart. I couldn’t tell him I loved him…I was terrified of my past repeating itself. But once I was able to make that step, everything fell into place. Engaged and a wedding date planned before we’d hit the six month point. A fall wedding, as I’d dreamed.
There wasn’t a doubt…WE would be married. Not just Archie, and I…but Brandon, too. He asked Brandon permission to marry me, and he had Brandon give me the ring – sending my mother into a fit of tears. The ceremony would involve Brandon, and we’d be announced as a family.
And so we were. Our small family embarking on new territory. Making a path none of us was too sure how to follow. But we trudged ahead and forged it together.
The first year was tough as I pursued roles in Community Theater as well as marriage and mommy-hood. But from there, community theater was put on hold to focus on family.
We’ve had our struggles…financially, and emotionally. But we’re now at nine years and stronger than ever.
He’s the one that’s supported me, no matter what my dream or desire. He believes in me when I’m not so sure I believe in myself. He tells me daily that I’m beautiful, or a good wife, or both. He is proud of me as his wife, and as a mother.
So Archie, thank you for nine years of wedded bliss (and miss)…our struggles made us stronger…and your love makes me better.
