by Sarah | Nov 2, 2009 | All About Family
In the morning when you rise
I bless the sun, I bless the skies
I bless your lips, I bless your eyes
My blessing goes with you
In the nighttime when you sleep
Oh I bless you while a watch I keep
As you lie in slumber deep
My blessing goes with you
This is my prayer for you
There for you, ever true
Each, every day for you
In everything you do
And when you come to me
And hold me close to you
I bless you
And you bless me, too
When your weary heart is tired
If the world would leave you uninspired
When nothing more of love’s desired
My blessing goes with you
When the storms of life are strong
When you’re wounded, when you don’t belong
When you no longer hear my song
My blessing goes with you
This is my prayer for you
There for you, ever true
Each, every day for you
In everything you do
And when you come to me
And hold me close to you
I bless you
And you bless me, too
I bless you
And you bless me, too
~Celtic Woman – The Blessing
(Day one of NaBloPoMo and I’m already cheating…but really, the song called to me…I thought the words were beautiful…so I tied in some pictures of my wonderful family…what better way to start a month of posts?)
by Sarah | Oct 30, 2009 | All About Home
And thinking I should join NaBloPoMo for force my way through this block I’m having! Anyone else up for it? But, in the mean time I’ve gotten a few things done around here – and others are in the middle of being done….
I redid a lamp and an end table…and so proud of what I did!! I’m determined to bring some color into my beige room, and using my mom’s quilt as inspiration for the colors.
The table before:
The lamp before:
And both after…..
(that’s the top of the table w/ distressing…)
So happy with my results. I’m waiting until after I’m done with all of this madness:
(that is just a whisper, a teeny-tiny note of all the crafts I have half-done and done for Christmas this year)
Before I finish with the new pillows (w/ the same fabric as the lamp as well as other fabric).
Tomorrow is Samhain/Halloween (which I have done nothing for *eep*) and then after that…November! The days are passing faster than I care to think about – but we’re all still here! Here’s to hoping November is far better with my posting – just need to force my way through this block!
by Sarah | Oct 24, 2009 | All About Molly, Autism
Riley has never been one for communication. She didn’t speak her first word until she was almost 2. Years of Speech Therapy have yielded a capability to say words and even full sentences. But actual communication? It’s a struggle and you’re never sure that she’s even actually being truthful – or just agreeing to get the conversation over.
When it is time to have a serious conversation with her, it’s like she instinctively gets the ‘confrontation’ vibe (even if not in trouble) and she shuts down. I wonder sometimes if we don’t need to resort to a complex series of clicks, whistles, and hand gestures to communicate with her.
The other night we had to have one of those. We wanted to talk about something – but to actually get her real input on it. We attempted a few formulas and eventually got a semblance of a conversation – consisting mostly of nods and yes’s or no’s from the Riley-girl – but a conversation.
We started by making sure she felt ‘safe’…sitting by Daddy w/ Mommy across the room – and sissy in bed. Daddy talking to her without looking directly at her. Occasionally I would ask a question in a different way.
A few words later, several head nods later…the conversation was over with Mommy having joined them on the couch and a snuggle session in full force. We were soon tackled by a little tornado of a monkey and all was righ twith the world again.
Have I mentioned how jealous I get going to blogs and seeing 2 & 3 year olds having true conversations and clever comments posted? Brandon was like that 10 years ago…now my girls are almost 4&5 and I still don’t have it with them…although Angel is getting closer than Riley (but Angel is pure goof-ball *G*).
But with baby-steps…eventually I’ll be having conversations with my daughter so brilliant that it will be ME not able to keep up…and I’ll be mystified that it was ever such a struggle to converse. At least, that is the dream.
by Sarah | Sep 15, 2009 | All About Family, All About Home, Holidays
Did you know that there are only 100 days left until Christmas?
Two days ago I got hit with the bug. Yup, already. I’ve told Archie to make me list of his co-workers and friends that he wants included on the list. Because I’m making plans.
Last year I made well over 1000 cookies, that we pigged out on, I sent in a plate w/ hubs to work, I went to a cookie exchange and took a plate of ALL my cookies-not just my exchange cookies. I took them to my parents – and we ate them ALL.
This year I’m all about the homemade gifts. I can’t go into too much detail because people read this blog that will get some of those gifts 😉 But I’m making my list, and I’m checking it a dozen times.
I have recipes lining up to make even MORE cookies than previous years, and candies. I’ll make gift bags of the goodies for friends and family…and for family I’ll also have some non-edible gifts.
The girls are getting homemade clothes, and I also have purchased clothes for both them and Brandon. So far I’ve only spent about $40 total and have all of their clothes shopping done (this far in advance! NEVER happens!).
I have gifts planned for all the youth (older, younger, and unborn)…and simple gifts for the extended family. If all goes well no one will be without a gift – even if it’s a goodie bag of dessert 😀 I’ve also started giving hubby ideas of what I want *G* Now if he’d do the same (although he’s sort of predictable…I think I can guess)
I hope you’re making your plans…it seems so far – but it passes by so fast! I hope to finish early…there are other holidays to plan for 😉
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Any blogging buddies that want a care package of my goodies better email me now so I can add you to my list!!
by Sarah | Sep 11, 2009 | All About Family, All About Me
I know what today is. I know what it means to our country. I remember every detail of 2001 in vivid detail…but since before 2001, this date has been difficult for me, for my family…in 1996 my family’s core was lost, the heart of us…my grandfather…so my post on 9/11 is for him. Perhaps tomorrow I will put up my other 9/11 reminder. Oh, and at surface glance I hate this picture of me, but then I see the pure joy on my face dancing with my grandfather and aesthetics be damned, it’s my favorite picture.
It was his birthday. I was young and such a very short kid…and he was TALL. I remember watching him put our coats in the closet and staring up, up, up at him and asking, “How tall are you?” With his sparkling eyes and laugh he informed me that he was over 6′. My eyes grew wide, and all I could say was, “But you’re so close to the ceiling! If you have ANY more birthdays you’ll go right through!”
His chair sat by the front door and the minute he sat the race was on – who would get the privilige of sitting on his lap, carrying on as deep a conversation as a child was capable of. Who would get to play with his round pot belly, and listen to his laughter.
He worked for GM and he was proud of it, and so were we.
When I close my eyes I can still smell his pipe and see the pipe carousel on his dresser. I can smell the cigarettes that he and grandma smoked.
I remember that after he retired he would watch soap operas during lunch.
And I remember the weddings – when my cousin and I would trade off and share him for the dance. “Grampa” by the Judds.
I remember his smile.
I remember his belly.
I remember the strength that he always carried in his soul and body.
I remember the pain that shot through my heart at the word…”cancer”. Once it was uttered it was less than a year. 10 months.
I remember the first time I saw him in the hospital-and how I had to run from the room because it made me physically ill to see my big strong grandfather lying in a bed weak and hooked up to tubes.
I remember his fight.
I remember when it was acknowledged in our hearts that the time to fight was over.
I remember how he held on – hours past when we thought we would lose him – because he would not let go until he’d gotten to hear the good-bye of all of his grandchildren, and my brother had been in surgery for his shattered wrist. Half an hour after the final phone call, he was gone.
I remember the sound of the tennis balls scattering across the hallway when my professor’s assistant walked up asking if she knew where I was…and all I could do was run to my car to get home as soon as I could.
From there it’s a blur…a long car ride from NC to NY. The arrangements. The funeral home. The droves of people I didn’t know, but who all knew him, overflowing the room.
The pain has lessened, resorted to a memory. For the most part I remember the love, the good things, the joy. But on this day every year the pain comes back to the forefront.
We love you still, and will always love you, Grampa.
by Sarah | Aug 28, 2009 | All About Erik, All About Molly, Autism, Fatherhood Fridays
The things we take for granted in our lives is amazing. We forget to stop and see the small miracles that occur every day, we just look for the big ones. I’m guilty of that when it comes to Riley. I thought she would grow and advance just like every other child. I didn’t want for her to have the problems I had to go through.
We went to the geneticist for over a year before we got a diagnosis. He wanted to observe her and watch how she grew before he said anything definitive.
After so many visits he was finally ready to tell us. The diagnosis was autism, specifically pervasive developmental disorder (PDD-NOS). My wife and I were stunned. It didn’t change how much we loved her, looked at her, or treated her – but I felt responsible. I was the one with all the problems growing up, and the lingering ones as an adult. My wife had a typical childhood, no major problems to speak of. Her first child was neurotypical. No, if Riley was ill, it was because of me and my blasted genetics.
Riley was still not talking, or smiling much. But she was playing “outside” of herself. Any situation where a lot of people were involved made her extremely uncomfortable, often resulting in a “meltdown” as we called them. She did not like for anyone to initiate touching or hold her unless it was herself. We saw a little girl locked inside herself, and we had to find the keys.
As Molly grew, we were enrolled in an assistance program that helped us find and meet her special needs. She met with various therapists each week to help her reach goals that were set forth to bring her development up to speed. She also was able to attend a special needs pre-pre-school , which she started out very withdrawn, but ended up comfortable and playing/learning/chatting with the other kids and teachers. My Riley was coming around, and I couldn’t have been prouder.
Riley began to talk, she had been saying some words, but now she was really talking. It was very difficult to understand her sometimes, at least for me. My wife spent all day with her and it was easier for her to pick up Riley’s speech. But she was improving. Her weight was always on the low side, but her height was average to tall. Her was growing, and it was long platinum blonde with curls at the end. Her hair was very fine, but it was healthy. Her appetite was increasing, but there were certain things she would not touch, probably due to texture or feel. She would give quick hugs, and sometimes we could kiss her. She was improving all the time, making big and small leaps in progress.
Today Riley is a little personality. She is still withdrawn and still has her “quirks” – but daily she reminds us of how far she’s come – and how much farther she is destined to go. I still struggle with what I’ve done right, or wrong – and with my own self-blame…but nothing cheers me like a hug and a kiss from my own mini-me. My Alligator. My Riley.
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I apologize for the delay in the latest installment from Archie!! I kept forgetting to edit it. This was the final installment in the ‘Real Men Don’t Cry’ Portion. I’m hoping to keep nudging the hubs to make posts on a variety of subjects – because I know he has a lot more to say! So Fatherhood Fridays are far from over!!
