by Sarah | Aug 24, 2015 | All About Kennedy, All About Me, All of Us, Crap, Random, Redefining Perfect
We’ve all seen the TV show, seen the urban-legend like tales of women that didn’t know they were pregnant. Most of us, especially those that have been pregnant, all say “No way. But, how?”
I sure felt that way for years. I mean, with Denver I had symptoms before I knew. With Molly, I didn’t really have symptoms before I knew, but after a couple of weeks it hit me. In my first pregnancy I got huge, there was no denying something was going on. With my second, the distinct basketball at my waistline was a rather clear clue.
I sure never thought anyone could miss the fact they were pregnant.
Until it happened to me.
When Molly was born, Erik & I agreed that was it. Two was our limit. Financially and space-wise (TINY house, have I mentioned?). We were done. Finito. Kaput. I was breastfeeding, had the pill and we took every precaution we possibly could. Well, just about. At no time in our lives was there any less than 3 forms of birth control happening – and with a new baby in the house sleep was often a more precious commodity than alone time (You know that commercial where the couple gets a hotel room and the second the blinds are closed they pass out instead of sexy-time? Yeah…sort of like that.)
At four months of age, Molly’s silent reflux came to the forefront, as did her FTT. I (stupidly) stopped breastfeeding by her (stupid) pediatricians advice and switched to formula in a desperate attempt to have her gain weight (what a stupid, stupid thing…but that’s a story for another day).
All of the health care visits for Molly kept me busy. I was working as a waitress at nights. I was busy, tired, not paying much attention whatsoever. Life was nuts.
Once in a while I got an odd pain that I swore hit right on my cervix – which was really odd considering my status as a non-preggo mom of two.
In December 2005 I wrote the following on my LiveJournal (remember those days?) entry:
I feel pregnant still/again. Nearly 100% sure I’m not…because it would be almost physically impossible to be…and if I was, I’d be about 6 months along right now and a bit bigger than I am…so I think I have another cyst. Probably pretty nasty too, because when I was taking a bath the other night I realized one side of my abdomen is relatively solid. There’s definitely something in there. I’m still 10 lbs. above pre-preggers weight and I don’t eat a ton…I eat like I always have. My boobs are still a cup size over pre-preggers and leaking…and I’m moody as Hell…I’ve started getting the sharp pains around my ovary area that I got when I had my last one…but they aren’t as frequent.
Weird, right?
What did I do about all of the oddities?
Not a damn thing. Not for a month.
January came and around mid-month another really odd thing happened.
5:30AM January 17th. No school, Erik didn’t work, I didn’t work until about 5:30PM. All was quiet.
My eyes flew open. I was wide awake.
Mind you, I am nowhere near a morning person – if I do wake up at that time I’m usually half dead. But nope, not that day, I was wide-eyed-pie-eyed.
I set my hand on my stomach and said, “What the hell?”
For a split second I’d thought I felt a baby move. You know, the butterfly wing-touches.
Once again, did I do anything?
Nope. I blew it off as GAS. Yeah.
Another two whole weeks went by before I finally decided to just pick up a pregnancy test at the grocery store to shut up that weird nagging voice in the back of my head.
Because really – there was no way I was pregnant.
Right?
Test came up positive.
I freaked the hell out. Crying rivers of tears. We couldn’t afford this. We didn’t have room. I called Erik at work, sobbing and asked him to come home. I kept telling him I couldn’t say anything over the phone but he forced it out of me, and he was home twenty minutes later.
Despite the positive test in my hands, I still didn’t believe it. I called the doctor’s office and his fabulous nurse told me to come in first thing in the morning for the blood test. I had to wait another 24 hours before that amazing nurse called me before thy even opened to give me the results. I was, in fact, pregnant. She then said…
“Let me see if we can get you scheduled in about 4 weeks from now. By these numbers I’d say you’re very early, about 4 weeks.”
My response was immediate protest.
“No. You don’t understand. My first symptom was the baby kicking. I’ve felt it move. I’m sure I’m way beyond 4 weeks along.”
In surprise, she agreed we had to get in for an ultrasound ASAP.
4 days later I found out I was having a girl – on the very first ultrasound.
I was 23 weeks.
She was born at 36 weeks.
The doctor said I set a speed record for him in pregnancies.
In my defense, after this visit my pregnancy did far more than set a speed record. It was like the minute my pregnancy was confirmed my body took it as a big thumbs up to REALLY let loose.
I had SEVERE pain (Pubic Symphysis Diastasis) – so bad I couldn’t roll over in bed at night. I blew up and looked pregnant within a week (I hadn’t up until then). I was put on modified bed rest within a month of my ultrasound – true bedrest when I went into pre-term labor at 35 weeks (lifted @36 weeks). It became almost a nightmare once I knew I was pregnant…
But for 23 weeks I didn’t know I was pregnant!
The results were so worth it, though.
I mean, what would we do without our crazy, cooky, stubborn angel?
by Sarah | Aug 19, 2015 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, I'm A Reader, Redefining Perfect, Wordy Wednesday
Well, since the last time I’ve posted on what I’m reading, I surpassed my Goodread’s goal of 50 books. On top of what I’ve been writing (which makes my head spin)…that’s quite a bit. I’ve had a few memorable reads, and a few not so much. Despite my earlier claims of what I was reading next, I only read one of the two books. I haven’t managed to read The Glass Magician yet, but I really need to ASAP. It’s bugging me. Unfortunately I have a handful out from the library, too.
Anyway, onto what I’ve been reading, what I’ve read, and what I will be reading next.
What I’ve Read
Texts from Jane Eyre – This hilarious book had me rolling and reading aloud or showing it to my husband, who has found it as funny as me (that never happens). I’ve been ordered to “buy a copy” for us to have (I borrowed it from the library). So in my next Amazon order this book will be coming home for good. The Harry Potter one was funny, but the Jane Eyre, Gilgamesh and Achilles really had me going. Totally awesome.
Jane – by April Lindner. In a totally ironic turn, I read this right before the Jane Eyre book above. It was sold as a modern retelling of Jane Eyre, though the characters all had slightly different names, etc. I found I enjoyed it myself because I read it more as a book with a nod to the original instead of a strict retelling. It wasn’t my favorite read of the year, but I liked it enough to be looking forward to her other “retelling” Catherine (for Wuthering Heights, of course). I’d been wanting to read both of these books based on the covers alone for a long time and was thrilled to find them both at my Half Price on my birthday…so of course I snatched them up. 🙂
We Were Liars – OMG, if this book wasn’t a whole big lot of What-the-f*@kery, I don’t know what is. It was a quick read and I found myself REALLY wanting to get through it to find out what exactly was going on, and to get it out of my lfie. Worst part is I guessed at least part of the giant twist pretty much two chapters in…but then when the big twist came and I was proved right and then some I could only just sit there going “WTF did I just read? WTF did I just spend 3 hours doing? WTF?” I will never get that time back and I’ve already sold the book back to Half Price Books because I mean…WHAT?
What I’m Reading
Unsweetined – I am not a non-fiction reader, but I’ve taken two out from the library so far, with a third on its way. Sometimes bios interest me, and I’ve been curious about Jodie Sweetin’s for a while. I’m a few chapters in, and I really like her voice. It’s easy and conversational. I think this one I might actually finish. I was a big Full house fan and always liked Stephanie…so some of the little details are fun to read. I think this one’ll be a quick read.
Strange Highways – This is sooooo not my typical book. I’m not even that far in, honestly. Only reason I picked it up was because it’s a book club read. My biggest problem right now is that it’s not exactly pre-bedtime reading material, and that’s pretty much when I read. Period. So it’s tough for me to really get into it because I tend toward nightmares and last thing I want to do is encourage them 😉
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – Oh my some days it seems like we will never finish this one! It’ll only get worse as we get on because they get longer and longer, but I’m still so happy to be reading this with Kennedy when we can. Our biggest problem now is going to be finding time to read. Between schoolwork and chores and an earlier bedtime, our joint reading time is getting narrower. I think I know the perfect time, but it’s a matter of getting ourselves on a school year schedule before we can make it a thing.
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What I’m Reading Next
The Glass Magician – Oh my goodness I was supposed to have this read and the next book “borrowed” from Amazon already, but I’ve been reading more print than electronic lately. I really, really intend to read this very soon. I just need to sit down and do so. One of these days I’ll pick up my Kindle instead of a print book. I really do want to see what happens next in this series. I really loved the first book and I think I’m a little afraid the series won’t hold up (it’s happened so often). Fingers crossed I get to it soon.
I Don’t Know What You Know Me From – by Judy Greer. Another of the non-fictions and auto-biographies. I like Judy Greer. I think her book sounds fun. It’s a library borrow so I’ve got a time-frame in which I have to finish it. lol. Hopefully that motivates me to do just that.
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34 Pieces of You – This one’s been on my TBR for a while. I figured no time like the present to borrow it from the library (LOVE my library’s new system that lets you request books from other branches, about time Hickville Library, about time). Based on the description it seems reminiscent of a book I read a couple years back, Thirteen Reasons Why…although I’m sure it’s totally different. I guess we’ll see. Another library book with a time frame on it. Here’s hoping.
*~*
And that’s where I’m at for now. More books coming in the near-future I’m sure. Here’s hoping I get through them all quick. 😀
by Sarah | Aug 18, 2015 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, I'm A Reader, Redefining Perfect, Top Ten Tuesday
I didn’t start out as a big Harry Potter fan.
What got me started was us scoring free tickets to a pre-screening of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire at the local theater. We took Denver, and both Erik & I walked out of the theater saying to each other, “We have got to read those books.”
Unfortunately at the time, only five books were out. I blazed through the first three, slowed down for the fourth and TRUDGED through book 5. Sure, some very important events happen during it, and things take a huge turn — but it was sooooo depressing and dark and dreary and did I mention depression? By the time I finished the sixth book had been released, but I’d nearly forgotten the events of previous books, and by the time Deathly Hallows came out people were being mentioned that I couldn’t remember to save my life.
By the time I was done I said “Well, they were good…but I don’t get the fanatic love.”
So a few years ago I decided to give it the old college try again. This time all seven books were in front of me and I read through them one right after another without break.
And a light bulb came on–I got it.
Unlike most die-hards, though, I love the movies equally (almost separately). Yes, they left a TON out, but I don’t begrudge them for it.
And so, when it came time to do a TTT for my favorite HP characters, well…it was tough.
1. Hermione Granger – A strong, smart, exceptionally capable young woman. A girl wise beyond her years, not just book smart. I have no problem with my girl looking up to her. “Book! And cleverness! There are more important things – friendship and bravery.”
2. Luna Lovegood – A ‘different’ character. She has faced teasing, but accepts herself as she is and isn’t ashamed to be who she is. She knows she’s different and doesn’t mind, she’s comfortable in her own skin. She always brings a smile to my face when she’s on the page or screen. “I think they think I’m a bit odd, you know. Some people call me ‘Loony’ Lovegood, actually.”
3. Professor Minerva McGonagall – Another strong woman (Rowling is good at those). Second in command at Hogwarts and becomes Headmaster in Dumbledore’s various absences. Underneath her stern, commanding, no-nonsense exterior lies a wit and humor shown a few times throughout the books/movies. “Hogwarts is threatened! Man the boundaries. Protect us!”
4. Hagrid – Big, lovable Hagrid. What list would be complete without him? He’s made me laugh and cry and is loyal to a fault. He believes good will win, though he knows bad can happen. He survived a stint in Azkaban, albeit brief, and was still as loveable after. He shows an inner strength through that I have to admire. Plus I’m a sucker for the “big teddy bear” type. “No good sittin’ worryin’ about it. What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.”
5. Sirius Black – Everyone needs a father figure. In a time when Harry really needed one, Sirius was there as best he could be. He was always an owl or fireplace away, even at risk to his own safety. Sirius was dark and light wrapped into one in some ways. His years in Azkaban had chipped away at something inside him until he was angrier, I think. Still, around Harry he was always warm. “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”
6. Remus Lupin – Probably the best Defense Against the Dark Arts professor Hogwarts had. He actually taught the students valuable lessons that they would later use. Most of all, he helped Harry find answers to his past. He had a dark part of him he despised, never more than when he was alone without the friends he’d trusted with his secret years before. “Well, well…I’m impressed. That suggests that what you fear most of all is, fear. Very wise, Harry.”
7. Nymphadora Tonks – Yet another strong woman, who was very confident in herself and who she is. She battles for what is right, and for the man she loves (even against his own self-doubts). She’s also fun, and smart in her own right. And really, who doesn’t love her metamorphmagus abilities? “I was never a prefect myself. My Head of House said I lacked certain qualities.” … “Like the ability to behave myself.”
8. Molly Weasley – The ultimate mum. Strong head of household, clearly in love with her husband, disciplinarian, yet loving mother, and of course…ultimate defender of her children. She always amuses me in the way she quickly changes her personality on a dime. “Not my daughter, you BITCH.”
9. Ron Weasley – Harry’s best friend, with some real serious jealousy issues. You can’t blame him, it’s not easy being best friends with “the chosen one”. As Hermione wisely points out, he’s always had to compete with all the brothers ahead of him, it’s hard to do so with your best friend. Throughout the series he grows and changes, and in the end he learns the most important lesson of all, that friends mean everything. “We’re with you, whatever happens.”
10. Harry Potter – This really wasn’t an “of course”. Harry had a lot of flaws. HE wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and he makes some silly moves from time to time…but he is a child when it starts and time and some painful experiences help him learn and grow. In the end he is the central character and we’d have no story without him. “You won’t be killing anyone else tonight. You won’t be able to kill any of them ever again.”
I wasn’t going to include Harry or Ron in this list…but I figured I sort of really should…and also I’m probably going to do another list with MORE of my favorite HP characters, because really, 10 isn’t enough.
And those are my first set of favorite HP characters. Who are yours?
by Sarah | Aug 13, 2015 | All About Denver, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Blogging Life, Disney, Make-A-Wish, Redefining Perfect
As if it wasn’t clear yet by my bevy of posts – we had an amazing time at Disney and Universal in Florida. I have only scratched the surface of the stories to tell, and best we’re going back in a couple of months to make some new stories.
However, for all the wonder and fun we had, there were a few hiccups in the road.
Our first few days, the three final days of October, were gorgeous. Beautiful weather. Low 70’s, sunny, low humidity. Just flat out amazing.
Then November 1st dawned.
A high of 47 degrees and strong winds. I mean, strong.
So we put on our jeans and returned to Universal for our last day with one thing in mind…well, for Erik and I.
The one ride we’d missed on our first day. The Rip Ride Rockit Roller Coaster. Erik had been intimidated by it, but after a few days of roller coasters, he was ready to try the intimidating coaster.
Yeah.
Remember that detail about the weather?
Strong winds?
The ride was closed. Because of the high winds, and the intense height of the coaster, it wasn’t safe to run that day.
Of course we still had plenty of fun that day, but we were sorely disappointed that we’d missed this ride.
And yes, we’ve already said that the first ride we go on this year is the Rip Ride Rockit. We aren’t chancing another turn in the weather.
by Sarah | Aug 12, 2015 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, I'm A Writer, Redefining Perfect, Wordy Wednesday
To be honest, I don’t remember what I wrote this for. I know it involved a word prompt, but that’s all I know for sure.
Of course, that’s half the fun of going through old files and finding these things. You never know what you’re going to find. I like the path this one takes, from one end of the spectrum to the other.
*~*
WORTHLESS
Ripped open
I bled for you
Rivers of tears
There was something so wrong
It was me
It was you
Ashamed within
I tried so hard
Afraid of you
It was nothing close to love
It wasn’t me
It was you
New chance
New, different path
It’s nothing new
Somehow it is always my fault
It wasn’t me
It was you
Torn down
Trod on
Broken hearted ache
Physical pain, emotional destruction
It could be me
It could be them
What is this
A new life
Growing withing
No longer worthless, alone; there’s hope
It wasn’t me
It was him
*~*
More found stories coming soon.
by Sarah | Aug 11, 2015 | All About Molly, All of Us, Blogging Life, Redefining Perfect, Top Ten Tuesday
Definitely time to get my kids on my top ten. I’m going to start with Molly this time around because – well, luck of the draw. 😀
Molly is the middle girl, and unique in so many ways.
She’s a challenge, and yet makes life ultimately fun.
Her heart is as big as anything, and we treasure every moment with her, even when she’s making us pull our hair out with some of her quirks.
So here is my top ten list about Molly, our little alligator (that’s aggilator to us)
1. She’s an artist. Most of the time you can find her bent over a piece of paper, drawing her favorite My Little Pony characters (Fluttershy is her favorite, by the way). And most of all? She’s really good. I envy her talent.
2. Literal. Not to be stereotypical or anything…but MAN is this girl literal about everything. You have to be careful what you say, because she will take you completely to heart.
3. Every O’clock. This is one of the quirks that has come up this summer. Perhaps because she’s counting down the time until school, or maybe it has nothing to do with that, I don’t know…but she has to see every o’clock. If she misses it, she is bothered and watches extra close for the next one, even cheering when she sees it. Now, let’s just hope this doesn’t mess her up during the school year.
4. Model Dreams. A few years back I posted about Molly’s dreams of being a model. She still holds onto that dream, and I can still see her achieving it.
5. Seriously, those eyes. 
She got those eyes from her daddy, and they are stunning. To this day they maintain that ice blue from her baby days into today. Just gorgeous.
6. Perches. I don’t know how this started or why, but Molly doesn’t ever…well, sit. She perches. On her feet, knees up. I was asked to not let her wear skirts to school because of this (or put shorts under them). Somehow it makes her feel comfortable. I’m sure she’ll eventually grow out of it, but for now it’s her thing.
7. Blind Love. No matter what, now matter who, no matter anything…Molly loves blindly. Once you’re in her circle, she will always love you and never forget you (I do mean never, mind like a steel trap). Her heart is so big and dear.
8. Comics. This goes along with her art thing…she makes her own comics. She draws the cells and writes the funnest, most unique stories I’ve seen.
9. My Little Pony. She is all about the ponies. That is all.
10. Conquering Fears. Molly has a lot of fears that compete with her dreams. She loved horses, but was afraid of climbing on top of one that stood so very tall…in the end, she sucked in her fear and climbed into the saddle. At Disney ALL the rides terrified her. With some encouragement and me by her side she eventually rode the Dumbo Flying Elephant ride, and then managed to get through Soaring (all tied to her supreme fear of heights). She has already said next time we go to Disney she is going to try a roller coaster, and more rides! She may take a gentle nudge, but that girl pushes her limits and finds so much fun.
And that is my big girl Molly. I can’t begin to encapsulate her in 10 items, but it was a start. She’s my Molly, my gator, my big, unique, beautiful girl.
She was born at 36 weeks.
