by Sarah | Jan 6, 2012 | All About Molly, Autism, Crap, Special Needs
[flickr id=”6650056311″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Every day without fail I pull into the parking lot of the elementary school to pick up Angel. At the same time every day I get into line behind the other parents, sometimes even in front of the line.
85% of the time so I don’t feel rushed to shove her in the car and go I end up toward the back of the line. This prime spot affords me a clear view of the area the older kids have their recess in. It’s mostly parking lot, but to the right there’s a large grassy area with a playground.
Every day in dry weather above freezing they run around like little ants. Hustling and bustling so fast it’s hard to keep track of them. All playing together. Laughing, shouting. Playing tag, pushing each other on the swings. Kicking balls, sliding down the slide. Talking. Laughing. Being with friends.
Except one.
One girl.
My girl.
My beautiful Riley.
Sure she runs. In circles. Behind the other kids.
Mirroring play.
Never participating in it.
Sometimes walking slow, all by herself. Other times watching, laughing after the joke has passed and the group has moved on. Never right in the moment.
And every time I see it, it breaks my heart.
She loves school.
I have seen in the contained space of the classroom how her friends aide her, pull her in to participate, make sure she is included.
It is only in recess that I see this.
If she feels the pain I do when I see it, she can’t express it. Or chooses not to.
But I know it’s there. I know that she will always remember the ‘different’ she felt. I know this, because her dad remembers the same feeling. The same sense of ‘different’. The same attempts to participate without the sense of how.
It’s something I don’t know how to fix for her. I can’t go to the school and force the kids to make the effort in recess. It’s their wild time, it’s expected to just run free.
But still…
What I wouldn’t give for her to be pulled in to the games. Instead of mirroring, melting in.
by Sarah | Jan 5, 2012 | All About Me
[flickr id=”6637796263″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]I suck at Resolutions. New Years I try to ignore. It’s just another day – another year. Life doesn’t change just because I have to change the date I write on my checks (yes, I still do write checks – about 3/mo).
Plus if something is a “resolution” I’m almost guaranteed to crap out on it. I have a problem with ‘stick-to-it-iveness’. It’s a long standing problem that I don’t see getting resolved (Pardon the pun).
So when I saw over at The Band that instead of making unattainable resolutions, they were bringing it with the statement “I will…” and naming attainable goals through ideas, thoughts, and attitudes; I was ready to participate in that.
This is what I WILL do…
I WILL respect myself. Always my own worst critic, I forget this key point too often.
I WILL practice patience. Instead of getting annoyed at every little interruption I will stop, breathe, and actually listen.
I WILL stop carrying the world on my shoulders. In this past year I’ve become surly and grumpy, and I blame myself for carrying everything on my shoulders. It’s not on purpose, and Archie tries to get me to stop stressing – but my brain doesn’t work like that. It has to dissect every problem right then and there.
I WILL remember how to find the silver lining again. Tied to the previous statement, it seems like in the past few months my capability to find that silver lining has waned.
I WILL take better care of myself. This goes beyond a weight loss, getting fit, dieting type of deal. No. This is about taking better care of me – head to toe & brain to body. It’s not a goal weight, it’s a goal state of mind. Being a SAHM is wonderful, I love it – but I let myself go. The size of pants I have to buy now makes me cry & I hate pictures of myself because I don’t like what I’ve become. Slothful, and careless, eating nothing but crap, crap, and more crap. I’m better than that.
I WILL get out more. Going to see the Geek Girls, taking the kids to the zoo (hello membership) or just OUT in the warmer months. Everywhere I go I will take my camera, and I will enjoy what life Indiana has to offer (it does have something to offer, right?)
I WILL be disciplined in my efforts. I don’t need a minute by minute schedule – but I need some organization. For cleaning the house, for working on my writing, for just spending time with my family. Chaos hasn’t worked well in previous years. This year I need to try being organized for a change.
I WILL be brave & daring. I will step outside my comfort zone. Try something new, leave behind things that hold me back. This applies to writing, photography, and just life. Having social anxieties, this won’t be so easy…heck going to the gym on a regular basis is daring for me…and I’m doing that. I can do more.
by Sarah | Jan 4, 2012 | All About Denver, Crap, Random, The Teenager
[flickr id=”6087274981″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]At first I thought it might be the special needs babies, toddlers, kids…
I thought it might be the mountains of paperwork to deal with it all.
The endless doctor visits, medical terminology, therapists and IEP’s.
No. It’s not going to be any of that.
It’s going to be 1 word.
TEENAGER.
The surly attitude. The lack of common sense. The lack of respect. The lack of hygiene.
In brief shining moments you see the brilliance of his brain. The kindness of his heart.
Covering it all is the teenitude. The fact that we, as his parents, are just the biggest jerks, the meanest people, and so frickin’ annoyingly embarrassing.
According to the Scout leaders they see it all the time…and then there is the “lightbulb moment” when it all clicks and he becomes a human being.
We wait for that day.
Or death.
Whichever comes first.
Right now I’m thinking it will be death.
by Sarah | Jan 2, 2012 | All About Erik, All About Family, All About Marriage, All About Me
[flickr id=”5255380571″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]The New Years superstition says that whatever you do on the first day of the year you do all year.
For the first day of my year I was on a (no cost) date with my husband. We used an old Eversave purchase to go to the movies and a gift card to go to my husband’s favorite restaurant (Outback). We did lay down some cash for a tip, but after smuggling in snacks & water for the movie our day was pretty cheap.
If that’s how I’m going to spend my year I say…Bring It 2012!!!
*~*~*
We saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. It was pretty good. Not so sure it was as good as the first but it’s been a long time since I saw the first one. There were several open ends leaving room for another movie and unanswered questions. For a more in depth review it would be better to ask Archie for a full review…he does a pretty mean movie review when you ask him too.
*~*~*
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season filled with joy and family! Here’s to a great, prosperous and happy New Year!!
by Sarah | Dec 12, 2011 | All About Home, Holidays
*This is a re-post from last year. These cookies are so good they demand a re-post.
I have made a LOT of cookies in my 30+ years. I’ve tasted even more.
When it comes to cutouts, it’s tricky. Too much sugar and it’s just a sugar cookie – too little and they are way too dry.
I used to think my Mom’s were the best…but they always required a ton of frosting to counteract the dryness of the cookie (sorry, Mom) – I stopped making them when I got married and moved out. My aunt’s Christmas cookies, while good – were just never right either (and it’s been so long I can’t remember why).
I tried several recipes in the 8 years I’ve been married – and for the past 3 years I’ve stuck with these. I stumbled on the recipe when I was looking for Polish cookies – and that’s what these were called. BUT, the recipe called for Anise (*gag* *hurl* Blech)…and I was definitely not down with that. So I adapted the cookies to a flavor that was much better.
Let me tell you, this is the easiest dough I have ever worked with and the flavor, when done as I adapted it, is PHENOMENAL.
****
The Best Sugar Cutouts
1c. Butter
1c. Shortening
2c. Sugar
5 Large Eggs
7c. Flour
2Tbs. Baking Powder
1/2tsp. Salt
1/2oz. Almond Extract (original recipe called for Anise, this substitution makes deliciousness)
- Cream the Butter, Sugar and Shortening until smooth and fluffy
- Stir in the eggs one at a time until incorporated
- Add almond
- Mix in the first 6 cups of flour
- From here it’s by sight/feel. Add in flour until you get a moist batter. It should seem too sticky to roll, but solid enough to hold together.
- Chill the dough for at least 2 hours. Preferably overnight.
- Once thoroughly chilled, the dough is a dream to work with. Take off a handful and put the remainder back in the fridge while you roll it out for cutting.
- Place a hunk on a floured surface and roll out for cutting (about 1/8″ thick).
- Bake for 12-15 minutes in a 350* oven.
- Frost with frosting of your choice. I love a good buttercream w/ a touch of corn syrup for shine.
- Decorate all out for your holiday fun (and for Santa’s plate).
And that’s it! The strong almond flavor gives and added touch of yum. The cookies are moist enough that you could eat them plain…but really, who wants to? Frosting is 98% of why we eat the cookies, after all…right?
I hope you enjoy them if you try them. My search for the perfect cutout has finally come to a sweet and delicious end!!
by Sarah | Dec 10, 2011 | All About Kennedy, Crap, Random, WTF?
[flickr id=”6247831361″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Angel and Riley have the same amount of underwear. Riley has Dora, and Angel has Littlest Pet Shop. I made sure of this so that I would know who would need new and when and also to keep them separate since they wear the same size. It can get confusing w/ some Irish Twins in the house.
So last week I started to realize that as I did the laundry I was missing a LOT of Angel’s Littlest Pet Shop. They weren’t in the laundry, or in her room. Where could they be?
It was Archie that figured it out.
All week long instead of actually changing underwear in the morning, Angel was just putting her clean pair on top of her dirty pair. At last count she had five pairs on at one time.
Needless to say the situation has been corrected. But it was a heck of a laugh to see five pairs on underwear on that little goober.
