With the world still frozen over and us with just one vehicle this week, I have been feeling a bit of cabin fever. My camera was relatively neglected…but I managed a few photos – including my bright spot from this week in the arrival of my sexy new boots.
Boots, Baby…Sexy, Happy
Tough Love *Picture I staged for use on my other blog. Post title was Tough Love, so the picture is the same
Time for Dinner
Mid-day Delish
Muse Led
Love Lead
I Heart Mommy
Lingering *The remainders of the PICC linger behind
This is one of my most favorite ever pieces with one of my most favorite ever couples, Melissa & Ade, on So You Think You Can Dance. Just a touch of beauty and dance on a Saturday that is showing hope of a coming spring.
Way back when this picture was taken I sure thought I was. (Picture credit goes to my mom who had the fancy camera way back then…in FILM *Gasp*)
Back, 11 years ago, when Brandon was only 2. When I only had the one. When my co-parent was my own parents. When the biggest problem I dealt with was chronic BM issues (yeah, he’ll kill me if he ever reads this). When he was cute and adorable and obedient and kind and polite.
When life was “easy”.
Now there are three.
There is school. Homework. Teachers. Doctors. Specialists. Special Medicines. Bills. Cleaning. THREE kids. Doctors. THREE kids. Quirks. Hospitals. Marriage. Home repairs. Car maintenance. Cleaning. THREE kids.
Oh, did I repeat myself once or twice? Yeah. I know.
I don’t want to use the term “bad mother”…because, you know…it’s such a debate trigger.
Sometimes, though. Sometimes I look at myself and I see that I’m not good at this.
I don’t have patience.
I don’t have answers.
I don’t do the things that you’re supposed to. I love to read to myself, but get bored reading to my kids (shameful, I know).
I don’t have patience.
I don’t check homework every day after school.
I always miss deadlines for snack week, permission slips, all those things.
I don’t have patience.
I don’t give my kids daily baths. Or every couple of days. (But in my defense, my baths were 1x/week)
I use the TV as a babysitter.
I’m online too much (I’m trying to do better…some days I do better than others).
I don’t have patience.
…..
Are we detecting a common theme?
Sometimes I wonder what part of my brain actually thought growing up that I would grow into this ‘perfect’ mom. I saw myself doing it all. Crafts, dinner, cleaning…the perfect little household.
My ‘perfect’ has redefined itself into something that feels far from perfect for me.
It’s a process.
I’m working on redefining myself as a mom.
To snap less. To breathe and have patience. To do more cleaning. More cooking. Making sure I’m more involved in what my kids are doing in school.
I want to feel like I’m good at being a mom. Like I DESERVE the title. EVERY day. Not just now & then.
I’d call this Wordless Wednesday, but I don’t participate and really…me? No words? IMPOSSIBLE.
Now, before I get down to it, I have two quick notes to make.
1) In case you missed it, I have a writing blog. While I don’t normally direct traffic there, I wrote a post the other day that is just made of smiles. I want everyone to read it. So go there now and read TOUGH LOVE.
2) A very dear, very very good friend of mine has opened a blog. She’s just finding her footing, so she needs some love. Please stop on by her blog and leave her a comment. She has the best blog name ever: USING MY OUTSIDE VOICE.
I was making dinner for the family. Trying to create a wonderful meal for us all to sit down and eat.
Out of nowhere I was attacked. Senseless violence. The bacon built up a well of grease and out of nowhere hurled it at my face.
BURNS.
Ouch.
BACON IS EVIL.
*~*~*
*I can firmly attest that my husband will not agree with my statement.
**I can admit that while it is EVIL…it still tastes darn good…I totally ate the carcass of the bastard after it attacked me.
This past weekend I got a haircut/color, and a new dress. I was feeling infinitely beautiful & so taking self-p’s was easier than usual:
Dead On *I never do the whole ‘look right at the camera’ angle….
From behind *Had to show the full 360 effect of the cut 😉
This is my angle… More often than not
THE DRESS I had no reason to buy it. I have nowhere to wear it. I was looking for something different when it caught my eye. I tried it on just because I liked the color. But when I put it on…I.Felt.Beautiful. I had to buy it. And I did. Now…I just need somewhere to wear it.
**** Head on over to check out who else is flipping out:
