by Sarah | Oct 18, 2010 | All About Erik, All About Marriage, All About Me
For 45 hours….
There was no autism.
No CF.
No band practice or concerts.
No grades.
No screaming.
No tattling.
No doctors.
No therapists.
No tests.
No school.
No homework.
No racing, pounding little footsteps.
No punishments.
No attitudes.
No worries.
*****
For 45 hours…
We crossed a wine tasting off my 45X45 list.
We had adult conversation.
Toured a museum at our pace.
Walked the streets of the city we live so close to but hardly ever see.
Watched what we wanted to.
Ate at new places.
Held hands.
People watched.
Slept without alarm clocks.
Laughed.
Reconnected.
**
Our anniversary was this past week. This weekend we dumped the kids with their grandparents and had 45 hours to ourselves. It was wonderful, peaceful. We plan on doing it again much sooner than later.
It isn’t until you get away from it all that you realize how wrapped up in it you are.
Everyone needs a break. We took full advantage of ours.
And.
It.
Was.
Wonderful.
by Sarah | Oct 17, 2010 | Photography, Weekly Winners
All taken w/ Canon Rebel XTi.
For week 10/10-10/15/10
All of these pictures come from just a couple of days this week. The hubby and I are not at home right now, having taken advantage of a groupon that got us away from the kids and enjoying a suite at a hotel. So I’m still taking pictures, but they’ll have to wait until next week to be shown 🙂
Abandoned
Contrast
They See Me!
Colors
One Leaf to Tell the Story
Dry River to Somewhere
Bridge over Silent Water
Indian Summer
It brings flowers and fascinated girls
Take a picture, Mommy!
I had a tough time picking favorites, I took over 100 photos that day at the park. Due to my rush to get out the door, I haven’t uploaded any but these to my flickr account, but I did upload a bunch of pictures earlier in the week. Check out the rest of my photos HERE at my Flickr account.
That’s all for this week. Head on over to Lotus‘ digs to see more!!
by Sarah | Oct 16, 2010 | All About Me, Crap
Day 09 – Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted
It was middle school. The bowels of Hell.
I hated my life. I had one friend. I hated the way I looked, dressed…my acne, my glasses. Just two years of torture and teasing by my former friends and classmates had sent my fragile self-esteem into a nose dive.
My brother was on college visits with my dad, leaving my mom and I to find something to do. She decided that visiting her good friend at their camper would be a great idea. “Besides,” she informed me. “David* has a cousin about your age.”
I was oh-too-thrilled with that prospect. If she was anything like David (who may be reading this and I’m sorry, but you used to be…well, you remember)…I wanted nothing to do with her. If she wasn’t – well, she’d want nothing to do with me.
And so it goes that I met Julie*.
When I first saw her I figured I was done for. There was no way anyone with those looks would want anything to do with me. She had that it factor. You know the one. The one that screamed ‘popular’. Blonde hair, blue eyes, built like a….well, you get the idea. A year younger than me, she was taller, and far prettier. Yup, she’d classify me as the nerd everyone else did. My weekend was going to suck.
But it didn’t.
And she wasn’t.
She became my best friend. Instead of staying at David’s family’s trailer with my mom, I stayed at Julie’s. We talked, we laughed.
She LIKED ME. For who I was. Not knowing anything about my life at school, she didn’t treat me like those that decided in 6th grade that I was uncool (before I got the nerd markers of acne and glasses, they must have been psychic).
I begged to go back the next weekend, and the next. I begged for a trailer – and we got one, and a seasonal site just a few weeks later right at my birthday. Julie and I were always staying at each others trailers, sleeping in the tent. Eating Doritos and drinking hot chocolate (yes, together. Sounds yummy, doesn’t it?). Staying up into the night, never once passing gas and laughing (really, EVER). Sneaking out to be with the boys in camp, goofing off with nothing but the light of the moon.
We were inseperable.
For 3 summers, into winters.
Then I moved.
We did really good for a couple more years. I’d always visit when I got back to New York. Then she started college, I moved again. My visits to NY became less frequent. Our phone calls dissipated. Then she moved to Florida.
Time and distance separated us for many years. Then she found me again. Called me. Updated me on her life. That she was expecting a baby. For a month or two the communication resumed and then faded again.
Now, through the wonder that is Facebook we’ve found each other again. But it’s not the same.
She was there for me at a very important point in my life. She will always be remembered as my best friend. She will always be counted as a best friend. I know that if we saw each other face-to-face again it would be like old times. That is the wonder of true friendship.
Knowing now that she’s much closer to me than Florida (she moved again), I hope to see her again sometime soon. To meet her child, to get close to her again.
I never wanted us to drift apart. Life had other plans.
************
*Names have been changed. These people are all my friends on FB now, so they know who they are, but I never use real names without permission 😀
by Sarah | Oct 14, 2010 | All About Kennedy
She’s cute.
She knows it.
You can be downright furious with her, and she’ll turn her head, widen those huge eyes and give you a smile that almost forces you to melt into a puddle on the spot.
It’s dangerous.
It’s adorable.
It’s nearly impossible to stay mad, to keep your face even when it’s punishment time. Countless times we’ve sent her to her room for the sole purpose of laughing our asses off once she was out of sight.
From the time she was very tiny she had it. A smile that could knock your socks off. Goofy, bright, toothless.
Even now with a scary overbite (STOP.SUCKING.YOUR.THUMB!!)…
It didn’t matter the struggles she had.
The torticollis, hypotonia, a wrenched up little body…no. None of it mattered.
The kid had big ears and a virtual multitude of ridiculous expressions at her disposal.
She danced to her own music (and still does…only now she makes up words to go with that music too).
Nothing has ever stood in her way. Not
Not even her own self.
Her anger.
Her extreme, ear-splitting, gut-wrenching screams that came from a fresh hell we’d never heard before.
Her tendency to self-injure. Banging her head into hard wood floors, the corner of door frames. Ripping open the skin of her nose.
These moments scared us, and still do even as they’ve subsided into different behaviors. The self-injuries are fewer, and our fears are slightly lessened.
But it’s always been those eyes.
The big, brown doe-eyes like none you’ve ever seen. So ‘abnormally’ large that the optometrist feared she had glaucoma (she didn’t).
Once you mix in those with the smile you forget about the fits of anger.
As she’s gotten older she’s learned how to use them. Widening them, moving the eyes in just the right way. A skill that rivals those on America’s Next Top Model. Let me tell you, Angel’s got “Smize” (You ANTM fans know what I’m talking about 😉 ).
But beyond all of this. All of the surface of my little Angel…
There is strength.
Attitude.
And strength.
With that attitude and strength she has pushed past every hurdle life has thrown at her.
When life gave her torticollis, she forced herself to sit – gaining enough strength to overcome it.
When that turned into being stuck in the ‘airplane’ reflex, she rolled over and started to crawl. Forcing her way through that.
When she was given a left side weaker than the right, and we feared/assumed she wouldn’t walk, or would walk late…she shocked us all (including her PT) by walking on time. It was always shaky, bow-legged, but it was walking.
When life gave her dysphagia, making all forms of eating difficult – she never complained. She never cried out it. She swallowed her food whole. No, not good for her in any way, but she persevered.
With a smile and a scream.
When life gave her tibial torsion on top of her hypotonia, it still didn’t stop her. She kept walking, is still walking. Pigeon-toed and as klutzy as they come (is klutziness genetic?)…but now she runs, jumps and plays like the rest of them. The orthopaedists all say it’s self-repairing, ignoring the fact that her muscles arent strong enough to fix it – but she never lets anything like physical limitations stop her.
Diagnosed with CF.
It was more of a blow to us than it was to her.
She’s been blessed to be (mostly) healthy in the 3 years since her diagnosis. She takes her medicine with a smile, a laugh. She turns it into a game, giggling and laughing, reading and sitting quietly.
One day it will come, when the struggle will be tougher for her, for us all. When she is less “mostly healthy”. When we become familiar with the pulmonary unit at the hospital.
When it does I don’t worry for her spirit.
It’s indomitable.
Angel has had, and will have, her blue days.
But she will always find a smile in it.
As she always had, she will push past this struggle.
If anyone can survive something, surpass expectations, it’s her.
No matter what life throws at her, she will persevere.
I know this, because I know her.
Strong. Creative. Spirited. Curious. Big-hearted. Friendly. Happy. Stubborn. Bright. And always just a little bit (no…a LOT) goofy.
This kid will surpass us all.
Of that I have NO doubt.
I love you Angel…even when you’re on my last nerve.
*****************
*I have been blogging a LOT lately about Riley. Our struggles with school, her behavior from being in school, everything in between. To remind you (and us) that we have 2 other kids, I’ve decided to do a small series over the next few weeks highlighting each of the kids…starting with Angel. I apologize now for putting that song in your head – it’s in mine too 😉
by Sarah | Oct 12, 2010 | All About Me, Photography
For a theme this week I chose Reflections. But I didn’t want the typical mirror reflection….
With my new obsession
*It is intentionally the knife in focus…I was after my reflection, after all…not the delectable sweet goodness that is Nutella.
In the kitchen tile
With the kids
**** Head on over to check out who else is flipping out:
by Sarah | Oct 11, 2010 | All About Erik, All About Marriage, All About Me
He was the first to ask US on a date. He included my beautiful three year old on our first date. He thought of us before he thought of me. He took us to an appropriate kid-friendly place. He talked to Brandon, he made Brandon laugh. And when dinner was over, Brandon looked at Archie and said, “Are you coming home to see Mimi and Papa?” The deal was sealed…he was special.
I held back, afraid to give up my heart. I couldn’t tell him I loved him…I was terrified of my past repeating itself. But once I was able to make that step, everything fell into place. Engaged and a wedding date planned before we’d hit the six month point. A fall wedding, as I’d dreamed.
There wasn’t a doubt…WE would be married. Not just Archie, and I…but Brandon, too. He asked Brandon permission to marry me, and he had Brandon give me the ring – sending my mother into a fit of tears. The ceremony would involve Brandon, and we’d be announced as a family.
And so we were. Our small family embarking on new territory. Making a path none of us was too sure how to follow. But we trudged ahead and forged it together.
The first year was tough as I pursued roles in Community Theater as well as marriage and mommy-hood. But from there, community theater was put on hold to focus on family.
We’ve had our struggles…financially, and emotionally. But we’re now at six years and stronger than ever.
He’s the one that’s supported me, no matter what my dream or desire. He believes in me when I’m not so sure I believe in myself. He tells me daily that I’m beautiful, or a good wife, or both. He is proud of me as his wife, and as a mother.
So Archie, thank you for eight years of wedded bliss (and miss)…our struggles made us stronger…and your love makes me better.
**********
*My anniversary is actually tomorrow, but as that’s the day for the Flip Side post, I’m posting this a day early. It’s mostly a re-post of one I made 2 years ago…but it’s still posted with the same heart.
For 45 hours….
