by Sarah | Nov 10, 2012 | All About Erik, All About Family, All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Indy Geek Girls
When you’re younger, making friends is so simple.
You meet at the playground and an instant friendship forms. You sit next to someone at your desk in class and in no time you’re best buds asking to sleep-over.
When you’re an adult it’s harder.
You have a lifetime of experiences, traumas, joys, and broken hearts to muddle through. Walking up to a random stranger in a grocery store and creating a friendship seems – well weird to our grown up brains.
A few weeks ago my friend Heather was talking about a book she’d read – [amazon_link id=”0345524942″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]MWF seeking BFF[/amazon_link] – about a woman that set out to find a new BFF by going on one ‘friend date’ a week for a year. Something I would never have the courage to do.
After I stopped working to take care of my girls – my ‘friend’ world sort of disappeared. I’m terminally shy when I’m not in a theater situation. Even meeting my own neighbors gave me a case of the nerves. Erik is similar for different reasons and in different ways. For a long time I felt a isolated. I loved being home, but I missed having friends to chat with. While I’d gone to high school in Indiana – I didn’t know anyone in the town we live in now. I also didn’t like going out with two very young children, one of whom gets over-stimulated in crowd situations.
Through the past six years of blogging, and most especially the past three years of becoming more involved in the local blogging community, not to mention it being easier to get out with older children than with two babies – life has managed to help me find those elusive adult friends. Somehow life has even managed to do the same for my husband.
We’ve met intentionally, accidentally, incidentally, and yet somehow all of the friendships were destined-to-be. From neighbors that I finally got out to meet, to bloggers that totally used to intimidate me & now make me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in years, to people life threw into my (or Erik’s) path at just the right time.
I’d forgotten what it felt like to have a circle.
It’s a really good feeling.
by Sarah | Nov 7, 2012 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, Cystic Fibrosis, Special Needs
When one kid is in the hospital you disappear into a bubble.
The world outside of that room fades away and you are nothing but medicines and doctors and nurses and monitors.
The last time we were in the hospital we didn’t know Denver had CF. We were there for just three days and everyone was always visiting Kennedy.
This time it was Denver in the hospital and Kennedy couldn’t visit (they don’t even like CF kids living together but…well, siblings and all that). We couldn’t all be up there, and we had to switch things around and find someone to watch the girls and – chaos reined until my in-laws were good enough to take them over the weekend.
We were able to focus on the one child. The sick one. The tests and orders and plans for what would happen with him.
In the bubble things are protected – but you don’t feel whole.
Coming home is chaos. Suddenly girls are screaming and running and Denver is teasing them and it’s loud and crazy and gives me such a headache.
The bubble bursts into wild days of life bursting at the seams and homework and chores and stories of all kinds.
The bubble is safe, protected, sheltered.
Life on the outside might be dangerous, but suddenly you have peace you didn’t before.
You are home.
You are whole.
by Sarah | Nov 2, 2012 | All About Denver, Cystic Fibrosis, Special Needs
Just a couple of days ago I lamented the wait to get into a doctor. I think I knew then. I just knew. That’s why I panicked.
I ignored the instinct and let myself be soothed.
And he ended up here.
He probably would have anyway, but the timing might have been better – but that is a different post for another day when I can step away from my anger.
Before the doctor entered the room, she was already sending the nurse to find him a room, writing orders for strong antibiotics, a PICC line and extensive breathing treatments.
He’s in until Monday.
But he was just diagnosed a year ago.
Already he’s in for a CF related illness.
He didn’t start getting sick until about 5 years ago.
It was once a year.
This year – it’s twice.
Knowing this disease is progressive never scared me as much before. Not until it took less than 2 years for Denver to end up here.
Not until it took 2 days to get bad enough to require this.
Not until knowing that despite the amazing functions he usually has, the life full of Cross Country & playing, he could degrade so far so very fast.
It’s frightening.
Not just for us.
For him – now that he’s living it.
by Sarah | Oct 30, 2012 | All About Denver, Cystic Fibrosis, Special Needs
When I had Denver – I was so spoiled by fate.
As a single mother, living with my parents it could have been more difficult – but Denver was always an easy kid.
Those milestone ages and events? He met the deadlines perfectly.
The ages used for sizes on clothes? Met those perfectly too. Moved into 6-9 month clothes at 6 months. Until he grew into size 7’s, that was the norm.
Everything for him was met at the perfect age. He was well behaved and polite – and still is to everyone but his ‘stupid parents’ (he is a teenager, after all. We are the enemy now). He’s a good kid.
I never really had to worry.
The only time I worried & panicked – Mom instinct had kicked in. He went on a camping trip for Scouts and I knew before he left something was going to happen – and it did. That’s when he broke his wrist. Call it a premonition, call it instinct, but I did panic (once the phone call came) until he made it safely home.
That was all before the light bulb went off and his chronic pneumonia finally hit me hard enough to test him for CF.
Now he has the diagnosis but the unusual nature of his diagnosis (and his sister’s) they are both listed as “atypical” CF.
The thing that worries me, is that I’m sitting here listening to wheezing, he’s struggling to breathe, but despite a nurses first instincts, we aren’t going to the ER. The doctor dismissed that idea. We’re being made to wait to go in until tomorrow. If his condition worsens we’re to go to the ER, otherwise we sit here for over 24 hours past when he woke up because he struggled to breathe.
I’m hoping that it’s because he has no fever. That it’s a logical explanation.
But I can’t help feeling like maybe the atypical nature leaves them to react less.
I’m sure I’m just being over-protective and paranoid because I’m so very worried.
Right?
by Sarah | Oct 29, 2012 | All About Family, All About Indiana, All of Us, Blogging Life, Indiana Family of Farmers, Table Talk, The Reluctant Hoosier
[flickr id=”5075549323″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Fall is my favorite season. I might be partial to summer because that’s when I was born – but it gets too hot (especially here in Indiana) and far too humid and I don’t have a pool anymore.
Besides – fall has all the gorgeous color, brief though it may be.
Fall is the season I start to bake. I start making Christmas cookies early & freeze them – but I also start baking bread. And pie. And anything else I can concoct. My family loves the influx of fresh food baked in warm oven. Only thing I wish for at this time of year is a lot more counter space.
Fall is also the season that the local farmers have the corn mazes, apple picking, pumpkin picking, and fall festivals. There is so much to do at this time of year – and my favorite is the apples. Apple pie and applesauce adorn our table regularly in the fall.
There really is no better season.
*~*~*
This post was written as part of Indiana Family of Farmers Table Talk series. As a Table Talk contributor I received various products to help along the table talk. All opinions and stories in the post are my own truth.
by Sarah | Oct 25, 2012 | All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us
My childhood was pretty great all around.
The street I grew up on was lined with trees. Big tall trees that shed piles upon piles of leaves every year in the fall. The neighborhood kids would gather up gigantic piles to dive into, swim around in, get lost in.
My brother, being older than me, was a major ring-leader in the activities. No matter what the season, he liked to head up the games. Whether sledding in the winter, street hockey in the summer, he was in the thick of it.
Leaves was the one thing among these that I wanted to do more than anything.
How fun could that be?
The free fall with a cushioned landing.
I wanted to so much.
I never could.
I might have mentioned before that I had pretty severe allergies when I was young.
Among them were pollen, trees, tree sap, all that fun stuff.
Playing in the leaves gave me hives. All over the place.
By the time I had grown up enough that my allergies lessened we were in a brand new neighborhood with baby trees.
Now my kids live in a house with a huge tree in the backyard that drops a ton of leaves. They are never bright & colorful – but they are always plentiful. Now it’s their turn – and I love watching them bury each other in the leaves and scramble through. Even when my aware & very adult brain is protesting the dirt/bugs/need-baths-now…I love seeing the blatant joy at the simple pleasure of free falling into a pile of leaves.
When you’re younger, making friends is so simple.
