by Sarah | Aug 8, 2013 | All of Us, Crap, Special Needs
Someone recently asked if I carry guilt.
Unwarranted guilt.
Two kids with CF.
One with Autism.
The truth of the matter is…
Yes.
Every day.
Most days I am able to ignore it.
Most days I’m able to ease Erik’s guilt over the wholething.
To continue forward and do what we must do. What we have to do. To live our lives.
Because I love them.
And wish I could take their challenges onto myself.
I try to never let them see it.
Or feel it.
I don’t know that it’s something we’ll ever shake. Or be able to fully let go of. There are risks in the future if they have kids. There are risks in the future of how their lives will turn out.
But I’d feel guiltier if they weren’t happy.
And I believe they are.
I hope they are.
I hope they always will be.
by Sarah | Jul 1, 2013 | All About Kennedy, All About Learning, All About Me, All of Us, Crap, Random
Most days I’m good with my age.
I’ve done things in the past couple of years that make me realize I’m in my prime. I have a good life now, and I’m happy and fine with where I’m at.
Then the baby of the family brings home a time capsule on her last day of school set to be opened at graduation.
And I see the date.
2024
And I realize…
That’s 30 years after I graduated.
Now…
I feel old.
My youngest will graduate almost 30 years to the day after I did.
~whimper~
*~*
(More on the what I know of the contents on another post)
by Sarah | Jun 18, 2013 | All About Me, Crap, Random
Have you ever had one of those days?
Better yet, one of those weeks?
Everything is going along fine and then…
WHAM
You’re hit with a MAC truck.
Life flips on its head.
You lose track of days. (Seriously – WHAT is the date? I’m so confused)
Everything goes wrong.
Things break.
You get sick.
Your kids decide to mutiny.
*~*
You have?
Gee, I wouldn’t know what that’s like.
</end sarcasm>
*~*
I don’t know what day it is.
I thought today was June 11th.
Last week I thought it was June 3rd.
*~*
I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
Before summer is over.
Right?
Anyone?
by Sarah | May 15, 2013 | All About Home, All About Me, All of Us, Crap, Random
I make no secret of my husband’s obsession.
I have a few of my own, so I don’t deny him his.
Unfortunately, his eats up space like you wouldn’t believe.
<—This is (one of) my bookshelves two years ago.
That is approximates 500 (or more?) movies.
Blu ray, standard, TV series, movie series, duplicates and an occasional triplicate.
You think it doesn’t look bad?
Those suckers are 2 rows deep.
At one time they’d been alphabetized, but every time hubby took out a movie, alphabetizing went right out the window. New movies were bought and we had nowhere left to put them. We had movies he forgot about because they were hidden in the back.
Our books were pretty much the same.
Out of control.
Fed up, and desperate, I took myself into the depths of Amazon. I knew what I wanted. I was a matter of finding it and balancing the cost vs. the reward.
I finally decided the cost was worth it for the final reward.
i.e. Being organized.
Still, in 2012 I used caution. I only bought about half of what we needed. Just in case–a) they didn’t work or b) we hated them.
Well, it’s now 2 years later. In 2012 I bought more, plus blank pages.
What did I use? The Bellagio Italia in Brown (Pro-tip, buying them 3 at a time is cheaper in the long run than by 1, 2 or 6….). Last year I bought 9, this year I bought 9 more, plus 6 packs of the refill pages.
What else did we do? Well, we thinned out some duplicate movies (but not all, I can’t tell you how many versions of Star Wars we have…okay, I can. It’s 5). We thinned out books (namely I thinned out books because I rarely re-read anything). We took them to Half-Price (w/ regret as we got next to nothing…selling to Amazon would have gotten us more $).
Movies are organized into just a few categories.
My Movies
[amazon_link id=”B002C6A6N6″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The Dr. Quinn Series[/amazon_link] (also mine)
Standalone Movies
Movie Series
Standalone Movie Bonus Discs
Series Movie Bonus
TV Series
[amazon_link id=”B002M2T1UO” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The Shield[/amazon_link]
Some special movies/series still aren’t put away. The James Bonds b/c they aren’t ours. The new blu-rays of the [amazon_link id=”B002I9Z8GW” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Star Trek[/amazon_link] [amazon_link id=”B001TH16DI” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Movies[/amazon_link], b/c we just got them and haven’t decided if we want to take them out of their pretty cases yet.
For the first time in…well, ever…I’m becoming extremely picky about organization. Right now I’m die-hard about the movies, but it’s seeping into the rest of the house.
The husband couldn’t be happier 😉
by Sarah | Mar 5, 2013 | Crap, Random
It should be noted that my husband is nine years older than me.
He’s pushing toward 50, while I’m still creeping toward 40.
He’s always had the baby face (unseen in this photo since he has a beard) – always looked at least my age, if not younger than me. It’s been a joking point of contention.
But the fact that the mail comes…
With frequent offers for ME to join AARP, “Your membership card is enclosed!”…
And Erik has never received one.
Not one.
Well, it’s just not funny.
Just makes me feel pretty…old.
by Sarah | Feb 21, 2013 | All About Me, All of Us, Crap, Random, Story of Me
Five years ago (5? Really? Wow….) I did a post called 100+ things about me.
I thought about completely reviving it and doing a full 100+ things about me again as quite a few of those are now old news or untrue (or have changed drastically).
But 100+ things felt like a lot to my addled brain, so I trimmed it down to 20 (for now – see after the list for my ideas).
So, without further ado…20(ish) things about me…that you may or may not know.
- I grew up in Buffalo, NY.
- A piece of my heart still calls Buffalo home…but then I realize I’ve spent more years away from NY than I did in it.
- I call myself the “Reluctant Hoosier” – because I’m slowly, and begrudgingly, realizing that to me now, Indiana is becoming home. I still hate the name ‘Hoosier’…but I am loving the state more every day.
- I am deathly allergic to cats (had one put me in the hospital 11 years ago)
- And pot (yup – going to concerts like Metallica is FUN for me).
- Growing up I ate orange juice on rice krispies or oatmeal in place of milk because of my allergies. (ick – it scarred me for life)
- I have a tattoo – on my back – between my shoulders – it’s a butterfly with my kids initials woven in.
- I am craving – craving another tattoo (or 3 or 4).
- My tattoo embarrasses the teen (the punk. It’s not like I go around flashing it to his friends).
- I have moments where I just want to walk away from it all. I don’t, but I have a flash of thought once in a while.
- I’ve been married for 10.5 years – and it’s been a bumpy ride, but we’re still going strong.
- If I could I’d have a pet snake – the husband would shit a brick, though.
- I love coloring my hair. It has nothing to do with the grays – I just like variety. In fact, it’s time again, what should I do next?
- I’m attempting to create a victorian era gown from the skin out. Underthings are done. Corset is half-done. I have the materials ready to go for petticoats and bustle. 🙂
- While I was obsessed with the Little House books growing up (seriously, read them over and over and over)…I hated the TV series because it was ‘too different’ from the books.
- The first 2 fingers on both hands and my big toes all turn inward (on toes it’s called a bunion). It’s an odd quirk I’ve had my whole life – although very soon I think my feets will need corrective surgery as they have begun to hurt.
- My ‘odd human trick’ that I used to be able to do was bark like a poodle. I cannot attest as to whether I currently can still perform this trick.
- I am a lifetime occasional smoker. I can almost always quit easily and I rarely go for more than a few months, but it happens. Now that he’s 15, my teen is highly vocal about his disgust in this sometimes-habit.
- I had an emergency hysterectomy 6 years ago. Best decision ever. I prefer hot flashes to the other mess. With 3 kids (proving my high fertility despite multiple attempts to NOT get pregnant) and frequent inactive cysts and having already lost 1 ovary in 99…I was beyond ready.
- I wrote a book. It’s been [amazon_link id=”B00BEMN5SC” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]published[/amazon_link]. I wrote another, it’s coming out in April. Many more on the burner. I love being an author – between it and blogging, I have the best jobs in the world.
There’s 20 for now.
I figure I’ll do one for each member of the family over the next few weeks. I might even turn it into a weekly deal for some regularity around here that can apply to whatever happens to be going on.
Someone recently asked if I carry guilt.
