by Sarah | Oct 28, 2011 | All About Me, Random
[flickr id=”5420056414″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Five years ago I had a 6 month old and an 18 month old at home. I was working part time as a waitress at Bob Evans. Riley’s autism was making itself more clearly known. Both girls were in Early Intervention therapies.
Life was hectic crazy.
So when I ended up needing an emergency hysterectomy and I was off work for a couple of weeks I decided to stay off work permanently.
Today I rejoined the work force.
In a sort of ‘dream’ job for the avid reader and aspiring writer – I’ll be working in a one of our local libraries. I had my interview today and got the call just a few hours later.
Right now I’m nervous about finding a babysitter for the very short time I’ll need one…and about whether I will earn enough to make it work. I believe and hope that it will work itself out.
I’m excited. I’m trepidatious.
I know it’s the right time. Part of me hoped I’d never have to go back, but I know I need to.
Wednesday I start.
The next chapter.
by Sarah | Oct 26, 2011 | All About Learning, All About Molly, Autism, Crap, IEP, WTF?
[flickr id=”5885702438″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]School started two months ago. After the gains made last year, and the IEP already in place, we started this year with more hope than last year.
At meet-the-teacher night Archie and I both started to get uneasy.
When we waited after the session to speak to the teacher. We asked about her behavior, to which she replied that it was still too early in the year to say anything. That she doesn’t really pay heaps of attention to behavior – in her class it’s about learning.
That was the first red flag.
Then I mentioned the IEP and her teacher last year, and the response was…
“Well, I don’t look at the past. What happened last year is last year. I give the children a clean slate.”
Alarm bells sounded, dinging loud in our ears. The IEP HAS to be looked at. It’s there for a reason!!!
Still, we sat back. We gave it a chance. We had our IEP meeting for the new year. We thought everything was established and set in it. Everything was put into place. In black and white. The plan was set.
And then it came time for Parent-Teacher conferences.
During the meeting first of the year test scores were discussed. How low Riley’s results were and what they meant. And then it happened. The teacher said:
“It may have had something to do with how she handles tests. But tests are a part of life, we can’t change that and we can’t change how they are given. She just has to learn how to adjust.”
Both Archie & I were stunned into almost total silence. We wrapped up the meeting and got in the car and both said, “What the hell was THAT?”
We have an IEP that states tests are to be given in accordance with her needs. Tests CAN and WILL be changed.
We have decided to switch teachers. There are more reasons than just those two statements, but those alone are enough.
A teacher that doesn’t refer to or care about IEP’s are not what is needed. At all.
by Sarah | Oct 19, 2011 | All of Us, Crap, Random
I’ve never done well with change.
I like to know what’s going on, and unknowns really get under my skin.
But life is about change. Growing. Accepting. Living.
All of my kids are in school now. Only half day for one, but she’s my baby and by this time next year it will be full days of quiet.
The quiet time is nice. I get more done. Not all day every day. But more.
This week has been a week of sticking my neck out.
I put in a job application. It’s for a job I really, really want. It’s so close to home I could walk to work (nice weather permitting). The hours are excellent. It’s in a library. And me and books? Well, we get along so well. Thing is, I haven’t had a job in about five years. Part of me doesn’t want to go back to work. Another part of me is excited at the thought. A bigger part of me knows that me NOT working is no longer an option. I have to.
I submitted some writing to several places. Hoping it gets accepted and printed. It’s not a lot, but I’m trying to get myself to where I write more than long novels and try to get my name out there.
My oldest is a teen. He’s asking for facebook. Looking at girls. He’s already had his first heartbreak.
The girls are getting bigger. Expanding their circle of knowledge and friends. It’s led to some difficult situations, some behavioral problems. But they are changing every day.
I’ve started going to PTO meetings. Me? I’m not a PTO mom. I never have been. I just think that I need to be now.
In this fall season it feels like things are in a state of flux. Changing and shifting before I’ve given them permission. Our days are full and it’s so difficult to sit down and absorb anything.
Just for a little while I’d like to sit back and watch the colors change.
by Sarah | Oct 11, 2011 | All About Me, Crap, Random
[flickr id=”6234929839″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]On those weeks when everything happens at once.
When you are certain that if one more thing happens, you’ll just cease to exist.
Even the most together person, the strongest person can snap.
Have a bad day.
I’m not the strongest person.
I play it well.
But I’m not.
Yesterday was the day I snapped.
Almost threw my expensive camera…at someone’s head.
It wasn’t pretty.
Today I’m recovering.
Feel a million times better.
But it lingers.
Tomorrow will be better.
I won’t accept less.
by Sarah | Oct 5, 2011 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Home, All About Kennedy, All About Marriage, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Crap
[flickr id=”5293689107″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Cross Country season is drawing to a close. The final (County-wide) meet is in less than a week. Coming up there is nothing but PTO meetings, Parent/Teacher Conferences and life in general.
This also means that the teen will be home before 4PM every day.
I always thought once the girls were both in school I’d go back to work. Nothing so dramatic as full-time day jobs (and definitely NOT banking again ~gag~). I figured I would return to waitressing. With the teen old enough to babysit in short spurts, I’d be able to get a job at a real restaurant with real tips since I could now actually get into work before 6PM. Maybe we could get a (slightly) steadier increased income. Maybe we could leave SSI and its unreliable, and ever decreasing, amounts behind. Become self-sufficient again. Maybe even one day live the dream of giving up Child Support (or actually putting that in savings).
Now that day is here.
Yet we hesitate.
Last year Angel ended up in the hospital for the first time ever. It was five days where our only focus was her and making sure we saw the other two kids. Last year she wasn’t even in school. Only exposed to those hundred of viruses on the periphery.
It could happen again at any time.
We are six weeks into the school year and Angel has already missed five days due to illness. That’s one week out of six. Most of them in the past three weeks.
So now we toss up in the air whether I would even be able to maintain a job or if I’d constantly have to take off for illness or hospital stays or whatever.
I know, we can’t live life hanging by that ‘what if she gets sick’ thread…but it is a fact and a factor in everything. Having to weigh the consequences of not just being away from home several evenings a week – versus the likelihood that I will have to call in at least a couple of times, maybe more.
The thought of working again only scares me peripherally. I actually like the thought of having adult interaction, even if it is only as server to customer. I worked in banking for about eight years. It sort of ripped out my soul and stomped on it and I never wanted to work again after it. But I did, and I found a job at Bob Evans (the only place that would hire me w/ the hours I could work). The tips weren’t horrendous, but they weren’t top of the line. BUT. But…I loved my job. Even when I didn’ t like my new manager, and the employee turnover brought in some people that weren’t my favorites…I loved what I did. It was fun. It was interactive. It made me happy.
There are positives, many of them, to me going back to work…
But there are so many balls up in the air I’m afraid tossing in one more would be too much. Plus, I’d really hate to get a job I love, maybe even start earning enough to lose SSI…only to lose that job because of things well beyond my control.
We can’t live in the what-if’s…
But we can’t ignore them either.
by Sarah | Sep 28, 2011 | Random
[flickr id=”5026756140″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Baking bread.
Roasting pumkins.
Apple festivals.
Apple pie.
Cool, crisp weather.
Colorful world.
Welcome beautiful fall.
(Now please stop raining so I may enjoy you thoroughly)
