When I was 5 and living in Buffalo one of the best treats was when mom took us to Hills department store.  That place had slushies and hot dogs in the front, and sometimes we got a treat after shopping.  I loved going to Hills.

Then one day I wanted gum.  I REALLY wanted gum while we were standing in line to leave.  Mom told me no. I didn’t like that.  I don’t remember swiping the gum, but I remember getting caught.  Standing next to the car, Mom scolding me and then marching me right back into the store and admitting to the manager what I’d done.

I.Was.Terrified.

It stuck with me.

So when we had some incidents in November with K first lying and then stealing and lying about it, my first instinct was something similar.

The next morning I marched her into school and made her first tell the principal (lovely woman, BTW) and then her teacher (another great person) – and apologize for what she’d done.  For the next few weeks until break K had to meet with the guidance counselor weekly. She lost some recess time and at home she was left to sit in the corner while her sister got to play and watch one of her favorite movies.

We thought – maybe it was attention seeking. Life was chaotic. Denver had just spent a week in the hospital and then another week getting PICC treatments. Maybe it was just attention.

But now…the behavior is escalating.

I’m worried.  As worried as I always was when she was self-injuring.  Because it’s a new type of self-injury.

The most difficult part about it is that she is GOOD. She lies without a blink.  She swipes toys and books from her teacher, her classroom, and brings them home to claim them without a second thought.

I’m at a loss. I’m worried. She clearly remembers every time she’s been caught and gotten in trouble (and really, how many times have we missed?).  I don’t feel like I can trust my own lovely, kind-hearted, snuggly girl…because she can lie so blatantly and fearlessly right to my face.

I can’t even begin to know how to deal with this. Or why she’s doing it.

Where do I even begin?