Fatherhood Friday: Who I Am & Who I Want to Be

Jan 14, 2011 | Fatherhood Fridays

I always feel lousy this time of year. And it is almost always depression, sinking its sharp teeth in me, and shaking me like a dog with a new toy. Even if I didn’t have the armload of mental issues that I do, this is always a tough time of year. The pressures of the holidays, the pressures at work, everything just becomes more intense in the winter.

I do love the winter, the hush that falls with the first snow early in the morning (I often go outside early just to experience this); bundling up my girls in scarves, hats, and coats; the refreshing chill in the morning. I don’t really care for the angry motorists who don’t scrape their windshields; the cars that blow up on their owners (personally speaking); the nasty brown slush that gets left behind; wet socks from all of the snow tramped in the house; and the claustrophobic feeling that occurs after hearing your kids tear around the inside of a very small house for weeks on end.

It does give me time to catch up on movie watching, of which I am and addict. It drives Sadie and the kids nuts because I like movies with blood, guns, action, guns shooting, gore, guns shooting people, kung fu, sci-fi, boobies, war epics, and scary flicks. Sadie usually puts on headphones and averts her eyes, as the sound of bone crunching mayhem makes her nauseous. Not me, the louder the better. Most of you readers are women as well, and will sympathize with my wife’s plight. Other have husbands who don’t watch such stuff, and I feel bad that they don’t know what they are missing. For example; in the new Rambo movie, blood doesn’t run, it explodes. I know, cool, right? I actually like some dramatic movies, but I can’t watch rom-coms/chick flicks. Sadie always wants me to write movie reviews, but I think most women would be bored to read about my take on “Troy”. If anyone were interested, let me know and I’ll try it.

I have a few things that I want to do this year, but I don’t want to call them resolutions. I hate new year resolutions, they never get resolved. But I would like to improve myself this year. Here are a few things I want to try:

  • Exercise often and eat healthier. I can do this, but I haven’t been able to sustain very well. Right now, my overall health is horrible. I need to get a new ipod/mp3 player with an armband holder and I’ll be set.
  • Play with the girls more often. I’m guilty of not sharing enough with them, and I want to fix it.
  • Play, spend time with, try to understand the boy better and spend more time with him. Right now my patience is very short with him, and I feel a little(not a lot) bad about that.
  • Groom and maintain my yard better. It looked great for several years, but the last two years it has looked like crap. A nicely filled out and trimmed yard makes me very happy and peaceful.
  • Have a better all around attitude, especially at work. I’m a naturally negative person, and it’s tough to be smiley. But I can do it.
  • Be better to my wife. I’m a very difficult person, owing a lot to my ocd habits, and she gets the brunt of it. She deserves better, and I should be capable of doing better for her. I love her.

That’s a few of the things I want to do. Maybe I can share more later. Wish me luck, I’m off to wok on ‘em. We’re due for a good year.

**********

When I approached Archie about writing this week, he didn’t know what to write. He felt “uncomfortable” writing aobut something outside of the kids. After a little explanation that this blog is about Redefining Perfect in every way, including our own lives…I managed to wrangle a post out of him.  For those that don’t know, because I generally only mention it in passing on this blog – Archie has severe depression & anxiety disorders…as well as we believe that he actually is the genetic blueprint for Riley * her autism.

That being said, I always love having Archie post on my blog, and I hope you’ll all show him some love. He deserves it most of the time 😉

Sarah

3 Comments

  1. Tara R.

    My teen son is dealing with a lot of the same things you are – depression, OCD, anxiety. I worry about him getting out on his own, being employed, and eventually with a family of his own. I know it’s a hard road ahead for him, and that he will be facing these issues probably his whole life, but it’s encouraging to find someone who is making his way in life.

    Good luck with your list. Sadie is a pretty awesome cheerleader to have in your corner.

    Reply
  2. inthefastlane

    I think that it is great that you know what your goals are. The hard part is always the putting the goals into actions.

    My husband has the same movie watching habits as you….I have learned to enjoy the 3000th viewing of the Godfather. sigh….

    Reply
  3. carol anne

    My hubs watches the crazy nightmare inducing sci-fi action movies late at night. I’ve resigned myself to a life of crazy dreams with the hubs. I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂

    Reply

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