The Writer’s Voice – Submission

May 3, 2012 | Books, Changing Tracks, Writing

I was made aware of this competition through some friends. My novel is complete, and with a gentle (or not) shove from them I decided to give it a try.  I was thrilled to make their narrow signup window and get my piece into the fray.

Changing Tracks has been a labor of love – and I’m very proud of this book and what it has become.

This contest is a wonderful chance for writers, so please make sure you click that picture over there and go visit some of the other talented people in this competition!

Many thanks to those running this amazing contest: Cupid, Monica, Brenda, and Krista.

Now, without further ado, my submission to the Cupid’s Literary Writer’s Voice post.

My novel is a 94k Historical Western Romance called Changing Tracks. It’s set in the Colorado Territory, 1871.

*~*~*~*

The Query:

There is nothing simple about forgetting your past.

Cole Mitchell runs the busiest saloon and brothel in DominionFalls.  He makes time with his women, makes a killing gambling, and exerts his power how he pleases.  One thing he never does is let anyone in.

Until the day she falls into his saloon bleeding and near death.  He saves her from the pine box, and finds he can’t walk away. The problem is, if he lets her get close he could relive his past – and he worked too hard to forget it.

She wakes with no memory, only the firm belief that someone wanted her dead. With no name she keeps ‘Jane Doe’ and tries to carve out a life. She finds herself drawn to Cole, and they start a fiery relationship that sets the whole town talking. Their pasts – her lack of, and his buried – keep them from admitting the depth of their feelings, but they find they only trust each other.

Through the chaos of renegade Indian raids, an abandoned husband and her recurring nightmares they fight to find the truth of what happened to her. She soon learns that sometimes the truth is the last thing you want to learn, and she starts to think it may be best to leave the past where it is.

That past isn’t that willing to let go. A stranger proves that he’s willing to kill to keep his secrets safe. If Jane doesn’t remember soon, everyone she loves will be in danger.

 

*~*~*~*

First 250 Words of the Manuscript:

Drip. Drop. Drip.

A drop of scarlet hung from the ragged ridge of flesh.  White bone poked out, muscle red and oozing around it.  The red drip shivered before falling in slow motion into the growing pool of crimson.

White snow cradled the hand like a pillow in the middle of the tracks. Bile rose in her throat, threatening to spill over when a finger twitched.

Her eyes remained glued to the sight, knowing if she looked up she’d see him – the rest of him. Murmurs around her started to sink in, saying she’d pushed him. In an instant time raced forward.

With a gulp she lifted her eyes to the mangled mass of man left over, his blank stare ripping her heart out through her gut. A cold sweat broke on her forehead and she unleashed a terrified scream.

Wrenched deep from her soul, pulling on seven years of horror, suffering, anger, regret, and intense fear – a scream unlike one she’d ever heard. She wanted them to worry, to fear, to take her away and hide her from the continuing evil. They could kill her and it would be less painful than this never ending torment.

The murder had been her undoing and she welcomed the end, letting her screams echo until her voice grew hoarse and not ceasing even then. The sharp sting of a syringe followed by the burning heat of medicine is the only thing that brought silence. That ended the tortured scream.

 

Sarah

23 Comments

    • Sarah

      Wow…this really must have me stressing out….you saying that literally put tears in my eyes. LOL! Thanks so much, hon!! It’s been a long road to get here – and I’m really hoping this gets me that success I’ve been working toward!!

      Reply
  1. Mary Terrani

    To watch this story change and grow as you have written it has been an honor and a privilege. There are no words to say just how I feel because proud doesn’t seem to cover it.

    Reply
    • Sarah

      I never could have done it without you, Mary. You were the one kicking me in the butt on the days that I doubted my skills, my story, myself. I’d say you’re the wind beneath my wings, but we’d both beat me over the head for the sappiness. Thanks so much, doll! Next it’s your turn!!

      Reply
    • Sarah

      Thanks, Ellie! All the fingers crossed I can get won’t hurt!!

      Reply
  2. Becca C.

    Nice imagery in the excerpt! Very powerful Good luck in the contest!

    Reply
    • Sarah

      Thank you very much, Becca! I admit that I had some nerves considering it is a romance, but the beginning comes off a bit more horror! LOL. I do love this section of the story, though.

      Good luck to you too! I’m heading over to your place to check out your entry now!

      Reply
  3. Marieke

    This isn’t usually my genre, but I love the sound of this! Good luck! 🙂

    Reply
    • Sarah

      Thanks so much, Marieke! It’s been quite a ride to get this out there, but I couldn’t be happier to have it out there!

      Reply
  4. Sarah Henson

    A western romance? Sounds great! Good luck!

    -Sarah #146

    Reply
    • Sarah

      🙂 Yup, a Western romance. I love that time period. It’s been so much fun to write this!

      Reply
  5. Erica M. Chapman

    Powerful start! Cool genre too, don’t see that many of those! Good luck ;o)

    Reply
  6. April Wall

    Good luck from one contestant to another! -April, #61

    Reply
  7. Brandi M Lynch

    So good! Love the first 250! Good luck! Brandi #199

    Reply
  8. Matthew MacNish

    Hi Sarah, I’m visiting your blog from the Writer’s Voice Contest (entry #58), and I wanted to wish you the best of luck! I’m also now your newest follower, so: nice to meet you!

    Also, I just have to say: wow! That first paragraph. Visceral, brutal, and oh so vivid. I love it!

    Reply
    • Sarah

      Matthew,

      Thanks! Same to you. Good to meet you 😀

      And thanks again. I do love the beginning of my book. It may seem oppositional to the genre it’s in, but it is a tie in to the story and is necessary to what comes next 😀 Glad you like it.

      Reply
  9. SC Author

    Oooh, the first paragraph made me cringe 🙂 Nice job! The mystery is DEFINATELY intiguing, as I’ve read in your query. Seems so dark and mysterious at the same time. Nice job, and good luck!

    SC (#159)

    Reply
  10. Summer

    Wow! That had me all clenched up and twitchy with the descriptions! In a good way!! Very nice!

    Good luck in the contest!

    Summer – #40

    Reply
  11. Dahlia

    Interesting opening to a unique story! Good luck from #70!

    Reply
  12. Nicole Zoltack

    Love the voice in the query. Good luck!

    ~Nicole, entry 68

    Reply
  13. C.G.Ayling

    139 Hi Sarah, boy does this bring back memories of my youth. I used to devour westerns – my favorite author was Louis L’amour – carefree and easy times were they…
    Good luck!

    Reply

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