I’m doing things a little different today with this post.  I normally post my Guest Author posts over on Sarah’s Storylines – but due to the nature of the subject and the approach the wonderful Paloma took with it, it’s very relevant to Redefining Perfect, and I’m beyond honored to have Paloma here speaking on this subject in honor or her novel, Hold My Hand.

Thanks to Sarah for having me on Redefining Perfect today. This is the perfect place to share about my heroine’s past and talk about how she learned to redefine herself… with a little help from a deliciously alpha man.

Hold My Hand is about Aubrey, young woman coping with the remnants of being an emotionally abused child. Aubrey begins the steps of moving forward with a little help from a man who teaches her to redefine her idea of perfection. In his own unorthodox way, through an alternative lifestyle, he gives her a new chance to live the life she dreams of.

Sadly enough, far too many young girls are emotionally abused by their fathers. Because their fathers never acknowledge their responsibility, and most of their relatives often never believe such abuse was even possible, the girls go invalidated. The abuse affects them for the remainder of their lives in deeply seeded ways and the then-grown women are left to cope on their own.

Psychological, or emotional, abuse is defined as “deliberately making someone feel afraid, demeaned, degraded, subservient, or humiliated.” Emotional abuse tends to occur far more frequently and with more lasting negative effects than violent physical abuse. Most often, emotional abuse of daughters is preceded by the emotional abuse of their mothers.

The abuse typically happens with the intention of controlling, dominating, isolating, or intimidating and escalates as the daughter becomes more independent, seen to have a mind of her own her father is less able to control. Her father will use insults though they aren’t necessarily directly related to her behavior. The difficulty multiplies then because there’s no way for the daughter to predict what would set him off and avoid the abuse.

For Aubrey, like with so many real-life daughters, her father would yell at her, accuse her of not being bright enough, pretty enough and of not treating him right. One of the people meant to build her up would put her down and make her feel she could do no right. She was made to feel worthless and emotionally exhausted.

The most confusing part is the father’s poor treatment then followed by exhibits of love and tenderness, sometimes going so far as to spoil his daughter. This extreme behavior confuses the daughter. Then if there is an apology at all, the apology is softened with self-righteous justification such as “You pushed my buttons,” or “It’s hard to be nice to you,” or “Stop being so sensitive.” Never is there validation for how the daughter’s feelings.

I hope, by including this topic in Hold My Hand, to increase awareness of the emotional abuse of daughters. This is just the beginning of Aubrey’s healing. Book two – Heal My Soul – will be the continuation of her journey as she confronts her family.

BLURB

A story about Aubrey & William. Aubrey has been hurt in the past, discouraged by her family and degraded by a heartless father. Still, William sees something in her that won’t allow him to walk away. Instantly drawn to her but intuitive enough to take it slowly, he courts her. Then he bargains, persuades and seduces until his commanding nature ensnares her. Despite the fight she puts up in accepting William’s lifestyle, the bonds he places on Aubrey give her a freedom she desperately needs. Together, they heal old wounds and find their perfect love.

HOLD MY HAND is a contemporary BDSM-lite Romance with consensual Spanking Elements. Enjoy at your own risk.

EXCERPT ©Paloma Beck, 2013

“Aubrey.” William’s voice wafted through the line, the warm sound sliding down my tummy. “I’m held up in a meeting. Baylor will deliver you to my home and I’ll be there shortly.” I could hear voices in the background, hushed but present. I made a note to ask William soon what type of business he was in.

“Ok. That’s fine.” I wasn’t sure about being delivered; the term made me feel like a package. Perhaps I’ll try to think of myself as a special delivery. I shook my head at the absurdity of the thought. When had I ever been something special? Sometimes you’re just a waste of space, Aubrey.

“Good. I’ll see you soon. Baylor will attend to you, whatever you need.”

“Thank you.”

I thought he’d simply click the phone off then but he cleared his throat, “And Aubrey,” he paused, “I-I am sorry. I didn’t want us to begin this way.” I was still processing his apology when the call ended. I returned the phone to Baylor, grabbed up my coat and purse and followed him to the car waiting outside the door.

William’s voice – his apology had been so sincere. I couldn’t imagine it mattering that much to him. I wasn’t important enough for someone to worry over. No one had ever been concerned for me like that before. It unnerved me to consider William might actually like me enough to worry. Would he care for me eventually? I couldn’t dare believe it.

The car pulled up outside a large brick and stone home. It was big enough for a full family. The ride had been about twenty minutes so we must’ve been in one of the smaller suburbs framing Boston. As Baylor opened my door and offered his hand, I unfolded my body from the car and stood beside him, certain my mouth was hanging open.

“This was William’s home?” The quiver in my voice certainly gave away my uncertainty, my complete disbelief that this man I’ve met and have now agreed to date –if in fact, that’s what I’ve agreed to– lived in this home more suited for a full family of eleven.

“Yes ma’am.”

“He lives here?” I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing though it was right in front of my eyes. The house where I’d been raised could sit well inside this massive structure, which left me feeling small, tiny and insignificant. If nothing had yet to do it, this was the moment where my inadequacies smacked me square in the face. You’ll never be anything, Aubrey.

Baylor seemed to sense my unease, shuffling his feet next to me and waiting. He cleared his throat. “He also has an apartment in the city for times he can’t get away. This was more his weekend residence.”

“Oh,” I answered, took a deep breath and gave myself a moment to absorb this. It was so far from my reality. I could hardly make sense of it.

Hold My Hand is currently only available through Smashwords, but will release at all other major ebook retailers on April 1, 2013. You can check out Aubrey’s Pinterest Board and mark the book as WANT TO READ on Goodreads today!

About Paloma

Paloma Beck is a Romance Author living a life of contradiction… she’s a happily married carpooling mom writing erotic romance. It’s almost naughty! Paloma writes in both the Contemporary and Paranormal realms, journaling the stories her characters tell her, and they are anything but PG. She dabbles in vampires, witches, ménage, spanking and bdsm – all in her books, of course. Paloma believes a daily dose of espresso and a good book make any day better.

She is currently working on a contemporary romance series about three brothers. Finding Home, book two, will be released sometime in 2013 with Secret Cravings Publishing. She also has a paranormal romance series, The Seven Sin Sisters, contracted with Secret Cravings Publishing, which will be released sequentially between August 2012 and August 2013.

Connect with Paloma

WEBSITE http://palomabeck.weebly.com

TUMBLR http://palomabeck.tumblr.com/

BLOG http://RomanceBeckons.blogspot.com

TWITTER https://twitter.com/PalomaBeck

FACEBOOK http://www.facebook.com/PalomaBeckAuthor

PINTEREST http://www.pinterest.com/PalomaBeck

GOODREADS http://www.goodreads.com/PalomaBeck

AMAZON http://www.amazon.com/Paloma-Beck

 

Recommended Read

For more information on this topic, [amazon_link id=”1440504636″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and to Respond[/amazon_link], Patricia Evans is a useful guide. I encourage anyone living with any form of abuse seek professional help.