Welcome back to the Weekend Writing Warriors!
I’m still keeping you all intrigued with the beginning of the series [amazon_link id=”B00BEMN5SC” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Changing Tracks (The Dominion Falls Series book 1)[/amazon_link]. You know, my amnesiac with the eidetic memory, Jane Doe…and the brothel-owner, anti-hero…Cole Mitchell.
Nearing the end – which means we’re nearing a giveaway 😉 In this scene, Cole has just literally saved Jane’s life at great peril to his own. Jane is clearly distraught:
Jane nodded with a weak sob and bent down over Cole. “Please, Cole, I need you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, just come back to me.”
“I’ve gotta move him,” Graham knelt down next to him, “He ain’t dead, but if Daisy’s going to do anything, it ain’t gonna be in the street.”
She nodded weakly. “He has to live. I wasn’t worth this.”
“No, you weren’t.”
*Please forgive creative punctuation…I just had to include all these lines 😉
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Did you like this sample, too? You can pick up the whole series now!!
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whoa, what a line, a real blow to her “No you weren’t” Ouch.
Yup. Graham doesn’t care too much for Jane at this point. lol. He takes every opportunity, even a painful moment in time to knock her down a few pegs.
Such a heart-breaking snippet and a turning point in the story. One question: who said the last line? Graham or Cole?
Oh, definitely Graham. Cole isn’t conscious. lol. And thanks! It is definitely a heart-breaking moment…and Jane’s turmoil isn’t done yet.
Wow, the last line is harsh. Great 8.
Thanks Tina! Yup, Graham isn’t a tender guy at his best at his worst, he’s downright mean. lol
Heartbreaking and a killer punch line. super eight.
Thank you Charmaine! Glad you were able to feel the emotions of the 8!
Sarah! OMG, what a great couple of lines. The power of the emotion you pulled up was so good. Fab snippet.
Wow, thanks, SJ!! I’m so thrilled you were able to feel the emotions in such a short span. 🙂
Dramatic! Heart wrenching and I rather like the remark his friend makes to her (in the sense this reinforces the tension and high stakes going on)…great snippet!
Thanks Veronica! Yup, Graham’s comment really drives home a lot for her. The tension doesn’t end there either. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it!
Oh snap! Very dramatic eight!
Love the last line. It’s a nice sharp twist.
What a great 8! That last line to it to a whole ‘nother level. Well done, Sarah!
The last line packs quite a punch.
I’m hoping Jane will get a chance to show she is indeed worth it
Well…I now intensely dislike this Graham person. What a jerk.
Wow! That last line packs a punch. Great 8!
Wow, that last line was a heart-breaker. Kick’em when they’re down… Great job of writing emotions into a few sentences, Sarah.
Lots of emotions here. What a last line…”No you weren’t” Wow!
Ouch. That last line, just ouch.
Wow! Intense 8! Great job.
Damn, I’m not there yet, I’m so slow at reading lately, I gotta go back to it.