On the Bookshelf

by | Jan 9, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Book Reviews, I'm A Reader, Redefining Perfect

2018 was a pretty slow reading time for me. I only read 27 books, and most of them in the last few months.  To keep from listing them all, since I’ve not done a list in a while, I’m going to highlight a few top reads for me.

Some may interest you, some may not. I hope it gives you at least a few ideas!!

Onto the post:

What I Read

[easyazon_link identifier=”0062797611″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Kill the Queen[/easyazon_link]

I have had one of Estep’s books on my TBR for AGES…and it wasn’t this book. I should have read the other b/c that series has about 17 books in it already. This one? Well, only the first book is out and I’ll have to wait for the next…I’m not good at waiting…

But it was SO GOOD. The world building was spectacular.  The heroine was awesome…a little broken, but learns to fight for herself…not because of a man in her life, but in spite of his presence.  Some of it was predictable (hello, loverboy)…but much of it kept me not only guessing, but on the edge of my seat.

It’s not pretty…I mean, they are gladiators and there is death…at the hands of the heroine. She builds her own strength and with the help of others and her own grit, learns to use a power she’s long kept hidden.

I cannot wait for the second in the series and what it means for this intrepid band of gladiators and their new queen.

 

[easyazon_link identifier=”073875840X” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Tarot Elements[/easyazon_link]

*I received a copy of this book via netgalley. All opinions are my own*

Still available only as a pre-order (Release of March, 2019)…I suggest getting this one in print as soon as humanly possible.  If you’re interested in tarot at all, if you’re interested in SELF HELP at all…this book is amazing at both.

Probably the first book I’d ever tag as “self-help for pagans”…it’s a great tool to, as the cover says, reset your life.  The readings focus on you and your life and aren’t meant to be quickly breezed through. Some of the stuff that comes up will be ROUGH, and deep, and you’ll have to dig through the depths to face what you need to…but isn’t that what all good self-help books do?

I recommend it if you’re new to tarot (and if you are, add in Cynova’s other book, [easyazon_link identifier=”0738750778″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Kitchen Table Tarot[/easyazon_link], which is so easy to read and so beautifully explains the cards you will carry it with you everywhere)…or if you’re experienced…or if you just need a good kick in the ass to get yourself out of your slump.

Written with Cynova’s brilliant ease with words, that come across like an old friend across the kitchen table (see what I did there?)…it’s an excellent read that really makes you think.

[easyazon_link identifier=”B01LW3WQ6K” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]A Glimmer of Hope[/easyazon_link]

I got this as an Amazon First Read about 3 days before my netgalley approval. So technically, I should disclaimer that I got this via netgalley, but I started reading it before I got approved…so…anyway, all opinions are, as always, my own.

I’d never read any of the series this is a spinoff of, so I had no idea what I was getting into.  I really bought it based on the cover.

I really ended up enjoying it. In fact, it makes me want to read the series this stemmed off of, as well as the rest of this series itself…and hope it lives up to this one.

The heroine was likable – although at a few points I did want to smack her…she did go through a huge, traumatic event so some of her wariness and unease was to be expected for sure.

The accompanying cast is fun, dangerous, and intriguing. I look forward to learning about them some more.

 

[easyazon_link identifier=”1250147905″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]The Hazel Wood[/easyazon_link]

Look at the gorgeous cover…it’s even more gorgeous in person as it shimmers and shines in the light.  This is the reason I picked up the book…and I bought it because the blurb intrigued me.

This is the book that got me reading again.  Not at first, as I started reading it in March of last year…and then promptly put it down for six months. Not because I wasn’t intrigued by it…but because life.  Once I picked it up again, I finished it in a couple of days…devoured it is probably more apt.

The dark and twisted fairy tales played such a mind-bending part in the story it was amazing.  The fairy tales that were spoken of reminded me of how dark the grimm fairy tales originally were before they were prettied up for film.

The MC was intriguing and I’m so glad that this book took a played out trope and turned it WAY on it’s head…something completely unexpected in a YA novel (not telling you what, for it’ll give it away).

This book is spine-tingling, nerve-wracking, exciting, and page-turning excitement.  It’s a must read in my book.

 

[easyazon_link identifier=”0312360800″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]First Grave On The Right[/easyazon_link]

*I received this book via netgalley. All opinions are my own*

Confession – I first picked up this book to read quite a few years ago. Everything I’d heard about it made it seem like it was right up my alley. Here’s the thing…this cover I’m using? It’s not the normal cover. I use this cover because I cannot stand to look at the original for the mere fact that there is a bare foot on it. Yup. I had to take the book back to the library pretty quickly after taking it out that first time because I couldn’t stand to touch the cover that had a bare foot on it (podophobia is real, folks…it’s so real).

Soooo…fast forward to several weeks ago when Netgalley put the entire series up as a “read now” option – with the exception of book 13, which is soon to be released. I thought, maybe if it’s on my kindle and I don’t have to see the foot I can read it…and jumped on them. I’m so glad I did and took the chance.

As I’d suspected all along, these books were right up my alley. Charley is an amazing heroine. The book was clever, tension-filled, hilarious, and smart.  I can’t wait to continue on the series (I do have all 13 now…woohoo!)

[easyazon_link identifier=”0399185798″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]The Princess Diarist (Audiobook)[/easyazon_link]

Whoosh…this was a rough one.  Mostly in it Carrie Fisher makes several references to her, and her mothers, eventual demises…which happened a scant two years ago.  Hearing such words in her own voice gave them a bittersweet pang that hit me in the heart strings hard.

All debate over the validity of her relationship with “Mr. Ford” can be had elsewhere, for I don’t care whether this was the recollections of a woman on a time that changed her life…or stories taken from the musings of a girl on the cusp of womanhood with a crush she dealt with through flowery, rhyming prose in diaries between takes on a movie she had no idea would one day very soon rocket her to stardom.

What I do care about is that the book was a lovely read, and a compelling look at what happened in a more innocent time before stardom…and the lap dances it led her to in the future long after her youthful days and dreams were gone.

It was a beautiful look inside a soul gone too soon.

 

What I’m Reading Now

[easyazon_link identifier=”0778324338″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Poison Study[/easyazon_link]

This is a re-read for me. I initially read this book in 2012(!!) and loved it. I never continued on with the series, though. Either lack of interest in reading, or forgetting about it when I am reading, I can’t say.

What I can say is that this series, and the subsequent series after, keep showing up in my feeds on Goodreads, Facebook, Netgalley, you name it. Making subtle hints that I need to revisit it again.

So, I’ve picked the book back from the library and have already begun to re-read it. Odds are that I’ll get halfway through and remember the whole thing and have to put it down to skip to the next one, but maybe I won’t. Either way, I’m looking forward to getting back into this fascinating world.

 

[easyazon_link identifier=”0316264350″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Conspiracy of Ravens[/easyazon_link]

Oh my, oh my…this is the sequel to a story I first read several years ago, and re-read in 2017 with the goal of continuing and never really have.  It’s a fun series and I have not one excuse as to why I’ve never finished.

Well, on a recent library run I spotted the third book of the series on the shelf…and rushed to get this one. I have it on my kindle (thanks to netgalley)…but I’m hoping having the physical book, and a deadline, will get me moving on reading it past the first 10 pages.

Wish me luck.

I’m gonna need it. Time’s already running out and I haven’t started, too busy reading the book up there ^^.

 

[easyazon_link identifier=”1250005914″ locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Second Grave on the Left[/easyazon_link]

Yuppers. I enjoyed book 1 so much, I’m ready to dive into book 2. I can’t wait to see what sort of trouble Charley gets herself into this time.

Also, more Reyes?

Um…YES.

Oh, to have more time to read all the time.

 

[easyazon_link identifier=”B07C96XW1D” locale=”US” tag=”redefiperfec-20″]Smoke & Summons[/easyazon_link]

You know those “must read” authors you find? The ones that…you don’t even read the blurb…you see the book and buy it?

Well, that’s Charlie Holmberg for me.  Her Paper Magician series captivated me, so when this came up as a January Kindle First Read, I grabbed it without another thought.

So it’s a new add…but one I must read for sure.

Along with the rest of her books that I’ve stashed away to read.

 

*~*

I’m so glad I’m on a reading kick again. I have a LOT to catch up on.  So stick around…more updates coming soon!

 

This is Me

by | Jan 7, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, I am a Geek, I Am Polish, I'm A Reader, I'm A Writer, Oola, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Story of Me, The Geek

Everyone puts a face on. They put out a persona on social media, or in real life, of who they want to be, how they want to be seen, a way they think people will like them. We’re extremely adaptable in that way. It’s not wrong, but sometimes we get lost in the shuffle.

I sure as hell did.

I’ve spent a lot of years chipping away at myself to mold myself in a way I thought I would fit. It started in 6th grade when the bullying started (another post for another time, but it was BAD)…and even today between my social anxiety and my chipping away at myself I’d become someone I didn’t recognize.

Oddly enough, the trigger point for me deciding to abandon this practice was the supreme court nominee and the subsequent uproar.

Let me tell you one thing, as a person who hates confrontation and is easily triggered into anxiety by political/religious discussions, discussions of assault, discussions of race…well, it’s a slow process to emerge from that tiny little shell I’d built for myself.

So here I am…taking a step to tell you who I REALLY am behind that facade I so carefully built.

I am a mother of three who sometimes feels completely inadequate as a mother.

I am a former dancer who misses the dance.

I am an author who writes sometimes dark, but always complex romance.

I was born and raised Republican in a suburb of Buffalo…but turned full on liberal in a gradual course that’s led me to not recognize how I could have been raised by such staunch Republicans.

Human kindness and decency win for me over greed and controlling – thus I = liberal.

I may be a part of a cult…okay, not really but for the first time in my life I tout that a self-help book changed my life (you know, that Oola thing)…because it HAS.

I am a Wiccan/Pagan who draws tarot cards and oracle cards. I have studied under a shaman I’m happy to call my friend and an Ojibwe Medicine Woman whose course has had another profound effect on my life.  In the past several months I’ve made big steps forward in my faith and feel myself growing because of it.

^^I have ALWAYS hidden my religion unless I’ve felt truly “Safe”…because I live in the bible belt. My parents all but disowned me when they learned about my religious preference. I was raised without church, but my parents went bible-thumping crazy when we moved to Indiana.  I joined them for a while but several events made me step back from that faith and find one that spoke to my soul.

I don’t care what your religious preference is, I care what sort of human you are. If you offer to pray for me or wish me a Merry Christmas, I am NOT offended. Love and support is welcome no matter the form.

I am a survivor of sexual assault. I was date-raped by my high school boyfriend on several occasions (including being forced to lose my virginity). I was being groomed by my aunt’s husband for who knows what. This is still VERY triggering for me.

I didn’t tell my mother until 15 years after the grooming about my uncle. It took two more years to tell my father. I’ve never told either about my high school boyfriend.

I love my kids beyond compare – and am way too easy on them sometimes, and way too hard at other times.

I believe my kids should follow their dreams and their happiness – not go to college just because it will “help” them. In fact, if it will send them into debt, I don’t see the point.

I have let things slide I never should have to make & keep friends. I’ve ignored racism, assault, and drama just to belong. Years of bullying left me desperate. I’m desperate no longer.

I’m learning that sometimes you just have to cut people out. I suck at it, but I’m learning.

I currently hate my body. I went from being harassed for being overly skinny, to not recognizing myself with the weight I’ve put on. I know it’s unhealthy to hate my body that’s done so much good (hello, three kids)…it’s just where I’m at.  I’m working on it – and being healthier to take care of it.  If I’m not treating my body like shit I could love a healthy size 10 or 12 or 14 instead of hating whatever size I am (I’m afraid to try anything on to find out what it actually is).  I’m working out and eating better, but it’s baby steps to the elevator.

I am a GEEK. Seriously…Star Trek, Harry Potter, Star Wars…the things I was picked on for in high school are stupid popular in some ways now…or maybe I’ve found my geek tribe? Either way, I’m proud to be a geek.

I’m a sometimes voracious reader (154 books in 2017…only 26 in 2018…it’s a roller coaster), who will now read a wide variety of books. I used to hate non-fic, but I’ve found several that worked for me. I love my books.

I’ve raised my kids to be proud of their otherness, their weirdness.  Though I’ve struggled with that outside feeling for so long…I’ve never wanted them to. It seems to be working.

I only hope it does. Because the world would be boring if my kids weren’t their weird, dark, geeky, glorious selves.

Redefining Our Future

by | Jan 4, 2019 | 50 before 50, All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Home, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Bucket List, Community, Florida Dreaming, Oola, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Story of Me

Several years ago we decided that we wanted to leave the land of the midwest and journey south to Florida.  Our son moved down two years ago, and his move rather cemented the idea in my head – and with a bit of nudging (or years, you know…potato/potahto), the husband was on board as well.

In 2017 we made actual plans to tackle our debt, get things in order to move in five years. 2022 seemed a good year. The girls would be nearly grown, and we could make our way down much more financially settled .

Eyes on the prize, we dug in. Lapses occurred, things bounced forward thanks to my new job, then went back again. You know, life. We did what we could.

Then, 2018 happened.

2018 brought about trigger points for many changes in our lives – and our future.

We found Oola in late 2017 and used it in 2018 to refocus our goals.

A slimy, underhanded, jerk of a man bought land on our quiet street and plans to build as many rentals as he can.

We were told in no uncertain terms to go for it.

Relationships in our life took turns.

Most of all – we got tired of waiting to chase our goal, and decided to make a mad grab for it.

In June we sat down and had a good long talk and decided we didn’t want to stay here any longer.  We decided we were done waiting for our life to happen. We decided to go for broke and make the leap.

With a target date of mid-2019, we’ve set things in motion to move.  In some ways we still don’t know how. Finding a job in another state, in a low level position is NOT easy. I’ve been at it six months, so I know.  I took the holidays off, but come next week I’ll be back at it hard, with two letters of reference in hand to help boost my resume. I’m going in full bore. The husband is going in full bore.

This is going to happen one way or the other.

2019 is the year of redefining so many things in my life…but the biggest is how we’re going to redefine our future by no longer staying where we’re comfortable. We’re breaking out of our comfort zone.  It’s terrifyingly exciting.

Hello 2019 – Hello to Redefining…Everything

by | Jan 1, 2019 | All About Family, All About Home, All About Me, All of Us, Florida Dreaming, Oola, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Story of Me

Happy new year!  Welcome to 2019, the year of possibility, of joy, of redefining so much.

2019 I went full on with another unusual word – yet not so much when you look at this blog.

REDEFINING.

2019 I’m going to redefine so much.  Our lives, our family, our future.

I’ve struggled with many things in the past couple of years.

The meaning of friendship.

The meaning of peace.

Depression.

Balance.

Too much, vs. too little.

Oola.

My faith.

Being true to myself in every area.

Avoiding the world.

Trying to dive into the world.

My job changing.

My writing (or lack thereof).

My weight.

Myself.

As 2018 began to wind down much faster than it began, I’ve been digging in, holing up, searching myself and my heart.

I’ve found that I can look at all the inspirational memes I want in the world. I can echo mildly in my head their words and sentiments. I can cheer on others as they take steps or find new meaning.

But what good does any of that do if I don’t GO ALL IN.

This year I’m redefining myself. I’m going all in. I’m baring my soul, my true heart. I’m probably going to lose friends, but I’m probably going to gain friends, too. I’m going to be open, honest, wholehearted, unflinchingly myself – even when it’s uncomfortable to do so.

The only way to make true change is to make yourself uncomfortable.  To step outside of the comfort zone.

To document this – I hope to keep this blog going, to keep myself in check, to see the changes as they come.

So, come on 2019 – let’s do this. I’m ready to be redefined.

2018 – Finding (and Sometimes Losing) Momentum

by | Dec 31, 2018 | 50 before 50, All About Family, All About Indiana, All About Me, All of Us, Bucket List, Florida Dreaming, Redefining Perfect

Honestly, until last year, I’ve never picked a word for the year before. Not for lack of trying, but being the verbose nut that I am…coming up with just one word for a whole year seemed impossible.

Then, last year at the end of 2017 – a pretty darn good year where I kicked a few bucket list items out of the park, after I’d planned for some big things in 2018…I kept hearing this one word in my head.

MOMENTUM.

I thought that’s just too weird a word for an annual selection.

Still, the word kept coming back to me…and so, I ran with it.

A friend of mine does word art for year words and so I requested she make me some art with this crazy off-the-wall word.

And boy…what a YEAR it has been!  There’s been ups and downs, all with such high intensity.

Books were released and re-released.

Friendships were ended.

Friendships were deepened.

We decided to make a HUGE change in our lives and are now planning to move to Florida to be near our son – and we’re working on it. Hard.

Our washer went out.

Erik had some pretty hefty health concerns.

I took big steps to further my career and learning.

I took a step back from writing.

My momentum crashed somewhere around September…and sort of went in reverse for a while.

I bordered on depression, but didn’t feel tipped over the edge.

I got to see my son 3 times – but didn’t get to see Florida once (~sigh~)

I found a great challenge near the end of the year to help me deepen my faith.

I quit smoking.

I failed to quit pop.

I’ve begun to refocus on my Oola again.

I’ve been up beyond ups….and pretty damn down at some times.  This year passed by like it was on warp factor 9.9 with no time to breathe sometimes.  I overworked myself, and then underworked myself. I struggled to find happy mediums, but happily spent some time in peace and quiet.

It’s been time to pick my word for 2019 again for a little while – and I did so about a month ago.  It’s another weird one…but it has me pretty darn excited for what’s going to come in the new year.

 

You’ll see…pretty soon. 😉