Oola: How I found it, and what it is

I’ve been carrying on for a while now about this Oola stuff, I know. So, I thought I would share a little about how I came to find it, what it is, and what it means to me/us.

One day about a year and a half ago I was perusing netgalley (as I love to do) and saw the cover over there <—.

I was intrigued, but saw it was self-help/non-fic and thought maybe it was too crunchy crazy for me because of the VW bus on the cover and moved on past.

About a month later one of my local friends on twitter posted something with the hashtag #oola.  For some reason, the word had stuck with me from that cover and I immediately tackled her on it, asking what she knew of it.  Her response is lost to the twitter gods…but it was along the lines of “It’s amazing.” I said I remembered seeing an oola book on Netgalley and I’d go see if it was still available.

It WAS!  I snatched it up immediately – and then promptly forgot about it for probably five or six months.

One weekend after I’d quit the job I hated, I took a chance to run some surveys at a local movie theater. I was only to survey people coming out of a couple of particular movies. Not sure if you know this, but movie theaters run movies in chunks. So everything goes in and releases within a half hour span every couple of hours. That left a LOT of time sitting around staring at this –>.

While sitting on a bench during one of the lulls, I opened the kindle app on my phone, pondering what to read.

I’m not sure what called me to it, but as soon as I saw Oola, I downloaded and began to read.

Within an hour I was sending my husband screen captures saying “Read this! And this! and this! This is amazing!”

Whether it was the right timing, or the right words, the book spoke to me. Some of the stories didn’t speak to me, but many left me in tears. It inspired me, uplifted me, and made me look at EVERYTHING in my life differently.  It changed my life.

I know, I know…I’m using the words “It was LIFE-CHANGING.”  The thing is…I don’t say this lightly. I’ve read my share of self-help books that didn’t do anything for me. Again. I don’t know if it was the timing, the words, or the simple complexity of the whole theory…but it struck me. It didn’t hit my husband in the same way…at first.  Now? He’s fully on board. We’ve both read an Oola book (There are currently 2 versions with a 3rd to be released soon and a 4th planned) at least twice. I’m on my third go right now.

Okay, so what is it?

From the Oola website:

oo-la (noun): That state of awesomeness. It is when your life is balanced and growing in the seven key areas of life – the 7 F’s of Oola (fitness, finance, family, field (career), faith, friends and fun).

It’s a book that guides you on how to find balance in the 7 key areas of your life.  (Heads up, the authors are deeply Christian and as someone who isn’t this could have easily turned me off…but in the Faith section they admit they’re Christian and say “but you do you.” Which, for me, made them a-ok in my book).

The book leads you through every one of the key areas, talking about how you can attain Oola in each, or what it means to attain Oola in each.

They break down what are called “Oola blockers” – like Fear, Guilt, Anger, etc. Then, they talk about my favorite – the “Oola accelerators” like Gratitude, Love, and Passion.

You are given quizzes to see where you are in each area so that you might create your Oola Wheel and see what you need to work on. You’re also given steps to find three daily tasks that take you closer to your Oola goals. By working on one area of your life, the Oola spreads to other areas so you see a general lift in each area.  I’ve experienced it, I’ve seen it have a huge impact on our lives. It sounds hokey, but it works.

I met the Oola guys

In June I got to head to a local Barnes & Noble to get my Oola books signed by the authors.

I even got to put my own Oola goal on the Dream bus…on the layer of stickers covering the VW. (My dream is not in this picture…it must have been before I placed it…but it was to move to Florida – weeks before we made the decision to do just that).

I kid you not, I was like a kid at Disney World when I walked around the corner and saw that bus outside. It was real, and I was adding MY dream to the bus.

I know I keep saying it, but it’s made a big change in our lives.  We keep each other in check by reminding each other “Oola” when things get rough. We have open discussion about Oola Blockers and Accelerators. We’ve taken steps to better our lives using the principles and are seeing positive changes.

We stumble, sure. Of course we do.  Lately, my biggest struggle has been in the fitness aspect and it’s bringing me down everywhere. So, I’ve quit smoking finally (over 2 months now), and I’ve gotten back on a healthier diet, I’ve been working on quitting pop, and am doing exercise program that worked for me in the past. My goals don’t involve a number on a scale, but a general return to the healthy level and excellent shape I was in almost 2 years ago.

We are living the #oolalife as best we can – and knocking out our Oola goals as we can.

I know, I’m one of THOSE people…never thought I would be, but I SO am.

Come on in, the water’s GREAT.

 

My Spirit Animal is Weirder than Yours

Last month I participated in this wonderful event run by an Ojibwe Medicine Woman called the 21 Day Ceremony Challenge.

The whole thing was amazing, powerful, so intense.  I learned things about myself. I built up my altar with new items and offerings. It was a wonderful way to spent a few minutes every day focusing on myself.

One day, pretty early in the process, she sent us on a little guided meditation to find the spirit animal that would be guiding us on our journey.

Honestly, it took me several tries to get in the right frame of mind to truly get into it. I expected something like the fox or deer I’d recently seen.

Nope.

My spirit guide came plodding along on all fours. Green. Bumpy. Big teeth.

An alligator.

Honestly…I had to really take a few minutes to digest it. I’ve seen all sorts of spirit animals from spiders to horses to hawks and even mice.

But an alligator? What?

Then, I thought more about it – and it makes total sense.

For one, the obvious, we are planning to move to Florida. What’s crazy-prevalent in Florida? Alligators, of course.

Then there’s the fact that my middle one, Molly, has had the nickname of “Gator” since she was a baby.  It’s a cute story about a onesie and an enamored daddy…but we’ll save that for another time.

Once I sat with the knowledge for a while, I took in the lessons he brought me.

His message to me was to work hard at being my authentic self, which I have always struggled with. The rest will fall into place if I continue accepting and becoming my true self. His presence with me tells me to continue my path of sticking to my guns and know that even though I’m gifted with emotional understanding, I don’t have to allow myself to be dragged into the chaos and mire of others drama.

So I’m happy to walk with the alligator, and let him be my guide…

And proudly say that I’d bet anything my spirit animal is weirder than yours. Which is just how I like it.

Revisiting the Bucket List – My 50X50

Well, I haven’t taken a hard look at my 50X50 status since 2017…so I knew that it was time to remedy that.  I need to change some things, add in some completed items and well, just tidy that thing all the way up. It’s been neglected far too long.

So join me, won’t you?  Let’s see what awesomeness we have done, or I’m changing, or what is staying the same level of awesomeness.

Color Code:

Newly Done (past 2 years)
Previously Done
New
Updated

***********

50 X 50

  1. Take a real vacation. (Not to Buffalo, not w/ the kids) (Done 4/23/12)
  2. Take my kids to Disney World. (Done, thanks to Make-A-Wish 10/28/14, and again 10/28/15, and again on our own dime 12/22/2017)
  3. See my name in print (get published, e-zine, paper-zine). (Done 6/24/12 – Sirens Call June 2012 Issue)
  4. Have a novel published. (Done 2/8/13 – Changing Tracks & 17 more times [so far] by 7/18/15)
  5. Get my Dominion Falls books series in front of a producer.
  6. Complete every item on my Disney Bucket Lists (there are 3-easy, long-term, difficult).
  7. Take a photography class (or 2 or 3)
  8. Perform on stage again (done 12/4/15 – Violet Grey in A Charlie Brown Christmas)
  9. Learn to snorkel
  10. See Colorado
  11. See Yellowstone
  12. Go skydiving. [Yes, I feel slightly insane here]
  13. Go to a blogger’s conference. (done 4/23/12)
  14. Sit at a book signing. (Done March 2018 at a conference in Nashville!)
  15. Get on a regular exercise regime & stay on it for more than 3 months. (I did this in 2018, then fell off the wagon at peak of fitness. My goal is to achieve again in 2019 and stick with it)
  16. Hand craft (knit, sew) 1 item for ME for a change. (DONE 4/1/12)
  17. Watch the baby turtles hatching
  18. Get some crazy color in my hair (purple, blue, pink highlites/streaks) Done 2/11/12
  19. Read the Harry Potter series aloud to my girls. (2/3 of the way through by 8/4/17)
  20. Sing Karaoke (Done April 2018 – much to my embarrassment.)
  21. Get up close with the wolves & photograph them at Wolf Park. (odds of getting this done before I leave Indiana – now nil. Hoping there’s something similar in FL)
  22. Move to Florida.
  23. Pay off debt. (Making progress on this for the first time ever. Maybe it will get done!)
  24. Get a car that is less than 2 years old (Done March 2018 –  my 2017 Honda Accord Sport)
  25. Run a 5k. Done 9/22/12
  26. Do something daring (paragliding, zipline, etc.) Done 7/14/12
  27. See the butterflies at the Indy Zoo (Done 3/19/13)
  28. Learn sign language.
  29. Go on a road trip with a girlfriend (Done Sept. 2018)
  30. Go on a hot air balloon ride
  31. See Cirque du Soleil (Done 6/27/2012)
  32. Ride a horse – not a trail horse. A real ride on a horse.
  33. Volunteer (Done 12/2017 at Give Kids the World & in 2018 – Became a Make A Wish Volunteer)
  34. Stop drinking pop. (Again – sooo close in 2018. I would still have the occasional, but I was almost there and crashed. Attempting again now)
  35. Visit Disneyland (Done 5/2/17)
  36. Get a tattoo (Done 7/16/11)
  37. Go on a Cruise [preferably Alaskan, but I’m not picky]
  38. Go on a wine tasting (Done 10/16/10)
  39. Get a Henna tattoo
  40. Take my husband to swim with sharks
  41. Fly first class
  42. Read at least 50 of the PBS 100 Great American Reads. (In total I have read 26/50 at this point)
  43. Have a real spa day (Done, thanks to Hubs, 7/2014)
  44. Visit a real haunted location (Done 7/16/16)
  45. Sell a photo
  46. Visit Salem, MA
  47. Visit both US based Disney Parks in one year. (Done in 2017 – Disneyland in May, Disney World in Sept & Dec)
  48. See a solar eclipse. (Done 8/21/2017)
  49. Renew vows with a hand-fasting ceremony on the beach.
  50. Go through a sweat lodge ceremony.
  51. BONUS: Run a full Disney Marathon (I couldn’t find anything to remove, and this is a goal for me for sure)

It’s so much fun to update the list…and to learn that in the past 2 years I have crossed of EIGHT items! That’s craziness in the best of ways!!

As you can see, many of my updates have to do with our upcoming move to Florida, more geared to things I can/will do down there.  I’ve also removed a few items that hadn’t seen progress in a few years, and updated some that needed to be changed (the books site I mentioned previous was different, and the PBS list seemed more attainable).

So what’s on your bucket list?  Do you make an effort to knock out at least one a year? 

I do…and sometimes I don’t even realize I’d done more until I look at my list!

Once you start, it’s hard to stop tackling those dreams!!

This is Me

Everyone puts a face on. They put out a persona on social media, or in real life, of who they want to be, how they want to be seen, a way they think people will like them. We’re extremely adaptable in that way. It’s not wrong, but sometimes we get lost in the shuffle.

I sure as hell did.

I’ve spent a lot of years chipping away at myself to mold myself in a way I thought I would fit. It started in 6th grade when the bullying started (another post for another time, but it was BAD)…and even today between my social anxiety and my chipping away at myself I’d become someone I didn’t recognize.

Oddly enough, the trigger point for me deciding to abandon this practice was the supreme court nominee and the subsequent uproar.

Let me tell you one thing, as a person who hates confrontation and is easily triggered into anxiety by political/religious discussions, discussions of assault, discussions of race…well, it’s a slow process to emerge from that tiny little shell I’d built for myself.

So here I am…taking a step to tell you who I REALLY am behind that facade I so carefully built.

I am a mother of three who sometimes feels completely inadequate as a mother.

I am a former dancer who misses the dance.

I am an author who writes sometimes dark, but always complex romance.

I was born and raised Republican in a suburb of Buffalo…but turned full on liberal in a gradual course that’s led me to not recognize how I could have been raised by such staunch Republicans.

Human kindness and decency win for me over greed and controlling – thus I = liberal.

I may be a part of a cult…okay, not really but for the first time in my life I tout that a self-help book changed my life (you know, that Oola thing)…because it HAS.

I am a Wiccan/Pagan who draws tarot cards and oracle cards. I have studied under a shaman I’m happy to call my friend and an Ojibwe Medicine Woman whose course has had another profound effect on my life.  In the past several months I’ve made big steps forward in my faith and feel myself growing because of it.

^^I have ALWAYS hidden my religion unless I’ve felt truly “Safe”…because I live in the bible belt. My parents all but disowned me when they learned about my religious preference. I was raised without church, but my parents went bible-thumping crazy when we moved to Indiana.  I joined them for a while but several events made me step back from that faith and find one that spoke to my soul.

I don’t care what your religious preference is, I care what sort of human you are. If you offer to pray for me or wish me a Merry Christmas, I am NOT offended. Love and support is welcome no matter the form.

I am a survivor of sexual assault. I was date-raped by my high school boyfriend on several occasions (including being forced to lose my virginity). I was being groomed by my aunt’s husband for who knows what. This is still VERY triggering for me.

I didn’t tell my mother until 15 years after the grooming about my uncle. It took two more years to tell my father. I’ve never told either about my high school boyfriend.

I love my kids beyond compare – and am way too easy on them sometimes, and way too hard at other times.

I believe my kids should follow their dreams and their happiness – not go to college just because it will “help” them. In fact, if it will send them into debt, I don’t see the point.

I have let things slide I never should have to make & keep friends. I’ve ignored racism, assault, and drama just to belong. Years of bullying left me desperate. I’m desperate no longer.

I’m learning that sometimes you just have to cut people out. I suck at it, but I’m learning.

I currently hate my body. I went from being harassed for being overly skinny, to not recognizing myself with the weight I’ve put on. I know it’s unhealthy to hate my body that’s done so much good (hello, three kids)…it’s just where I’m at.  I’m working on it – and being healthier to take care of it.  If I’m not treating my body like shit I could love a healthy size 10 or 12 or 14 instead of hating whatever size I am (I’m afraid to try anything on to find out what it actually is).  I’m working out and eating better, but it’s baby steps to the elevator.

I am a GEEK. Seriously…Star Trek, Harry Potter, Star Wars…the things I was picked on for in high school are stupid popular in some ways now…or maybe I’ve found my geek tribe? Either way, I’m proud to be a geek.

I’m a sometimes voracious reader (154 books in 2017…only 26 in 2018…it’s a roller coaster), who will now read a wide variety of books. I used to hate non-fic, but I’ve found several that worked for me. I love my books.

I’ve raised my kids to be proud of their otherness, their weirdness.  Though I’ve struggled with that outside feeling for so long…I’ve never wanted them to. It seems to be working.

I only hope it does. Because the world would be boring if my kids weren’t their weird, dark, geeky, glorious selves.

Redefining Our Future

Several years ago we decided that we wanted to leave the land of the midwest and journey south to Florida.  Our son moved down two years ago, and his move rather cemented the idea in my head – and with a bit of nudging (or years, you know…potato/potahto), the husband was on board as well.

In 2017 we made actual plans to tackle our debt, get things in order to move in five years. 2022 seemed a good year. The girls would be nearly grown, and we could make our way down much more financially settled .

Eyes on the prize, we dug in. Lapses occurred, things bounced forward thanks to my new job, then went back again. You know, life. We did what we could.

Then, 2018 happened.

2018 brought about trigger points for many changes in our lives – and our future.

We found Oola in late 2017 and used it in 2018 to refocus our goals.

A slimy, underhanded, jerk of a man bought land on our quiet street and plans to build as many rentals as he can.

We were told in no uncertain terms to go for it.

Relationships in our life took turns.

Most of all – we got tired of waiting to chase our goal, and decided to make a mad grab for it.

In June we sat down and had a good long talk and decided we didn’t want to stay here any longer.  We decided we were done waiting for our life to happen. We decided to go for broke and make the leap.

With a target date of mid-2019, we’ve set things in motion to move.  In some ways we still don’t know how. Finding a job in another state, in a low level position is NOT easy. I’ve been at it six months, so I know.  I took the holidays off, but come next week I’ll be back at it hard, with two letters of reference in hand to help boost my resume. I’m going in full bore. The husband is going in full bore.

This is going to happen one way or the other.

2019 is the year of redefining so many things in my life…but the biggest is how we’re going to redefine our future by no longer staying where we’re comfortable. We’re breaking out of our comfort zone.  It’s terrifyingly exciting.

Hello 2019 – Hello to Redefining…Everything

Happy new year!  Welcome to 2019, the year of possibility, of joy, of redefining so much.

2019 I went full on with another unusual word – yet not so much when you look at this blog.

REDEFINING.

2019 I’m going to redefine so much.  Our lives, our family, our future.

I’ve struggled with many things in the past couple of years.

The meaning of friendship.

The meaning of peace.

Depression.

Balance.

Too much, vs. too little.

Oola.

My faith.

Being true to myself in every area.

Avoiding the world.

Trying to dive into the world.

My job changing.

My writing (or lack thereof).

My weight.

Myself.

As 2018 began to wind down much faster than it began, I’ve been digging in, holing up, searching myself and my heart.

I’ve found that I can look at all the inspirational memes I want in the world. I can echo mildly in my head their words and sentiments. I can cheer on others as they take steps or find new meaning.

But what good does any of that do if I don’t GO ALL IN.

This year I’m redefining myself. I’m going all in. I’m baring my soul, my true heart. I’m probably going to lose friends, but I’m probably going to gain friends, too. I’m going to be open, honest, wholehearted, unflinchingly myself – even when it’s uncomfortable to do so.

The only way to make true change is to make yourself uncomfortable.  To step outside of the comfort zone.

To document this – I hope to keep this blog going, to keep myself in check, to see the changes as they come.

So, come on 2019 – let’s do this. I’m ready to be redefined.