by Sarah | Dec 23, 2017 | 45 before 45, 50 before 50, All About Erik, All About Me, All of Us, Bucket List, Personal, Redefining Perfect
I am a total ghost geek.
I watch every ghost hunting show that comes along. I don’t stick with them all, but I take a gander to see if I like it.
So one of my bucket list/45X45/50X50 items was a ghost hunt.
And I managed to swing my way into a ghost hunt right here in Indiana at the Randolph County Infirmary.
It was through a company, and though there were issues, it was a really cool way to spend my 40th birthday weekend.
There were 40 of us there (issue primo uno). There was instruction on the devices, and a session with their psychic.
Then we went on our hunt.
I willingly went alone into a very dark, creepy, boiler room to do a solo EVP recording where I got pushed on the shoulders (so cool). Unfortunately my EVP session was contaminated by the people talking super loud in the next room, and the people walking heavily up and down the stairs.
I caught orbs in my pictures, and got to use EMF detectors and Spirit Boxes. It was awesome.
I’m not one of those people that got mopey and depressed over my 40th. Even through the rough year I was having…but this?
This was an awesome way to spend my birthday. I want to do it again. With less people, in a more notorious place.
Hubby is all in with me.
Next stop…Waverly Hills. Next year…hopefully.
by Sarah | Dec 18, 2017 | All About Me, Dance, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Story of Me
*Apologies to podophobes around, as I am one, a post about a foot is so unappealing to us, I know…but it is a tale that needs told. A warning, if thou will.
Once upon a yesteryear I was a dancer. Tap, jazz, ballet. Group dances, solos, I even taught the young’uns how to dance. I started dancing at the age of 3, started teaching at the age of 10. In middle school I choreographed our musical. I loved to dance. I plan on reclaiming that love, but that is a post for another day. This post is about my feets.
As a dancer, my feet took a lot of abuse. Not as much as say, a prima ballerina in pointe shoes all the time, but they took abuse.
On top of that I have a genetic quirk I get from my mom. My big toes have been crooked from day one. Instead of sitting straight, they turn in.
I know, big toes turn in a little, is normal…but no. Mine turned way in. Like, it nestled beneath the second toe all of my life. This natural “quirk” meant I have had ever-growing bunions from the teen years.
For many years they did not cause me pain. In fact, my running joke was that most people have to jam their toes into the points of heels, but my toes naturally had that shape.
They didn’t hurt…until they did.
In 2012 I first saw a podiatrist. He said we could fix the foot, but if it didn’t hurt, he suggested just watching it.
So we watched.
Then I started working in places where I stood on hard, unforgiving, concrete floors for 40 hours a week.
Then the pain edged its way in.
In 2013 I went to the podiatrist again. We scheduled a surgery.
One week before Christmas I went under the knife for the worst of the two feet. For six weeks I painfully remained off my feet, then painfully returned to walking. My podiatrist did not send me to physical therapy, just told me walking would return the flexibility to normal.
So I walked.
And I waited.
And I walked.
And I waited.
And the pain never got better.
I would be “okay” one minute, and the next the pain would spike through my big toe like you wouldn’t believe.
I had no flexibility.
Yoga (which I LOVE) was painful.
I waited three years. The pain wasn’t going away. There was no flexibility. I didn’t know what to do. Worse, my other foot was hurting me in ways my right foot never did.
So I went and found another podiatrist.
We sat and talked a long time about my options. What surgery was possible. I had to choose between my left and right foot. The right foot would be a corrective surgery and in the doc’s words, “I don’t know what the last doc did, so I won’t know until I get in there what I will have to do for sure.”
Hubby and I talked it over, and finally decided to have corrective surgery on my right foot. I was not about to risk surgery on a perfectly good foot when my right foot still hurt.
So in 2016, I had a corrective surgery done on my right foot.
Afterwards I had high hopes. The pain was far less for this surgery. My surgeon had me walking pretty much immediately after (in a cast). Things were looking up.
Then they took off the bandages and my toe was straight! My foot looked like a Franken-foot…but dang, was that toe straight!
I went to Physical Therapy and did everything he told me to do at home.
Hope was high.
Then the high began to wear off.
Because of the wire he installed in my second toe, there is no flexibility in it. I can’t point it.
Because (I would find out at a follow up appointment) of doing TWO surgeries on my big toe…I would, forever, have pain…because the double surgery caused arthritis (which I was not warned about).
In fact, instead of lying under the second toe, the big toe now having crept back toward crooked now pops up over top of the wired-stiff toe.
I don’t have as much pain as I did, but it’s still there. My toe is still not straight. I have lost all forward flexibility in two toes…but I can do yoga.
So there’s that.
I guess.
Long story short…no one is touching my left foot. Ever.
I want to dance again…and I might be able to do it with one bum foot.
I won’t be able to if I let them near foot number 2.
by Sarah | Aug 21, 2017 | 45 before 45, 50 before 50, All About Me, All of Us, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Story of Me
Some years ago I created a 45X45 list of 45 things I wanted to do before I turned 45. Over the past six(ish?) years I’ve revised it several times…adding things and taking others away.
This year, I turned 41. I’m creeping up on 45 faster than I like to think about, mainly because I didn’t feel I had enough of the items on the list done. Of course, there were a few things I wanted to add as well.
So I sat down with my list, looked it over. Once again I did some trimming, cut a few items, then I added some more.
I’m super excited to tackle the list. There are at least two items that I get to cross off within this next month, which will be really cool. The solar eclipse is a given, and I’m going to where there will be 98.99% coverage, so bonus! Then, at the end of the month hubby and I are heading to Disney World (which we will return to in December…woot)…which, since I went to Disneyland in May, will put me in both US based parks within a one year span!
After that…there’s a lot of options ahead of me. Take a look at my new list:
50 X 50
Take a real vacation. (Not to Buffalo, not w/ the kids) (Done 4/23/12)Take my kids to Disney World. (Done, thanks to Make-A-Wish 10/28/14)See my name in print (get published, e-zine, paper-zine). (Done 6/24/12 – Sirens Call June 2012 Issue)Have a novel published. (Done 2/8/13 – Changing Tracks & 17 more times [so far] by 7/18/15)- Get my Dominion Falls books series in front of a producer.
- Completely tidy my house [w/reference to KonMari]. (Started w/ my clothes. Lots left to do)
- Take a photography class (or 2 or 3)
Perform on stage again (done 12/4/15 – Violet Grey in A Charlie Brown Christmas)- See Colorado
- Camp – really camp in the Rockies
- See Yellowstone
- Go skydiving. [Yes, I feel slightly insane here]
Go to a blogger’s conference. (done 4/23/12)- Sit at a book signing.
- Get on a regular exercise regime & stay on it for more than 3 months.
Hand craft (knit, sew) 1 item for ME for a change. (DONE 4/1/12)- Make a complete Victorian era dress from skin out. (underthings complete, corset 50% complete)
Get some crazy color in my hair (purple, blue, pink highlites/streaks) Done 2/11/12- Read the Harry Potter series aloud to my girls. (2/3 of the way through by 8/4/17)
- Sing Karaoke
- Get up close with the wolves & photograph them at Wolf Park.
- Move to Florida.
- Pay off debt.
- Get a car that is less than 2 years old
Run a 5k. Done 9/22/12 Do something daring (paragliding, zipline, etc.) Done 7/14/12See the butterflies at the Indy Zoo (Done 3/19/13)- Learn sign language.
- Go on a road trip with a girlfriend
- Go on a hot air balloon ride
See Cirque du Soleil (Done 6/27/2012)- Ride a horse – not a trail horse. A real ride on a horse.
- Volunteer
- Stop drinking pop
Visit Disneyland (Done 5/2/17)Get a tattoo (Done 7/16/11)- Go on a Cruise [preferably Alaskan, but I’m not picky]
Go on a wine tasting (Done 10/16/10)- Get a Henna tattoo
- Take my husband to swim with sharks
- Fly first class
- Read at least 50 of the 100 Greatest Novels (I am saying the book can be from either of the 2 lists there. In total I have read 8/50 at this point)
Have a real spa day (Done, thanks to Hubs, 7/2014)Visit a real haunted location (Done 7/16/16)- Sell a photo
- Visit Salem, MA
- Visit both US based Disney Parks in one year.
- See a solar eclipse.
- Have one of my pictures on the Indianapolis Zoo website.
- Go through a sweat lodge ceremony.
So, I have to pick one to do next. Which would you choose?
by Sarah | Dec 30, 2016 | All About Me, All of Us, Depression, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Special Needs, Story of Me
I’ve always been the “Silver Linings” girl.
Well, maybe not always. I did have a rough time as a tween/teen.
Still, since adulthood I’ve tried to always keep on the bright side, to put a positive spin on things, to see the good in people and believe in their best when they might not be showing you their good side. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve tried – and mostly succeeded.
There’s been times I’ve been down pretty deep in the doldrums, times where it lingered. Somehow I’ve always pulled myself out. I’d hesitate to call it anything like depression because I’ve seen depression, I’ve seen what pain others feel, and I was never that deep, never that lost.
This year has been rough. I’ve said it many times. It’s knocked me down over and again, every time I’ve tried to pick myself up.
I thought it was just the bad times knocking me down.
Those were the reason I couldn’t pick myself back up so easily.
Those nasty, horrible events were the reason I couldn’t drum out the doldrums as I always had before.
They were the reason the good times didn’t have the luster they usually did.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve had to be honest with myself.
I’ve had to be honest with my husband.
And I forced myself to be honest with my doctor.
I am depressed.
I can’t do this on my own.
I’ve been trying to claw my way back out for months all on my own.
All it’s done is left me nasty, bitter, and angry on top of depressed.
I was always worried I’d insult those with severe depression by admitting mine. However, my bipolar husband thinks I’m being ridiculous by thinking that. As he put it, “Would you not admit you were sick because someone else has cancer?” Sometimes, he’s pretty damn spot on.
So here I am. Being honest with you all, as I’m attempting to be honest with myself.
I am surrounded by my family, but I feel alone.
I am surrounded by joy, but I feel removed from it.
I feel like I’ve tried to reach out, but no one reaches back.
I’m tired of not going out, because I don’t see the point…and because I’m afraid no one will care either way if I’m there anyway.
I feel like the bad is winning. That we will never be in a good place again, personally, financially, physically.
I’ve begun to seek help, but I think it’s going to be a long row to hoe.
And I’m so tired of feeling alone.
by Sarah | Jun 17, 2016 | All About Me, All of Us, I'm A Reader, Personal, Random, Redefining Perfect
It’s been a rough year, so I take every moment of joy and kindness with a little extra heart these days.
A few weeks ago an innocent conversation at work turned into one of my favorite stories ever.
An older gentleman came to my window to transact his bank business. We made the common small talk, but then he took notice of my necklace. It’s nothing elaborate, just a moon-wrapped pentacle pendant–that I wear simultaneously with a Mickey Mouse pendant.
He paused in our conversation and said, “Your necklace reminds me of a book series I just read. It was very good, I enjoyed it a lot. Now what was it?”
As he pondered, I finished his transaction.
Then he had his epiphany. “Oh, yes! The Hunger Games! Have you read it? It’s really good.”
Call me sexist and ageist, but I was surprised when he announced he’d just read a YA series…but I brushed off my non-PC moment and smiled. I nodded and replied. “Oh yes, I have heard of it, many of my friends have read it, but I haven’t read them myself yet.”
“Oh, you should! I tell you what–I’ll bring in my copies, and you read them.” At my initial protest he held up his hand. “No, really. The only thing I ask is that once you’ve read them, you pass them on to someone else to read. Books are meant to be shared.”
He left and I thought little about it again…until I got to work the next week, and the whole series was awaiting me in my station.
So now, I’ve moved these to the top of my list…because such a gesture must be met with enthusiasm.
And thus, I am now (finally?) reading The Hunger Games.
by Sarah | Oct 8, 2015 | All About Denver, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Cystic Fibrosis, Disney, Make-A-Wish, Personal, Redefining Perfect, Special Needs
The past four months have been chaotic and filled with a secretive sort of excitement.
Denver has us keeping a rather large secret from the girls.
We are returning to Disney this fall!
I have been scrambling for dining reservations, suitcases, and other necessities that I have to sneak into the house and hide from the girls.
Because they do NOT know.
Part of Denver’s wish at Make A Wish was to keep this whole thing a big, fat, humongous secret from his two little sisters.
So we are whispers, sneaking, and super secret planning and count-downing. Texting ideas instead of saying them out loud.
Oh, we’ve nearly been caught several times…but any time the girls hear Disney or we discuss anything in front of them, it’s “in 2021”. (For the record, we are planning a trip in 2021 that will be larger in scale and involve good friends along for the ride)
2021 is a great cover story when we get caught.
But we are going back…and the teen and I are making a serious effort for real planning.
We have secured all the reservations we REALLY wanted (getting into the parks early! Yay!). We’ve scoured maps and discussed what was missed last year and will not be missed again. We’ve supplied ourselves with a bunch of pins for trading (and keeping!!). We’ve watched and re-watched all the Disney shows to be had (thank you, Destination America) until our DVR broke.
In 20 days from now, a limo will arrive bright and early while the girls are still in bed. We will have everything packed and ready to go and we’ll burst into the girls room yelling that they’re late for school and rush them outside to the waiting limo!!
The excitement is palpable.
The countdown is a way to get us through the rough days.
And there have been a lot of them these days.
Thank goodness for the mouse.
I am a total ghost geek.
There were 40 of us there (issue primo uno). There was instruction on the devices, and a session with their psychic.
