by Sarah | May 13, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Pagan Me Happy, Personal, Redefining Perfect
Once a month I’ll be posting a new Spirit Animal. This is both for me to study and learn, but also to help inspire each month.
This month the animal made itself known to me in a way that should seem obvious to have happen, but it was truly a first for me. During meditation at the beginning of April I had an experience that I wasn’t expecting. Often during meditation not much happens except a sense of chilling out, stillness.
This time, though, several images appeared as silhouettes in my vision…and they were all of my recent spirit animals. First, the lumbering form of the alligator, followed by the skunk, and the graceful giraffe…then out of nowhere flitted a bat, so clear and strong I knew not to ignore him.
Given that I’m not currently writing this from Florida…the immediate message might have been obviously clear, but I didn’t research him right away so I had no way of knowing what was about to occur and why he’d made himself so obvious so early in the month, when I hadn’t yet even posted about the giraffe.
Today his first and most pronounced meaning is blatantly obviously clear:
When the bat flies in as your spirit animal, he signifies a time of great changes.
Uh…well..I would say DUH, but that would be rude…so…yeah, he totally and completely did.
Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped there in my research, because I’m often digging deep into the meaning of the animals that approach me.
This time his appearance is so utterly clear and in my face, I saw no point in looking deeper. Sometimes, just like us, those spirits are BLUNT. lol.
What animal is speaking to you this month? Do they have lessons for you?
by Sarah | May 12, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Gratitude, Redefining Perfect
As part of my Oola journey, I’m making an effort to be more grateful. My daily planner has a place specifically labeled for Gratitude. I’d like to spread some of that love here, too.
I am grateful for –
Florida
Crowd surfing
Free activities
Free wifi
Lovely views
Gorgeous hikes
A perfect little house
Last days.
First days.
Anticipation.
Quiet evenings.
New lessons.
Small blessings.
Huge blessings.
Every road block.
Mountains turned to mole hills.
New adventures.
A different view.
Unintentional time away from social media.
Exploring.
Hello again, my old friend Canon….
by Sarah | May 10, 2019 | All About Family, All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Friday Feels, Personal, Pour Your Heart Out, Redefining Perfect
One of the biggest struggles I’ve faced in recent weeks with us moving is my dad being ill.
To be fair, it was his encouragement to not wait that helped us move up our original timeline, but still…
Add to that the fact that my mother and I had made steps to heal our fractured relationship, and it’s been a tug-of-war on my heart.
Then one day the call I’d dreaded came, or so I thought.
My mom called from the hospital.
My head and heart spun with the possibilities of what on earth could have happened to dad…
But it wasn’t him.
It was HER.
The “healthy” one of the two. She has some ailments, to be sure…but my dad is the one that’s truly ailing.
So when your healthy parent goes in to the ER with chest pains, and has to follow it up with a heart cath.
Everything goes upside on you.
Then you have two parents to take care of.
The “healthy” one isn’t as healthy as you thought.
Who do you check on first? Who do you keep an eye on, and who watches who?
One’s issues are expected, almost commonplace now – but now new panic and worries arise.
And you have to struggle with how to deal with all of that – especially with a parent that doesn’t like to be a bother.
Than, you get the call that you have a job and you’re moving in a month.
While I know they’ve got plenty of help here what with my brother and aunt living close by…it’s still rough to have gotten this job and be moving so quickly after this sort of chaos.
In so many ways I’m still struggling to make sense of my dad’s illness – and I’ve known about it for almost 15 years.
It’s hard to think that I’ll be so far away. That I’ll need to keep an emergency flight fund on hand at all times…and now not just for him, but for mom too because we still don’t know what happened or why she ended up in the ER (the heart cath came up clean, thank goodness).
It’s put a damper on our course.
It’s added anxiety to a relationship that was just starting to mend.
I feel a strong sense of guilt leaving…even though I know this is the right path for us.
I suppose now, more than ever, I’m feeling what my mom felt almost 30 years ago when she had to pack up her family and leave Buffalo to move out here to Hickville.
I knew I was leaving one sick parent…now I worry about them both.
I always thought Mom could survive on pure stubbornness alone.
Apparently not even she’s that good.
by Sarah | May 7, 2019 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Family, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, All of Us, Redefining Perfect
Growing up the rhetoric was always the same.
“You need to go to college to get a good job.”
“You can’t go into dance, it’s not a career. You need something to fall back on.”
“You don’t have the strength to handle the rejection of Broadway. Go to college. Get a real education.”
“Go to college.”
“Get a degree.”
It was drilled into me over and over and over. I had to go to college. I had to. I couldn’t go for dance, I had to do something that was “worthy” of my intelligence, and my parents approval.
*~*
I went to college.
Twice.
First time I went for Environmental Science.
I flunked out…spectacularly.
Like, have you ever heard of someone having a 0.0 GPA?
Yeah….
Two years later I went back. New school. New state. New dream.
This time I went for Dance Education. I did well. I excelled, actually. 3.83 GPA.
Then I got kicked out of my aunt’s house because her husband is a spectacular ass and ended up out of school for a semester, then when I got back on my feet ready to re-enroll I learned I was pregnant and that was all she wrote.
*~*
College didn’t work for me. I have plans now, as an adult, to further my education again – but it’s taken me a long time to figure out what I’d want to go for to follow through on a promise made.
*~*
My kids?
Well…I’ve always held firm to the belief that the future was theirs.
When he was younger, my son wanted to be an astronaut, then a doctor…and then…he wanted none of it.
Did he have the intelligence for it? Hells to the yes. That boy is smart as a whip. He could probably have completed med school and become any kind of doctor he’d wanted…
But he no longer wanted it.
I knew all too well that being forced to go to school when it’s not what you want only leads to debt for something unfinished, and in some cases, completely unattended.
Do I worry about him?
Well, duh. He’s my kid.
But all I’ve ever wanted for my kids is for them to be happy. To find what they want and go after that dream. Denver did, he found it and took off 2 years ago and is still happy as I’ve ever known him.
Next up is the girls. Molly is about to enter high school – I mean, WHAT? When I started this blog she was a toddler!!
But I digress.
As of right now – neither of my girls have their eyes set on college. They both have a thing for art. They don’t know what they want out of it yet, and for all we know they may choose a different future for themselves.
Will it make it an easy path for them? Maybe not…
Will it make them happy?
Boy, I sure hope so.
Denver has proven that with enough drive and dedication, you can make a pretty good life without it. It’s taking me longer to prove the same to myself, but I’m getting there.
Whatever dream, whatever path, my girls choose – I’m there for them.
I truly believe that they need to live out their dreams, not mine.
I hope those dreams take them far.
No matter what, I will be proud of them for chasing them. I hope they are proud of me for chasing mine, even if those dreams came along later for me than it will for them.
by Sarah | May 6, 2019 | All About Me, All of Us, Blogging Life, Oola, Personal, Redefining Perfect
I’ve had a few different jobs in my life, as many of us have.
I’ve been in food service as a waitress, a host, a barista, a cafe manager. I worked in retail at several different places from a clothing store to a dollar store. I was in banking on and off for 20 years. I hated banking. With a white hot passion hated it.
In 2017 I dared to quit my job without something to back it up (Very un-oola, but I didn’t know oola yet) and left the banking industry determined to never go back to it.
It wasn’t easy, but thanks to a few good turns of events, a good friend, and a little sprinkle of luck I landed a new job in a completely new-to-me field.
Health Care.
I swear I mean it when I say I had NO idea what I was getting into. I knew I’d be working in the ER, but how much would I have to see? I have a very poor/weak constitution when it comes to things like blood and guts. I’ve never worked in health care, and while I have special needs children, my medical knowledge was pretty much…next to nothing.
I never dreamed how much this job would change me, my life, my goals. How it would inspire me to hope to return to school. How I would feel I found the place I belonged.
Over the past year and a half many things have changed, and some things at my job have changed, too, to the point where my job was just flat out not the same…but I still loved the people I worked with and the company I worked for and my managers and the doctors, nurses, and the many varied stories. My tasks were always the same, but every single day was so different.
Having to turn in my notice here was the true definition of bittersweet. It gave me great joy knowing that I was pursuing my dream and preparing to move, but I have never struggled so much to leave a job. My last day led to some great laughter, great hugs, and great tears.
This place took a chance on me, a woman with absolutely no experience in the field, and gave me some real goals for my future. They turned out a person that loves the field of healthcare administration and cannot wait for the opportunity to learn more and do more.
I have been saying for a while now that I’ve found what I love to do and where I love to do it, it was just in the wrong state. I’m hoping that my next position furthers this belief and brings me as much joy as this job did.
I will miss my doctors, my nurses, my hospital.
Leaving a job has never been so hard.
Only the draw of the future I’m meant to find could have ever made me leave.
by Sarah | May 4, 2019 | All of Us, Blogging Life, BlogRollin', Redefining Perfect
With so much going on in my life this month – I feel like I may have missed out on some posts…but I still managed to gather a few that I enjoyed, and I don’t care to skip a month on this if I can help it! So, without further ado, onto the sharing!
*~*
The Queen of Free, Cherie, always has some great tips on paying off your debt. This week she breaks it down into 7 small, easy to follow tips that could have a big impact. One of which I need to practice with more frequency for sure…the grocery list. Ugh. I suck at that one!
Linda over at All & Sundry writes a beautiful post about a task she was iffy to complete, but her husband wanted to “check off that box”…and yes, it’s Disney-related, because of course…but she writes beautiful about their trip to Disneyland and how lovely a time their family had together. Just be careful, it’ll make you want to check off that box, too.
Karl’s post is about his Unfavorite Things is so much fun, I may just do that thing he talks about where I steal it and credit him back..I mean, I spend a lot of time in gratitude, but sometimes there are things that just my unfavorite…
Rachael could be writing my own thoughts and feelings when she talksa bout why she’ll never quit Facebook. Which is funny, considering I never wanted to start…
You’ve heard me wax nostalgic about Give Kids the World…but I’m not the only one. Matt talks about his family’s recent trip for his daughter’s wish in a way that makes me super excited to go back as an alumni again soon!!
The Bloggess is so crazy popular because she continually exhibits how she’s just like us (but occasionally weirder, which I aspire to be)…and this latest post about an embroidery incident is so totally me.
In recent months I’ve been revealing a lot more of my real self than I ever have in the past…it’s totally terrifying in many ways. So, this post by Amy on her recent experience doing the same touched my heart and gave me all the feels.
**
That’s it for now. I’m keeping my eye out for more.
If you think I missed YOURS, let me know in a comment here! I’d love to find some new feeds for my reader!
Once a month I’ll be posting a new Spirit Animal. This is both for me to study and learn, but also to help inspire each month.
