Sometimes it’s the little things that seem so big

by | Jul 28, 2011 | All About Molly, Autism, Special Needs, WTF?

[flickr id=”5984317283″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]
Since halfway through Kindergarten Riley has been an avid reader. Fervent. Excited. Searching. Learning. Teaching.

She taught her sister to read.

She devoured so many books.

Books are one of her distinct and clear joys.

So last night it was a shock.

A horror.

Dismay.

Hearing a noise from the girls room, I went into their room.

Riley was lying in bed calm as can be…

Ripping apart her books.

Five of them.

Destroyed.

All the pages strewn across the floor.

When we asked her why she said that she was happy.

She was happy.

So she ripped up her books.

Then it was pure horror when she realized she was not going to be able to read them ever again.

To top that off she’s beating up her sister again.

Fiercely.

There are scratches all over my Angel’s back, shoulders and HEAD.

We are concerned.

Because she ripped books.

But its a flag.

And we are concerned.

The Ink…

by | Jul 25, 2011 | All About Me, Ink

I first wanted ink when I was 18.  When I was 18 I carried my mother’s voice with me everywhere.  And while this didn’t discourage me from the DESIRE to get a tattoo…it did discourage me for getting something I would regret.

And I would have. Because I would have gotten Taz (as in the Tasmanian Devil).

And much as I love Taz – I would have regretted it by now.

So I promptly forgot about it until I got ‘old enough’ in my brain to choose something I loved.

Around 22 or 23 I had the image set in my head…but then the fear held me back. The fear of the pain.

Finally I became determined. Last year I was pointed to  a place to get it…and I started setting it up. My 35th birthday I would finally get my tattoo. It wasn’t the one I envisioned when I was 23 (which I still plan on getting at a later date) – but it was one even more special.

So the day arrived and I gathered my friends close.  My nerves were high, I was so tense, anxious…okay…afraid.

She made the first mark and asked me how it was.

With a huge breath of relief (and surprise) I said “It didn’t hurt at all!!”

From that point the tattoo was smooth sailing.  We talked, joked, pitied the guy next to us getting a tree tattooed across his ribs…at one point I tweeted while getting my ink on.  In the end…I loved it…and I’m planning my next, while trying to convince the hubby to get his.

Getting the stencil set:[flickr id=”5976156176″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”5976156562″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]

First harrowing minutes:[flickr id=”5976156684″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”] [flickr id=”5975594673″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]

Hey! This is fun! Tweeting & Tattooing:[flickr id=”5976157358″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]

Snoozing & Tattooing (okay, I didn’t actually doze, but I came close):[flickr id=”5975595493″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]

Finished:[flickr id=”5968345333″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”none”]

 

Those Horrible Days…

by | Jul 22, 2011 | All About Denver, All About Me, The Teenager

[flickr id=”5888954984″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]Once upon a time it was us against the world.

There were no secrets.

Lots of snuggles.

Lots of talks.

He told me everything.

Now he’s 13.

When I had to tell him about the neighbors passing, I expected something…words…hugs…tears…

Instead he asked to go for a bike ride.

He didn’t want to deal with it when I was there.  He didn’t want to talk about it. He tensed when I tried to hug him. He tried to force back every tear that threatened to fall.

Selfishly I went outside and threw a class-action temper tantrum a kindergartner would be proud of.

I wasn’t mad at him.

I was mad at me.

Where had I gone wrong?  Did I not have enough patience? Have I been too focused on the girls that I lost touch with him once they were old enough to survive w/o constant attention?  Do I just suck as a mother?

I miss the little boy that truly believed he could tell me anything.

I miss the feeling that he and I have a connection that no one could take away.

The teenage years have just begun.

I already hate them.

I don’t blame him. I don’t blame me (usually).

I still hate them.

I don’t know how I will survive these teenage years.

Pouting Randomness

by | Jul 20, 2011 | All of Us, Crap, Random

[flickr id=”5959711952″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]My BFF Jess and her brood have left the building.  On Tuesday they started the long drive home to Virginia, and my house was quiet. I didn’t post while they were here much, and I’ve spent the past two days recovering from their presence. It was a marvelous time and we’re hoping to make it an annual thing.  Sooo….while my brain is recovering you get random plot points of my life.

* BEST.Birthday.in.YEARS. For the past I don’t know how many years my birthday has sucked. This year was a new experience and joy.

* I got my tattoo!!  Full story coming later. In short – I was terrified of the pain. I didn’t hardly flinch. Planning 2, 3, & 4.

* I have a renewed appreciation for Cocksucker TV (as Jess called it…i.e. DEADWOOD).  I will always love this show and will always hate HBO for cancelling it.  But watching it with my BFF (okay, we only got through half) was so much fun.  I knew I’d get her addicted – and I did.

* Her oldest boy (we’ll call him Jack for privacy purposes) and mine were like two peas in a pod.  Instant re-friendship and camaraderie.

* There is another #IndyGeekGirls meeting this week. I still haven’t RSVP’d. I guess I should decide if I’m going or not. Since it’s Friday and today is Wednesday. Yup, I’m slow.

* Oh, just remember that my tattoo means I can cross another item off of my 45X45 list. YAY!!

* P.S. In case you didn’t know…that birthday was number 35.  Some days I don’t feel anywhere near it…other days I feel sooo much older.

* My wonderful hubby Archie was a marvelous champ this weekend.  Crowds and changes in routine can really affect him physically and mentally with anxiety and other issues.  This weekend?  He was marvelous.  He was great with the kids, and he and Jess got along just fine (I was worried, last time he met a good online friend things did not go well).  Love him – thank you honey!!!

* My parents got me a gift card to Hobby Lobby. I don’t know how I will manage to choose what to use it on. That store is dangerous.

* Our neighbor across the street passed away. This is the second time this has happened since we’ve lived here (same house, different circumstances).  Unfortunately this time it was someone we knew a little better – at least Brandon did.  While the gentleman was a bit on the cranky side – he had a soft spot for Brandon and was always really nice. He even helped him stay in a Union tent at our towns Civil War Heritage days and fixed it so he could fire off a cannon. Just a month ago.  Brandon is understandably upset.

* I’m ready for school to start. Looking forward to a few hours of quiet a day to get things done.  Just a month to go until it’s back to school for the kids – ALL of them!!

* It is HOT. Insanely hot. A/C running ALL the time kind of hot. This does not make me happy. Too hot to do anything but stay inside…and the kids have been on each others nerves for weeks already. Riley & Angel are at each others throats.

And I will stop now…more posts coming ASAP…

No Time At All…

by | Jul 16, 2011 | All About Family, All of Us

[flickr id=”5941417182″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”]A year and a half ago we went.

Hopping in a car my three kids & I went to Virginia. To meet my best friend, Jess.

Within ten minutes of arrival friendships were formed.  For the 5 days we were there the boys were inseparable.

A year and a half later, Jess turned the tables.  She has come here.

Though they haven’t talked much.

Time and distance (and groundings) have limited their chances to communicate.

It was like no time had passed at all.

Thick as thieves.

Running and playing.

Chess & the Wii.

Friends.