by Sarah | Jul 5, 2011 | All About Denver, All About Erik, All About Home, All About Kennedy, All About Me, All About Molly, Random
[flickr id=”5502918424″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”] Brandon left on Sunday.
Boy Scout camp for a full week.
Riley & Angel left this afternoon.
Gone to their grandparents for 2 days.
Archie leaves in the morning.
Off to work. Then to Family Night at Scout camp. Then work the next day.
The house is empty, save for me.
I sit in silence.
I will most likely be cleaning – something I always do when left alone.
During the in-between I will sit and soak up the silence.
Stuck between content and disturbed.
Normally chaos and noise fill this house.
The silence is disconcerting.
But rare enough that I will take some time to enjoy it.
I have a stack of books to read. Trying to meet my 50 books read in 2011 goal (15 read, several partially read).
I have 6 rooms that all need cleaning – one that needs a splash of paint on the trim.
I will complete what I can.
And enjoy some time off.
by Sarah | Jul 4, 2011 | All About Molly
[flickr id=”5885701216″ thumbnail=”medium” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”] Let us live for the beauty of our own reality. ~Charles Lamb
Different.
Standing outside, wanting to get in.
Pure of heart.
Sharpest mind I’ve ever seen.
He alone is an acute observer, who can observe minutely without being observed. ~Johann Kaspar Lavater
Seeing the world differently.
Looking in gives unique perspective.
Knowing before she can express her knowledge.
Missing nothing.
Ignorance is bold and knowledge reserved. ~Thucydides
She doesn’t love on sight.
Affection is withheld.
Until you are in.
Known.
On her terms she lets you in.
And once she hugs you.
Holds you tight and kisses you.
Places her trust in her knowledge of you.
There is no better hug.
No fiercer love.
No brighter star.
by Sarah | Jul 2, 2011 | All About Kennedy
[flickr id=”5883282550″ thumbnail=”small” overlay=”true” size=”small” group=”” align=”left”] Neither love nor fire can subsist without perpetual motion; both cease to live so soon as they cease to hope, or to fear. ~François de la Rochefoucauld
She is never still.
My Angel.
Always in motion, even at rest.
Curious about everything.
Has to touch it, feel it, question it, learn it.
The world is but a canvas to our imaginations. ~Henry David Thoreau
She sees the world with bright eyes.
Hears music no one else hears.
Sings songs of her own workings.
Finds fun and life in nothing more than a rock.
A tomboy, and a princess, all wrapped into one.
Child of the pure, unclouded brow And dreaming eyes of wonder! Though time be fleet and I and thou Are half a life asunder, Thy loving smile will surely hail The love-gift of a fairy tale. ~Lewis Carroll
She loves with all her heart.
And can melt yours with a smile.
Or one look of her big brown eyes.
A Daddy’s Girl.
My precious Angel.
A sample of the purest love. Unconditional love.
Our Angel.
by Sarah | Jun 28, 2011 | All About Denver, All About Kennedy, Cystic Fibrosis, Special Needs
Today we met with the genetics counselor.
We left with nothing.
Nothing new.
The suggestion that a grad student may want to write a paper on our freakish family to be published in a medical journal.
We’re weird.
The science cannot explain the CF abnormalities in our family.
The only thing ‘new’ we learned was the specific genetic defects on Angel & Brandon’s CFTR gene. We have names for their CF.
But no more answers.
And so we soldier on.
With CF diagnoses that have no solid genetic confirmations.
With treatments for a disease that is “Atypical”.
We wait and see if one day our freak family will be put on parade in the hope of ‘helping’ the scientific community.
We wait and see how mild or active the weirdness of CF becomes for our kids.
We wait for nothing to change.
We wait for everything to change.
We wait.
by Sarah | Jun 23, 2011 | All About Molly, Crap, Random
(Arachnophobes beware)
The other day Riley rushed up to me with big eyes.
Holding her hands a foot apart she informed me…
“There’s a spider THIS BIG in the bathroom!!”
“THAT big?” I asked, grinning.
She nodded seriously, still holding her hands that far apart, “THIS BIG!”
In truth it was about 5 inches from long leg point to long leg point, a big spider…but I just thought it was so cute that she thought it was THIS BIG.
The spider was not harmed, I left her alone where she was (hey, she kills bugs, which we have too many of). Whens he came down from her ceiling perch to disrupt my shower she still was not killed. I gingerly picked her up by one leg and carried her outside to release her into the wild. She has since returned and taken up residence in the corner of the kitchen. She is welcome, and unless absolutely necessary will not be harmed…
and she’s still THIS BIG.
by Sarah | Jun 21, 2011 | All About Kennedy, Special Needs
Angel was a mere two months old.
Adorable.
Small still – almost preemie-like.
I had just fed her, holding her until she fell asleep.
I set her in the car seat I let her nap in.
Set a blanket over the car seat to shield her from the bright light of my bedroom and settled back to read.
It wasn’t five minutes later.
There was a sound.
One I will never forget.
Choking. Wet. Gurgling.
The blanket was thrown aside and I saw my precious baby twisted and still, eyes wide. Not breathing. Not moving.
We were in the car and flying to the hospital within a minute – no small feat with three kids
That was the day I ran into the ER in tears screaming that my baby stopped breathing.
Never have I seen that ER team move that fast.
Never have I felt the terror of wondering what had happened, fearing the worst.
They feared a seizure and ran tests.
She was in the hospital for 48 hours.
In the end, my baby was okay. We never really knew what happened. Perhaps it was reflux, choking on her own spit up thanks to her dysphagia. No infection was found.
But I will never forget the sound. The sight. The ER visit. The terror.
It helps me remember how lucky I am that she’s here. That they all are.
