Thursday Tell All – Rayna Guilbeau of The Last Daughter

by Sarah | Dec 4, 2013 | Character Interview, Guest Authors, Thursday Tell All, Writing

1. What is your story?

I’ve known from the beginning that I didn’t belong in Louisiana, that my roots weren’t there, so I’ve always wanted to find my family. No one would tell me anything about them, or where I’m from. No one would explain why a heart was branded on my chest, or why my so-called Louisiana cousins didn’t like me. My story is that no one would tell me my story. Does that make sense?

1. Who are you?

I’m a girl without a future. Until I can find out who I am, where I come from—who I come from–I have no future. I’m sure that sounds melodramatic to most of you but when you ask who I am—I have no answer for you. My name is Rayna Guilbeau. But is it really?

1. Do you have a problem that wasn’t mentioned in the story?

No, I’m pretty open and transparent. Except … I have to admit I didn’t want to reveal too much to Trent Jones in the beginning. Why should I? No one has ever told me the truth so I didn’t think I could trust him either. Maybe in the beginning my problem was not trusting or maybe my problem was trusting too much. Read my story and decide for yourself.

1. Do you embrace conflict?

Funny you should ask that question. I certainly embraced it in The Last Daughter, didn’t? I butted heads with conflict. In a way, I guess I created it.

1. Do you run from conflict?

Isn’t there an old saying what doesn’t kill us makes us strong. When I think that Trent and I could have lost our lives because of the conflict I brought into our lives, my heart actually skips a beat or two. I realize we’re a lot stronger because we met conflict head on, and I learned a lot about Trent. I can depend on him. I don’t run from conflict, and neither does he.

1. How do you see yourself?

Before my story was created, I actually saw myself as a nonentity: powerless, insignificant, non-existent. Now, after learning who I am, after meeting Trent Jones—after living through my story, I feel whole. Funny that meeting evil face to face, surviving evil, can infuse one with … well, life, I guess. New life.

1. How do your friends see you?

I’ve never had friends. I went through school being the outcast because of the Louisiana ‘cousins’ I lived with. They blackballed me and I never understood why. Because I looked different? Because I acted strange? Because their parents told them my story? Who knows? Maybe that’s something I’ll tackle next. Wouldn’t that be interesting to confront my life and those family members in Louisiana now that I’ve embraced the horrors of my Oklahoma birth?

1. How do your enemies see you?

I was compared to a stray cat. I was told he should have put me in a bag and tossed me in the river the way he did his sister’s kitten. How many daughters can say their father wished them dead?

1. How does the author see you? 

The author of my story loved me from the beginning. She infused me with much of her own strength, but a lot of her own fear and insecurity went into me too. My author made me more beautiful than I felt. Believe me, I argued with her, but she insisted I looked exactly like a young Angie Harmon. I think that’s hilarious. Sometimes I stare into a mirror and try to see what she sees. I still don’t see it. When she knew I was going to confront my father, she put me in a lovely, feminine sundress—one that would show him exactly what he’d done to me. When I walked down those stairs and Trent sucked in his breath, I knew it was the right dress to wear. And when my father saw me for the first time, when I saw the surprise cross his face, his eyes widen … I felt like the winner. Sure, his hurtful words, his cruelty was like a knife jabbing my flesh over and over again, but with my author standing with me—and Trent—I knew I’d come out on top. I just wish I didn’t have to suffer such loss.

1. What, if anything, haunts you?

I keep asking myself if I could have done things differently. I’d yearned for my mother and father for years. I’d prayed for a family that would love me. I believe in happily-ever-afters but I guess we can’t have it all, can we?

1. Has anyone ever betrayed you?

My parents. My author’s husband always asks, “If a child can’t trust her parents, who can she trust?” Is the answer no one?

1. Have you ever betrayed anyone?

No. I work at being fair and honest and loyal to everyone. Even those who betray me.

1. What was your childhood like?

I was raised in a small bayou town in Louisiana. I was told the family that raised me were distant relatives but I’m not sure they actually were. They didn’t act as if I was blood kin—they didn’t want me. Needless to say, my childhood wasn’t happy. I had one friend in seventh and eighth grade but she moved away. I never had another one. I moved into high school and kept to myself during those four years. It was easier being alone than having to explain myself or answer questions. My answer takes me back to your question about embracing conflict. Maybe I really don’t. Maybe I run from it.

1. What in your past would you like to forget?

Nothing. I want to remember it all. I don’t want to forget anything. I can’t. I’ll replay my life over and over again until it finally makes sense.

1. What in your past would you like others to forget?

There are no “others” in my life.

1. Who is your true love?

Trent Jones. He says he fell in love with me the moment he saw me snooping around his house at midnight. I don’t know if I believe him but I love hearing him say it.

1. Was there ever a defining moment of your life?

When I saw Wounded Heart, the three story house in Oklahoma City, advertised in that Louisiana magazine, I knew I was connected to it. I knew it held the story of my life.  I should have known it was more than a coincidence, but I didn’t. I quit my job, packed up a few belongings and headed to Oklahoma City. I’d call that a defining moment because my life certainly did change.

1. What is your most closely guarded secret?

I have no secrets any more.

1. What is your most prized possession? Why?

My most prized possession—other than Trent Jones—is Tiva, my childhood doll. Some people think she’s cursed and she very well could be, because I feel safe with her. I guess that’s why she means so much to me; I like how I feel when I hold her. Safe and powerful.

1. What one word best describes you?

Decisive.

1. What is your first memory?

Looking into a pot of soup and watching a hand holding a spoon stir the liquid. I still don’t know who that hand belongs to; who was holding me?

1. Any non-family member adults stick out in your mind? Who were they, and how did you know them? Why do they stick out? 

I don’t remember any non-family members. I remember someone giving me my doll Tiva. All I remember is an arm, a white sleeve, a hand holding Tiva toward me. I only had eyes for Tiva.

1. Who was your best friend when you were growing up?

Lauria was my best friend in seventh and eighth grade. She moved away. I heard my cousins say she was taken away from her parents because they were abusive drunks but I don’t know if that’s true. I still think of her and wonder.

1. What is your fondest, childhood memory?

I went to Mardi Gras once and caught a lot of beads and candy. It was fun watching the parade and decorated floats. There were beautiful people dressed in bright colors. Everyone acted happy.

1. What don’t you like about yourself?

I don’t think there’s anything I don’t like about myself. My author gave me confidence and drive. I make up my mind to do something and I do it. I seldom second guess myself.

1. Do you think redemption is possible? If so, can anyone be redeemed, or are there only certain circumstances that can be? If not, why do you think nothing can redeem itself?

     Of course, I think redemption is possible. Otherwise, how could I have faced my father?    

    Why would I have tried to have a relationship with him? How could I see him day   

     after day and listen to him berate me and call me names if I didn’t believe redemption is

     possible. Anyone can be redeemed if they want to be. All they have to do is ask

    forgiveness—pray—repent, accept love and forgiveness from God and the persons  

    they’ve harmed. Unfortunately, my father didn’t believe in redemption—or maybe he  

    just didn’t believe in me.

1. Is it okay for you to cry? When was the last time you cried?

I cried every time I went to see my father. I’d cry each time I left him and walked back to the house. I could cry right now—thinking of him, remembering some of the horrible things he said to me.

1. What is the thing that has frightened you most? Do you think there is anything out there that’s scarier than that? What do you think that would be? 

I suppose I was most frightened when I realized how much my father hated me. And why. I still don’t fully understand it, and I’m sad to say my mother doesn’t have answers that make sense. There’s nothing scarier than your parents turning on you. Nothing. Thank God for Trent.

*~*~*~* 

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Blurb:  

Given away as a child, Rayna Guilbeau grew up with questions–questions about her real family and questions about how she ended up in Louisiana with a disfiguring heart branded on her chest. When she sees a sale ad for a house in Oklahoma City called Wounded Heart, she feels an instant connection. Somehow, the house holds the key to her mysterious past.

Trent Jones, an easy-going picker who’s always looking to make a few bucks, is the new owner of Wounded Heart, a three-story house filled with antiques and mystery. When an intriguing young woman shows up on his property at midnight, claiming she was born there, he knows his life is about to change.

On an emotional journey into danger, Trent and Rayna seek answers. But can Rayna put the past behind her and accept Trent’s unwavering love?

Excerpt:

“Rayna, I need to talk with you. Rayna?”
Rayna entered from the living area just as Trey reached the bottom of the stairs. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
He rubbed his forehead. “I need to talk to you about that doll.”
Rayna glanced toward a chair where she’d propped her old toy. “What about her?”
He motioned. “I did some research. She’s pretty old. Actually, she’s probably quite valuable.”
“I’m not selling her if that’s what you’re getting at. Honestly, Trent.” She turned from him and entered the room where the doll sat.
“No, let me finish.” He followed. “From what I can tell she’s been sold numerous times, landed in and out of pawn shops and doll stores. There’s been some very questionable happenings surrounding her.”
“What do you mean? How do you know?”
“Things happen. According to several collectors on the Internet…it’s almost like she causes things to happen to people that don’t like her. Or maybe don’t like you–or whoever owns her at the time.”
“That’s absurd. She’s a doll.”
He rubbed his head again. “Maybe a cursed doll.”
“She’s not cursed. Nothing has ever happened to me.”
He dropped his eyes to her chest.
She clasped her hand across her blouse and stared at him. “She didn’t cause that. How could she?”
“How do you know she didn’t? You have no idea how it happened or why.”
“I just know,” she yelled. “She was–” She stopped and squinted at him. “Trent, Trent, what’s wrong?”

*~*~*

AUTHOR BIO:

Jessica Ferguson is the author of The Last Daughter, a romantic suspense published by The Wild Rose Press. Her short story, If You Believe is part of Kathi Macias’ Twelve Days of Christmas series. Jess is co-editor of Swamp Lily Review, A Journal of Louisiana Literature & Arts and a staff writer for Southern Writers Magazine. She is the author of one Silhouette Romance, The Groom Wore Blue Suede Shoes, writing as Jessica Travis. Jess worked as assistant editor/writer/photographer for The Times of Southwest Louisiana, and her work has appeared in magazines and newspapers in Louisiana and Texas.

Follower her blog at http://jessyferguson.blogspot.com

Twitter: @jessyferguson

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